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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

erections in 3yr old-on seeing images and touching etc

142 replies

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:38

Hi, I'm a bit embarrassed to be posting this to be honest but for about 6 months now my (soon to be) 3yr old son has erections quite frequently.
The thing is that he has them when he looks at pictures of woman and he gets them when he asks for cuddles from me (he likes to pull up his tshirt and put his tummy on my back or belly for a cuddle), though not all the time. He's aware that this is happening as he always laughs and wants to show anyone in the region his "big willy"
I've just made a joke of it and we always say to him -"oh put it away" and laugh. I've also started to tell him that certain private parts are "mummy's"

Should this be happening? The thing that I'm getting slightly concerned about is that he is due to start nursery soon-what if he does it to someone else?

TIA xx

OP posts:

PugDog · 29/04/2006 19:38

i cnat belive the picture of women a re linked tbh

Original poster

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:40

I know it sounds bizarre believe me but it has happened many many times. We were in a shop yesterday evening and he spent about 5 minutes standing absolutely still studying the display of ladies tights with pictures of legs on...?!

OP posts:

Hattie05 · 29/04/2006 19:42

I think this is totally normal. I don't have a son myself, but used to work in a nursery and found that lots of boys (younger than your son) used to get an erection when we changed their nappy (often after their naptime).
I would be inclined to not draw any attention to it as much as possible. i think your laughing may encourage him to want to show it.
You're doing the right thing by explaining certain things are private, and should definitely explain this to him about his own willy.

How much language does he have? Does he fiddle and tell you he likes it etc? If so, you can have the chat along the lines of, its ok to enjoy it in private, but not when at nursery or in front of other people etc.
Its a fine line drawn between being comfortable with your body and realising its not for all to see isn't it!

Hopefully someone with more experience will be along soon.

Original poster

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:49

Hattie05-thanks so much for your response. I didn't realise how worried I was about it until I posted and I've kind of been waiting for responses with one eye shut iykwim!
You might well be right about the laughing-his language is excellent and he certainly likes to entertain so it may be an extension of this.
We've always taught him that his "willy" is "his" (am I making any sense here!) so we probably need to discuss with him now that certain things are private.

thanks again, I'd be grateful to hear of any other experiences people have had. TIA x

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 29/04/2006 19:50

I have a son of 2.5 and he only gets erections when I'm wiping or washing him. He has no idea about pictures of women so I'm afraid I just don't believe that at all. Unless he is seeking comfort and it's a comfort thing? And how do you know he is getting so many erections? Does he tend to go around naked a lot? And why the name change? I do wish people wouldn't name change on threads like this, surely you can understand that it's a bit suspicious - a name changer for a thread on erections in little boys???

zippitrippitoes · 29/04/2006 19:52

ignore it and it will go away..

drosophila · 29/04/2006 19:53

I have a friend with exactly the same thing happening and her son is 6. It worries her a bit.

Original poster

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:55

I'm not at all impressed with your response rhubarb. I'm his mother and he's with me all the time-that's how I know what's going on with him. His father will tell you the same.
Please don't insinuate otherwise.

OP posts:

PugDog · 29/04/2006 19:55

ooh! fight!

Hattie05 · 29/04/2006 19:57

rhubarb! do all children have to be alike! Just because your son doesn't do it means noone else possibly could.

jampots · 29/04/2006 19:57

my ds used to stand and gaze at the manequins in M&S (or more importantly their legs) and also used to stroke peoples legs too. Obviously I couldnt tell you whether this invoked some deeper feelings in him at the time but he seems over it now

Original poster

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 19:57

LOL pugdog

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 29/04/2006 19:58

Dear me! Don't get so touchy! I wasn't insinuating anything! I asked if you let him go around naked a lot - my ds usually has his nappy on most of the time so I wouldn't really know when/if he was getting erections - perhaps if he is naked a lot that is part of the problem? Easy access to willy!

But as you bring up such a subject under an assumed name you should expect some suspicion and criticism I would have thought? Of being a troll that is, not of abuse.

Hattie05 · 29/04/2006 19:58

My 3 year old dd has developed a crush on one of our male friends. I swear to god she blushes wheneve he comes round, and used to say that she loved him until i talked her out of that one .

Rhubarb · 29/04/2006 20:00

Hattie05 - since when do 2.5yr olds know enough to get erections just by looking at pictures of women? Surely this is far too young??????

zippitrippitoes · 29/04/2006 20:00

dgs has henry hoover worship..spent 20 mins on the rug on the landing admiring the hoover the other day and i had to sit next to him! hates him being switched on though!

lockets · 29/04/2006 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hattie05 · 29/04/2006 20:01

I don't know Rhubarb, but i'm sure its possible! I did have a boy at nursery who was fixated by boobs, but i innocently hoped that was due to his avid breastfeeding rather than sexual.

As i say my dd has a definite crush, she obviously doesn't have the body parts to demonstrate this quite so physically but i'm sure if she could she would!

SaintGeorge · 29/04/2006 20:02

My first instinct on reading the op was to check the posters history. As a name changer/new poster there is no history so my hackles instantly rise and I am on my guard.

Considering the subject is the potential sexual arousal of a 3yr old, I can understand where Rhubarb is coming from.

lockets · 29/04/2006 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hattie05 · 29/04/2006 20:04

Yeah but c'mon, its pretty genuine question and wording fgs. And perfectly valid reason for wanting to remain anon if rl people know you!

Original poster

ihatethetweenies · 29/04/2006 20:04

Dear all, to be honest I don't know how to respond to people suggesting abuse. I'm distraught at the suggestion. Though strangely I'm also glad that there's people out there looking out for things like that.
My question is just my question-is it normal behaviour for a 3yr old. That's all.

OP posts:

zippitrippitoes · 29/04/2006 20:04

report button is so small i forgot about it!

starlover · 29/04/2006 20:05

wow... didn't know that posting a sensitive subject under a different name automatically made you a troll rhubarb!?

fwiw i have seen a couple of similar threads to this on MN previously... so it isn't something that never happens.

are you sure he is getting erections just from SEEING things though? he isn't fiddling too? I only ask because it is unlikely that he is finding pictures of women sexually exciting IYSWIM?
but natural that he feels all comfortable and relaxed when giving you a cuddle.

I think having a chat to him about it being private is a good idea, and also ignoring it as much as you can so that he knows it doesn't get him extra attention!

SaintGeorge · 29/04/2006 20:05

Who has suggested abuse?

No-one as far as I can see.

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