The incredibly fussy eaters thread

[boschy]

Following on from the thread on AIBU, this is the place for those with incredibly fussy/food phobic kids! If you are fed up with the "eat what they're given or let them starve" brigade, this is the place for you.

(If you ARE one of the 'eat or starve' brigade, please look away now - this thread is not for you, unless of course you've just had the Damascene conversion having discovered that your child is not the great eater you always thought he/she would be, down to your incredible parenting skills and totally relaxed attitude to food.)

My fussy eater is DD1, now 15. All was fine til she hit 12 months - easy to wean, I Annabel-Karmel-ed frantically etc etc.

But overnight she just. stopped. eating. And when she started again she knew exactly what she would and wouldn't eat. We had the tears and tantrums (from me) til I realised it was going nowhere. So 14 years later, here we are.

Her current repertoire is, in no particular order: macaroni cheese (no crispy top). garlic bread. breaded chicken products. chips. pizza with tomato sauce, no cheese. cold chicken (from a packet, not off the roast). spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce. Heinz tomato soup. Milano salami. pistachio nuts. crisps. any sort of bread as long as it doesnt have bits in. wraps. bananas. Innocent fruit smoothies (hurrah!). occasional off-piste forays into things like turkey schnitzel - successful; burgers/lasagne/bolognese - not successful.

She's bored with not being able to eat what everyone else does, but cant bring herself to try. I just try to keep going with the idea that she can try whatever she likes whenever she likes, and that she will grow out of it.

FOXY 123: My DS was like your DD at nursery-he ate nothing whatsoever from drop off to pick up time at first. Then he realised that yoghurts were safe, and dry crackers and lived on that for months and months. She might settle in a bit and try something soon (clutching at straws here...)

It is something of a relief to see all of the mothers of very very fussy eaters coming out of the woodwork! Obviously I'm sorry for you all, but on a selfish level, I'm really pleased! :)

I'm giving a tonic called Minadex to DS1 at the moment to boost his iron levels-anyone have any experience of it? I have found his behaviour improves enormously when he has it-is this even possible??

Best thread ever!! Have battled with my DD1 since 14 months to try and get her to eat - Foxy 123, your list sounds very familiar to my daughter. Have had to walk away from other mums who just don't get the whole fussiness, they don't understand the utter heartbreak and to be honest, the monotony of the struggle at every mealtime to get them to eat. One particular mum has told me "that it was a moral responsibility to get children to eat healthily".... I find myself wishing that her second child turns out to be a fussy eater....

I've just had a frustrating tea time where she refuses to eat, and then I end up feeding her myself (she is 3 and a half) and then she eats the whole plate, so there is an appetite, do I refuse to feed her?? or do I feed her and at least she has eaten?!

Good to know there are other mums out there, can we have our own forum?!

Just an update to say that things are still pretty much the same.. DS has now seemingly also dropped boiled eggs and porridge off the list (he seems to gorge on it and eat little else when we visit my parents, but does not eat it here). HOWEVER, he did nibble at my marmite toast (!) and eat some tabbouleh (bulgur wheat salad with small bits of spinach and tomato) with tons of parmesan on top (I did have to feed him, though or I doubt he would have ate more than a spoonful). He also had some couscous salad with parmesan the other week (yay). And plain noodles yesterday (but only if I cut them up and fed them to him - he seems to loathe the stringyness). He seems to think that all of these things are "pasta", so ok. But plain noodles are hardly a balanced meal.

He still chews and spits things like cucumber. And I keep meaning to try him with some soup (even if that is only for dipping crackers in), but I worry the bowl is going to be upturned and the soup will end up splattered everywhere before any dipping has even begun.

Been skulking and hoping DD (2.3) gets over her fussy eating, but may as well join you. She's gone from eating anything as a one year old to pasta and pesto (with occasional peas/sweetcorn), pizza, hummous and breadsticks and fishfingers - oh, and yogurt. She's recently dropped mashed potato. Does better if I feed her and read to her (distraction is very bad, I know - but get desperate!) but still never eats much. I give her a liquid supplement and at her 2 year check she was fine. Am trying to stay calm, not make a fuss and not give up - but its been going on for months now. I swear my DS wasn't like this, but he can remember living on fishcakes and sweetcorn (he's grown up now & eats anything) - so I guess memory is deceptive!

