Doc blaming our co-sleeping/extended breastfeeding for 2 yo DD's development issues... I need advice

[eskimomama]

Hello,

My DD is 2 (25 mo) and not speaking at all, not one word. She doesn't respond to her name and doesn't point much either (only in her peppa pig books).

Over the past few months I got awfully worried it could be ASD and managed to get refered to a child psychologist. We saw him in August and now again in November. Back in August he said he wasn't worried for ASD but told me I should try to stop breastfeeding at night (she's a bad sleeper) and also to stop co-sleeping.

We tried a few times but didn't manage, it was way too hard and me and DH were just shattered.

Now in November, nothing has changed. She has started nursery but only 1 hour per day so far as she finds it very hard to adapt. Getting better slowly though.

Her hearing is being checked later this week just to rule out hearing difficulties (she does look a lot at our lips when we talk, and touches our lips when she wants a song).

So today the child psychologist basically told me off for still co-sleeping and still breastfeeding at night when she wakes up. I KNOW it's not ideal but it just happened that way (she had bad eczema as a baby due to milk/egg allergies and woke up all the time scractching, only BFing would calm her down) We also moved around a lot (changed homes 4 times in one year, and overseas) and it might have affected her...who the hell knows.

I think its not very valid to blame co-sleeping and breastfeeding for her development issues... it sounds like a piece of old school advice. Most of my friends who have toddlers co-sleep with them somehow, and many moms do extended bfing too.

I don't think I'm overprotecting her that much.....?

The child psychologist thinks she never learned to separate herself from me (she's only been with me until 2, no baby sitter at all, no nursery until 2) and I should let her cry at night to help her understand she is an individual. He says starting nursery now isn't enough, the change should happen at home too.

I'm confused and not convinced, and if I'm not convinced how can I change things...

Thanks in advance for any shared experience!

Not read whole thread but cosleeping and extended bf are not the problem

wolfhound thanks unfortunately we've left London and moved to France, close to Geneva.

Mathanxiety DD hasn't outgrown her allergies so far. She has a very bad reaction to her first sip of formula at 6 months, then got prick and skin tests at 7, 10, 13 and 18 months. She is still very allergic to egg, slightly less to milk but she can't drink cow's milk at all.

carole so your DS's hearing problem was the consequence of his recurrent ear infections? DD never had any, but she had bad hayfever from May to July this year (runny nose, sneezing every day), which is linked to her egg alergy. I mentioned this to the audiologist this morning but he didn't really seem to care.

Has she ever been tested for anything other than milk and eggs (besides the wheat mentioned above)?

gosh, that's really tough. i've had two mum friends who are severely restricted in their own dietary intake due to extended bf children with food allergies. it affects the mum just as much. i always admired their perseverance - i would have said 'enough' at 12mos and normalised my own diet back again. kudos op.

yes she's been tested for about everything else (all nuts, fish, etc.). She was slightly allergic to hazelnut and almond but apparently not anymore.
And yes I have been eating dairy and egg free for 18 months now :)

Hi eskimomama,

Just wanted to check how you got on with your toddler. Did she eventually start speeking? I am having similar problems with my toddler (20 mo). Your story seems so similar to mine.

@eskimomama just wanted to ask how you got along later? Struggling with similar issues.