Getting annoyed when I tell people my babys name

[Bumbleconfusus]

Had the new arrival for almost a week now, and everyone happily asks what her name is, then seems to recoil. I am presuming they all think its pretentious (and that I must be a silly little girl who gave my little girl a made up name-even though it is a real name, they just haven't heard it before) and I have to explain where the name came from (this is more difficult to do to passers by). Why do people have to be so judgemental?

I have a rather long name. First name, middle name, and two surnames (not double-barrelled) the way we do in Spain. I only use the full lot for doctors, banking and passport, for everything else I use my first name and surname to avoid having to spell it out and explain the story every time. Also, my surname is typically both a surname and a male name in England, so once I went to the doctors and was told they were expecting a man (!). Nice. I also refused to change my surname when I got married because I like to carry this inheritance of my parents and that's what we do in my culture, which took quite a lot of explaining.
But it's brilliant to have a foot in each culture, and as I was the third child, I got my own first name (not a repeat of the parental ones, as per tradition!)

Also to clear things up, my side of the family has the polishness (hence Teresa), my DH is north african, hence the Berber name. An example in the UK where middle names can get missed out are in school documentation, exam results, degree certificates etc, making them all void in DH's home country.

Actually thinking about it I know lots of people (most called Kerry for some reason) who are actually double-barrelled e.g. Kerry-Jane, Kerry-Rose. Day to day they are all known as Kerry, but it was Kerry-Jane in the register at school, and on their passports etc, and their mothers call them the full name. I don't think it will cause as much confusion as you think if she ends up using just Teresa out of the house (except for confusion with grandma of course).

"it's a bit irritating to choose an unusual name, and a really long one then moan that people can't or won't say it. 6 syllables?! You must know once she moves out into the world, no one will bother faffing about with it, so either put up with it and accept it's your doing, or change it."

Why is it irritating? I think it is a nice name and it isn't that difficult to say. to be honest if people can't be bothered to say someone's name properly I think it is just lazy. I don't agree that people wont bother faffing around with it. I haved a friend called Louisiana and everyone calls her by her full name.

My youngest daughter has an unusual name and we also have a double barrelled surname. If anyone finds it irritating then that's their problem not mine!

adds Flangipan to list of possible names for DD2

It's character-building to have people recoil at your name - I've been doing it 40 years and wouldn't change it for the world...

Lovely name - just ignore people. Wanted Teresa myself with the continental pronounciation but dh hates the way people pronounce it in Britain and would not let me have it.

My eldest has a very traditional name, my second a girl has a boys name and my son has a very unusal name (which is unfortunalty a brand name).

I know exactly how you feel about peoples reactions. My mother still calls my son Geaorge because that is what she wanted us to call him. I love my childrens names.

Its a beautiful name and your choice no one elses. Be proud.

it's fine to chose an unusual name, and fine to have one as long as you want. I agree, both names are nice. But it's a bit much to be surprised when people find it difficult or too long - as others have said, even 2 syllable names are often shortened, never mind 6. And some names like the Louisiana mentioned earlier are more likely to be kept intact (could obv be shortened to Lou etc) but hyphenated names like Emma-Jane for example are often shortened to just 1 name, not always but often.

So while I fully agree it's a nice name, and the op can and should chose whatever she wants and delight in it, she nevertheless needs to accept this reaction and get used to it, cos she's likely to get it for years to come, and have to put up with people using all sorts of nicknames.
It's long and it's unusual. Not a great combination if you want to just say it once with a smile and have everybody take it on board first time without comment.

I would instinctively pronounce Teresa in the manner of the OP, but I think that's because I associate it with Mother Teresa.

People will get over their initial reactions and grow to like it, I'm sure. Should DD ever get a sibling then names I like for a girl are Pearl, Miriam or Beatrice, all of which have had unfavourable reactions from some quarters. But I don't care, I like them and that's that. Equally, DH and I both really like Arthur for a boy and we've had some telling comments about that, too. Again, since we really like it, we're not too bothered what other folk think.

I suspect at school it will get shortened to TD. We had a girl in my class who was called Laura-Jayne and was universally known as LJ her mum use to wince everytime she heard it, but Laura loved her cool nickname!

I have a hyphenated first name and people rarely use it, not even my own mother! I have a little boy called Artemus and, surprisingly, most people love it, even the elderly....I was ready for everyone to repeat it and loathe it and i couldn't have cared less.

I know a Teresa who gets 'Tree' as a nn, and another who gets Terri. You really want to avoid both of these I'd say!

A friend was going to call her baby Cascade if it was a girl,thankfully she had a boy.

Wrong thread.

Bumbleconfusus Congratulations on your new daughter, how wonderful.
A lovely, thoughtful and unusual name.
Don?t let this get you too stressed. If you are talking about people in the street who ask her name, don?t worry too much. After all they are just curious and maybe embarrassed that they can't pronounce it first time.
For people who you will see regularly it is more important, I think, that people get your dd's name right. When she is older she will get nicknames and she may even decide herself what she wants to be called.
Personally, I like the idea of you deciding what nickname to use but if you really don't want to then don't.
As far as certificates at school, that is something easier to deal with as you can insist that they put the right name on the form.
I have not read all the replies you have got to your comment but I just wanted to say don?t let your disappointment at people?s odd reactions spoil this special time. You know her name, chose it and love her and really she is far more important than all that. BUT I do understand the name you have chosen reflects her family, her culture and if anyone cannot pronounce it properly just don?t let it spoilt this fun time. All the best.

As poular as my 10 month old sons name sems to be, we get raised eyebrows and the re-coil of passers by too.

He is Gabriel (middle name Henry).

You love your dd's name (and i think it's very pretty and uniquw , o why should others' opinions matter?

A lot of people are incredibly blinkered when it comes to names - they hear what they want to hear, and expect your child to have one of the top 10 names - I have an Amelie, and always get the reaction, "oh, Emily" - no she's NOT Emily, I very clearly pronounce the "A" and the "e" to try to avoid being misheard but people hear what they want to. If people see it written down they assume I have mis-spelt Amelia.

It's like that Goodness Gracious Me sketch where the English guy goes in and the Indian interviewer struggles to pronounce the name "James" and suggests they just call him Baljinder or something - classic English inability to cope with anything "foreign"!

An elderly relative was in a home where his carer was called Yasmin - to his last days he called her Daphne.

Personally I love hearing unusual names (real names of different cultures, not wacky made-up unusual names - I can't stand the ones where people mix up 2 names to make a new one, Waynetta style!)

Just because people don't like a name doesn't mean they either didn't hear ir, didn't understand it, or can't appreciate its cultural validity.

How it works is you get to name your kid, other people are allowed their own opinions as long as they aren't rude about it. Personally on hearing OP's choice I would outloud say how lovely, and internally think, thats a mouthful and a half, and she'll be well pissed off in a few years.

Teresa-Dehia

Yep

My bro and his wife are already just calling her 'Wee-T'.

Is that the double-barrelled brother? He may be trying to tell you something :-)
My brother never learned to spell my married name.

I will not give in

Bless, and good luck. I'm afraid among native Brits in UK, anything Teresa is going to be an endless source of native alternative spellings and pronunciations. The Reesa. Terry-easa. The Razor. Treeza.

Actually, it's just TD

TD

It has now been 13 years, she is now called TD and Teresa-Dehia by her Grandparents and Dehia by her Parents and siblings.