Has anyone else noticed a common theme of pasta & pesto?! The one thing that DD would eat (and how smug was I about that?!) and still will eat no problem!

hi all - god, pasta and pesto would be gourmet in this house!! I ENVY those of you whose children eat it...

welcome to newbies, hope there's something helpful in here. constant (great song btw!), distraction sounds good to me!

fio that sounds like an interesting visit, I hope it will be helpful. I have no experience of Asp/Autism, but I do think there is a certain rigidity of personality involved with the fussy eating thing. Certainly DD1 as a small child was incredibly set in her ways, not routine bound per se in terms of naps etc, but she was always very particular about thinks like how clothes/bed linen felt. It used to be very frustrating, but I think I said earlier on here how as adults we just don't choose to eat things we don't like - well, as an adult, I don't like the feeling of wool, so I don't wear it if I can avoid it.

I've been lurking on there for a while....trying to read the whole thread but just haven't had time....so thought I'd jump straight in and join you. I have 2 DS's that are quite fussy.....both were fairly good eaters when weaning (I too religiously followed AK and discovered veggies I didn't know existed!) but it's all gone downhill! My youngest is 20mths and has been eating like a bird for the last few months....I'm trying not to worry as he's a happy, energetic and healthy chap and so is my 5 year old but sometimes it's hard not to get frustrated when they decide that they don't like whatever it is that they've eaten without complaint for the past few weeks! Or the only thing DS2 has eaten all day is 2 yoghurt pouches, 1 cheese stick, 2 satsumas, bowl of dry cheerios or bran flakes(!) and 3 crackers together with drinks of milk & water.

DS1 used to love pasta (and still does) so I can be a bit more adventurous with sauces and hide veggies there but DS2 might eat it one day but then refuse the next time. DS1 is slightly less fussy than DS2 who seems to decide at that moment in time whether he likes something or not. We have been more relaxed about the sweet stuff (bit of white choc and crisps/biscuits as it never seems quite fair if big bro is eating them but he can't ) so whilst I'm trying not to battle with him...I am trying not to give in to demands of the sweet stuff (which I was cos 'at least he's eating something'!!) DS2 was b/f until 14mths so again I was a bit more relaxed about his lack of eating but I do find that I worry every now and again about his lack of appetite/nutrition. He will eat certain types of fruit (grapes, banana, satsumas) and loves yoghurts/smoothies but 'proper' food is very lacking! I try and make sure we all eat together and when possible, we all eat the same thing but DS2 just isn't that interested! At least with DS1 I found that it was more that he just didn't want to stop to eat (I could shovel mouthfuls in!) but with DS2 if I try this then he will either spit it out or clamp his mouth shut! So there are times when I'm making 3 different meals.

No idea where this has come from as both DH and I love our food and although DH can be a bit fussy (greens rarely pass his lips!) he will give most things a try. Any tips or should I just go off the fact that both boys are energetic, healthy and happy? Both love being outdoors too so they get plenty of exercise and fresh air.

Another one here who would be turning cartwheels if pasta pesto was consumed! :)

Boschy - DS too is very set in his ways, and I agree about clothing feel and 'textures' etc. He has a screaming fit in the shoe shop every time he gets new shoes, hates the raincover on the pushchair, has always refused to wear gloves, hats, aprons, etc and tears his socks off all the time unless I stop him. However, while there is no doubt he is a late bloomer (and certainly speech-delayed) I just don't know if he has SN or it's just stuff he'll grow out of.

Does anybody understand why some kids are like this? As someone has commented near the start of the thread, it doesn't seem to be 'nurture' as my DD1 is a nightmare but DD2 is a breeze when it comes to food.

DD1 is now 7 and she is getting fussier and fussier, when she was small she would eat most things, I weaned her using AK and it all seemed fine. Now everything is 'horrible' or 'disgusting' and if we go out to eat (unless it's for pizza) she just eats bread, chips or noodles. When we go on holiday she comes back looking positively ill as she loses significant weight - 2010 we went away for 3 weeks, and she lost half a stone (she only weighed 3 stone 5 to start with). She will always eat sweets, cake, biscuits and chocolate if you let her.

I find it so so stressful and worry so much about it. We eat a varied diet and eat as a family most of the time.

She is nut allergic and isn't supposed to have too much dairy or refined wheat as she gets itchy eyes and eczema.

I'm at a loss and worry that she'll end up only eating bread and cheerios at the rate she is going.

And I find it so hard not to make a fuss about it...

I console myself which the thought that DD is unlikely to be like this at 18 (and if she is she'll have left home and I won't notice any more!)

Breakthrough last week she had 1 small spoonful of icecream on 2 different occasions!

she bit a cherry tomato (aka "moonsquirter" like charlie and lola) today. she didn't swallow it but she did try. hurraaaaayyyyyyy

I was on the thread earlier but jumping in again on behalf of my sister's 4-year-old twins.

They weren't brilliant eaters as toddlers but better than now. They will both eat the same things:

Potatoes in a few forms: mashed, chips, baked
Macaroni and cheese
Baked beans - sometimes with sausages
Meatloaf sometimes
Cheeseburgers from McDonald's
Any type of crisps
Chicken nuggets
Breaded shrimp
Diced cooked carrots
Applesauce and a couple of specific fruit cups
Any type of hard or chewy sweet, not especially keen on cake

They don't eat anything green at all, and the only veg they will eat is the aforementioned diced carrots.

Oh sorry - forgot they will sometimes eat cereal. They both drink copious amounts of milk, although the girl only drinks chocolate milk.

Hi All - wow, so great to read this - had another terrible eating day - each meal is a battle and it looks like my 3 year old is just down to cherios now - even that is a struggle

She also refuses to eat at nursery and we had to go and pick her up the other day as she was weak and just lying on the floor. Really at my wits end - whenever i see my health visitor they just weight her and as she's not terribly underweight just recomend all the usual tricks ..which don't work.

She also has a thing about smells of other foods so won't sit with us/others to eat complaining about the smells. We can't eat out anywhere now - not even at grandmas so holidays/ visiting family is a nightmare.

People say kids will eat if they get hungry enough but we have to go through hours of moaning / wailing & manic behaviour to get there. I'm sure the minidex would help if I could get her to drink it!

Still struggling here too .. but she does take minadex thank god, which i think helps. A minor improvement is veggie pizza with roasted peppers on rather than plain tomato and cheese - somehow i seem to be able to put veg on a pizza now and she'll eat it!

Great to know my DS isn't the only extremely fussy one. Tried the whole 'eat what I give you or starve', but after 3 days of refusing lunch and dinner, I gave in.
He is 5 and only eats: pasta, bread (no bits), boiled potato, cereal
: peas and sweetcorn (only if I call them yellow peas)
: grapes, occasionally 1 slice of apple, yogurt
: cheese, chicken and turkey.
He refuses all easy 'junk' like pizza, burgers, sausages, chips
I have resorted to giving him those squeezy tubes of fruit as he eats so little.
Luckily he drinks milk and fruit juice, but without bits and not thick like smoothies.
It's frustrating, and I resort to bribery quite often.

Very interesting thread, I've battled on and off for years with fussy eaters, certainly thrown a lot of food out.
My only great news is that my children ( 2 of them) dd6,dd5 love school dinners now! Clean plates - it's definately a mix of peer pressure, being incredibly hungry and the texture ( very soft and squishy). Worth the £20 pw.
I'm going to post back later, bedtime now.

This is very interesting, my daughter eats very similar things to the OP's.

I haven't read all 13 pages, so apologies if I've missed something.

I have two daughters, the first never liked food at all. She only wanted bottles of milk. I wanted to home cook and purée all her food and be such a 'good' mother, but she refused everything. I then tried jars, and she wouldn't eat those, so, in desperation, I tried the powdered food that came in my Bounty pack. She would eat two or three spoonfuls of this and then stop. After a few months we found a few jars that she would eat, but still only a very limited few.

At nearly two years old, she was still eating jars of food with no lumps. She never ate baby food with lumps. She ate very little 'normal' food.

I always felt that I had weaned her incorrectly, and that it was my fault she was like this. Then, I had a second daughter, who loved food right from the start. She loved to try new food, and liked most things.

So, my eldest daughter is now fourteen. She is sensible in most ways, and well-behaved, and does try to eat as normally as possible, as she knows we just want her to be healthy.

