Getting annoyed when I tell people my babys name

[Bumbleconfusus]

Had the new arrival for almost a week now, and everyone happily asks what her name is, then seems to recoil. I am presuming they all think its pretentious (and that I must be a silly little girl who gave my little girl a made up name-even though it is a real name, they just haven't heard it before) and I have to explain where the name came from (this is more difficult to do to passers by). Why do people have to be so judgemental?

I think it's quite likely that the OPs dd will grow up intelligent enough to handle her name in some way that suits her, without the OP needing to worry about it now.

And even if the OP does work out ways of shortening it or whatever now, chances are her dd, or her dd's mates will come up with something totally different over the years.

My dd has foreign name, has worked her way over several anglicisations and is now stuck with an abbreviation that is not the one lovingly devised for her by her parents. For the time being.

i have a first name which makes people go and roughly 5 or 6 times a day. I used to find it annoying, but I think it's character forming actually. And people never forget my name once they get past the initial WTF????. It is nioce to be memorable.

You have to not let it bother you what people think of the name. Names are such subjective things - pick a more ordinary one and some people will love it and others will think you're staid and unimaginative; pick a more unusual one and you risk meeting distaste. The most important thing is that you like the name.

Not many people really like my DS's name (Jared). It's not a 'wacky' name by any means but when people do ask and I respond they are often blank-faced/uncomfortable/feign enthusiam. Only a couple of people have seemed to genuinely like it. And I understand that: I warmed to the name. My initial impression was that is seemed like quite a modern, American kind of name. Then I met DP and it's his middle name and the name took on different connotations. Suddenly it seemed strong and different. I was a little stung when my DS was younger and people were seemingly not keen on the name - I found myself constantly protesting the heritage of the name, blabbing on about Genesis and Enoch - but now I feel like he and the name have melded together perfectly, and it's looking like he will grow up to pull of a name with that kind of character.

Be happy with your choice. This is the first of many choices in your parenting, many of which other people may judge you for!

Jared is a FAB name!

If as others are suggesting you shorten it now, rather than it happening naturally when shes older then maybe its time to re-consider before her name is registered.

she was registered on day 2 of her life, as she had to be registered at the embassy within 7 days to get into my husbands family book (which we had to post, and they are only open certain days), and I had no doubts that was the name we wanted. Also, why on earth would she ever get called Tess? I would say that would be absolute laziness by some people, my mother has NEVER had her name shortened, I can understand people saying it may get shorted to only being one of the names, but Tess???

Also I agree with jasper, Jared is a lovely name.

Bumbleconfusus - Tess is a relatively common nickname for Teresa. So I suggested it as an option if you decided to go for a shortened version of Teresa-Dehia's name but didn't want to use Teresa because of confusion with your mum. Entirely up to you if you choose to shorten what that shortening would then be - whether just one of her two names, or something shorter. I was just suggesting the one that springs naturally to my mind. At school they'll probably call her something else entirely anyway

you need to be impervious to other people's reaction to the name. you can't force people to like it, or to gush over it. you can't really blame people that although they say nothing, their acting isn't up to scratch. if other people's reactions are going to bother you, choose a more mainstream name.

ps, would it be possible to put the hyphen on the polish documentation, but make it Teresa Dehia on the UK documentation???

That way her name would just be Teresa if anybody asked, not Teresa and let me read out my thesis on differing name practises between the UK and Poland.

I like the name and totally accept your reasons for giving it your DD. However, I think it's a bit unrealistic of you to get het up when someone suggests Tess- It's what I first thought of when I saw Teresa. You have to think of possible shortenings when you give your child a long name- not everyone will refer to her as Teresa-Dehia for the rest of her life. This is not just an English thing, it happens in all cultures.

My DSs have names that are common for those that speak Welsh, weird for those who don't. I don't really care, tbh.

I find it a bit odd how some posters seem to think nicknames are just people being lazy. I've always thought nicknames are a way for people to be a bit creative and are a show of friendship.

I like the OPs chosen name, but it is a mouthful and truthfully I've never liked the idea of naming a child after someone close in the family as it does cause confusion.

My daughter is 16, and her name is Indianna, when she was born we had lots of different reactions!! some people hate it some love it. She has shortened it herself to Indie, and its only me that calls her Indianna! But she does like her unusual name and it suits her, so be proud of Teresa-Dehias name but it is inevitable that it will end up shortened!

If you give your child a long name, it's going to get shortened. If you give your child an unusual name, people will get it wrong.

My son is Adam. It's short and simple, but some people call him still call him 'