Just lost it, had to come out of the way because i am so angry

[Donbean]

Im shaking. I think there is some thing wrong with ds.
He has just picked up a full can os DH's lager, while dh reached for it, backed away till out of reach then dropped it all over the carpet.
This was plain bloody naughtyness.
I just went bazerk, shoved him out of the room onto the naughty step and went mad at dh for putting the can there in the first place.
Ive posted and posted about ds's behaviour and i am going to have to take him to the Dr's i cant stand it any more.
Im too angry to accept his appology and im too angry to even look at him. I am sick and tired of it.

Can you get out for a walk donbean, just for ten minutes. Sounds like you could do with a breather.

Poor you. Was your ds trying to get his dad's attention?

how old?

I dont know, he has just spent the whole day with his dad. It feels like he is just naughty all the time and he has our full attention, im finding it especially hard to deal with this destructiveness.
I want to ask on the SN bourds but dont want to offend any one by suggesting that if a child is naughty then they must have special needs, and they are always shirty when people ask about behaviour traits of SN children.
I am sure there must be some thing wrong with him.The naughty step is losing its power, he wont get star charts, dont know what to do

I would do what spidermama suggests and go for a walk, even round the block
hope things get better
xxx

2.4

I would be so cross too. At least you didnt beat him up!

What else has he done that makes you think there is something seriously wrong?

((( Donbean )))

Deliberately destructive, ignores all instruction/requests (get coat on/shoes on) Not interested in toys, just wants to get to electrics/fire extinguishers/buttons/cooker/radiators/lights has a thing about locks and door handles. Throwing things as hard as he can at windows/glass cabinets/people
Every piece of furniture is damaged, huge chunks out of walls, deliberate spilling of cups upside down in front of my face. Flooded the bathroom and kitchen......IM GETTING MORE WOUND UP TYPING ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SO MAD, there is just no need ffs

Donbean......i know it sounds corny but try a behaviour chart.

We were beside ourselves with the naughtiness of ds1. The improvement has been incredible since we did the chart.

I drew a castle with a drawbridge and did numbers 1-14 up to the castle. There is a big scary dragon at the bottom and he has to try and get a step up to the castle to rescue himself and his brother (there is a foto of him and his baby brother.)

ATEOTD we go through ds1's behaviour. Eating all food? Kind to daddy and mummy and baby? No kicking, punching etc If all the answers are yes then he gets a step. 14 steps (2 weeks) equals a present which he can choose himself.

Having said that, it all went to pot today and he lost a couple!

It cant hurt to try it

donbean, does he do this kind of thing often? I have to say, my ds1 could easily have done what you describe as well.

um, I dont want to sound judgemental, but why did you go bezerk over a 2 year old trying to wind his parents up?

sounds pretty normal to me for a 2.4 yr old. the one who is in the wrong IMO is your dh for leavign it there in the first place. ps. whats he doing with a can of lager at this time?

kids learn through exploration, if you dont want them to explore something - dont put it infornt of them - like block the plughole, block the stairs with stair gate. other safety stuff - you wouldnt leave a hot brew on the floor - so that a toddler could come ver ad burn themselves, why leave a can of lager. must of looked very intriguing.

think you do need SN board. even if he isnt SN they may have other suggestions for you with regards to his behaviour.

Now I have seen your list, he seems to be a bit of a handful!!

At the mo, i can just keep it together,but im scared that i will be so inscensed by it one time, i wont be so restrained terrified of that

You sound at the end of your tether - a horrid place to be, and I hope the walk (if you went) helped even a teeny bit. I do'nt have a 2.4 ds or any experience of one, just a 1.11 dd...BUT there are times recently when she will do something she knows she's not allowed to do 'out of plain naughtiness'.

Yes, sometimes, she's overtired, sometimes she's trying to get attention (I was on the phone last time she did this) but SOMETIMES she's just plain angry. And I don't know why, and she doesn't know how to talk about it yet.

Someone told me (someone who knows much more than me) that kids this age have hormonal surges similar to an adolescent, and just as hard to control. I find if I think of my dd as PMS-ing when she's in one of her moods it sort of helps...wonder if your DS is having big testosterone surges?

Another thought...does your DS talk much yet? Does he have words to talk about his feelings? Sorry if this sounds oversimple (I'm newish to MN and have no idea what you may/may not have been through already) its just that as DD is starting (just) to use words like 'scared' and 'angry' she's using less of the angry/scared behaviour and we're doing better.

Wishing you a load of support - whether its from the Dr, the HV, or anywhere else.

xxC

As everyone says though, he is only 2 and they do have the knack of knowing how to wind parents up! Does he go to nursery? Has anyone else commented on him? What is he like with other children? Does he have any siblings?

donbean, have a look at this thread, there is a link to some information.

donbean is he like this with just you and your dh
or naughty for everybody

agree with misdee about posting on sn boards

OK, hadn't seen the rest of this thread (overlapped), sorry....definitely being oversimple, thats a lot to be dealing with. I'd definitely make a noise with possible support sources until you get heard, and get the support!

A friend of mine found her daughter in the 'naughty corner'. She is 2.5yrs. Mum said, 'Why are you in the corner? You havent done anything wrong.'

The child walked over to a cup of drink, knocked it to the floor and said, 'I have now.' and walked back to the corner.

How conniving is that??

Its the end of a VERY long and difficult week with ds, not sleeping (due to throat infection)I just am at the end of a short tether i suppose. Wouldnt normally be that extreme.
Bloody dh on the other hand, football on and lager cracked open....ive had STIFF words with him about where he puts it. (he will only have the one, its his weekly treat i think!)
It was dh's fault, not ds's, im just so fed up of the constant battle that goes with a 2 year old. Today is not good

pmsl collision. i sent my neice to the nauighty step once, afterwards she went to the loo and asked 'do i go back to the step now?' i said no, she said 'but i want to'

i'd tell him where to put his lager

Donbean - I'm sure no-one on the SN board would be offended by your questions. Don't feel put off from starting a thread. Even if your ds doesn't have any SN then some of the techniques used by parents on the SN board may work well for him too.

Can't your dh go to the pub to watch the football? It's hardly sociable.

I can't stand men lounging on the sofa taking up a whole room with bellowing sport. It's no good for you. It's not nice for your ds and yet the atmosphere fills the whole room.

My dad used to do this every weekend and I remember the sitting room being out of bounds for me every saturday.

It's your weekend too. I'd kick his arse out to the pub if he wants to behave like that.