This is what she eats:
Apples (peeled and chopped up)
Cheese and tomato pizza
Chicken nuggets, but not chicken if it is still on the bone
Roast dinner with meat, potatoes, peas, carrots, gravy and a tiny bit of broccoli
Heinz spaghetti and sausage (she would live on this quite happily)
Pasta with carbonara or tomato and mascarpone sauce
Fish in breadcrumbs
Chips
Raw carrots
Garlic bread or dip
Toast with marmite
Scrambled eggs
Cookie crisp cereal
No sweets, but she likes crisps, chocolate and biscuits
Angel cake
She drinks water, sometimes squash, but hates fizzy drinks
Sausages (only skinless)
Doesn't really like Chinese food, but has recently tried and liked prawn toast, and satay chicken with peanut sauce
Chicken Kiev
Salted popcorn

It is usually the texture of food that she doesn't like. Taste-wise she likes quite bland food, but very salty, so we have to watch her with the salt!

"I always felt that I had weaned her incorrectly, and that it was my fault she was like this. Then, I had a second daughter, who loved food right from the start. She loved to try new food, and liked most things."

I must admit this is one of my big reasons to look forward to having a second - I want to know if I can actually produce a child who loves food, as I do feel like I did something wrong with DS. I have to tell myself that even at 6 months he hated being spoon fed and never did the 'munching happily on broccoli trees' thing that other babies did.

Hi, new to this. Been reading through the thread, and I feel for all the parents going this.
I have 5 children ranging from 15 yrs to 7 mths my eldest DD1 eats everything including things I wouldn't consider looking at let alone eat. DD2 used to be a brilliant eater ate everything I put in front of her, she was also bf till she was 2. When i stopped bf her eating habits declined. Now she is 12 and doesn't eat anything unless it is bland and processed or sweet and even then it's sometimes difficult.
Her diet consists of
Cheese
Cheese and tomato pizza
Cheese and tomato spaghetti
White bread or toast no crusts
Garlic bread
Bacon
Sausage
Micro chips
Heinz spaghetti
Macaroni cheese bachelors not homemade
Chicken nuggets
mouthful of rice
Carrots
Apples pink lady
Banana
Roast potatoes
Chicken thin bits
Turkey thin
Homemade Yorkshire puddings
Plain pasta
Gravy
Weetabix
Choc n roll cereal
Golden nuggets
Most sugar laden cereals
And most crisps chocolate and sweets

She only eats small amount and nothing can touch anything else on her plate. I struggle to get her to eat breakfast in the mornings but will eat cereal later in day.
But she does drink water and lots of it. I have tried every trick to get her to eat to the point of trying to put food into her mouth and b4 it has got there she has thrown up on her dinner even now. I've tried to get help for her and I'm told she will improve as she gets older. It doesn't help me feel any better, due to her bad eating she suffers with tummy troubles and ends up with feacel impactation, and ended up at hospital screaming in pain as she can't go to the toilet and needs intervention.
She also carries a bit of weight nothing much but it does make her conscious when her friends are really slim and she wants to be like them or stars you see on tv which in turn causes her to eat less. It makes me want to cry.
My other children are fairly good eaters and I'm not to worried as the do get the nutrients they need.
I do wonder how this happened, I bf all my children and gave them all homemade varied diets and yet DD2 just won't eat the same as us. I know it is taste and texture that doesn't help as I am the same but I will still eat it and I have explained to my DD2 that sometimes you just have to keep trying.
It's a long hard road and you just have to keep trying

I have 3 year old twin boys who were hard to wean, loved being bf, and are probably in the mid range of fussiness described here. I'm interested in what you all aim for / expect in terms of table manners as it's often very hard for me to get mine to sit still at the table and I end up chasing them about as they constantly come back and forth to their food. Any thoughts / tips much appreciated.

Oh my I can't tell you the relief of finding this thread, I have a 23 month old DS and 3 months ago after being sick with a bug for a few days he just stopped eating all the stuff he was eating before - he is currently living on:
Rice cakes with avocado (my only proud moment)
Yoghurts
Any fruit
Cheese
Cereal
Porridge
Toast

Am still breatfeeding and wonder whether I should stop if that would make a difference.
Mainly I feel like a failure, I have cooked all his food from 6 months, not made a big deal over food, we sit round the table to eat etc etc yadder yadder but we appear to have a fussy eater - I just don't know how it has happened.

It makes me sad/angry when friends say oh you should try making meal times fun/put it in front of him until he eats it/my baby eats everything - in fact I often run out of food! sigh

He is teething again and has been almsot constantly since 8 months, so I live in hope that once that calms down he will start eating again.

He is a healthy, wonderful, bright, sparky little boy who is growing day by day, so I guess I should stop worrying.

Nice to know I am not alone....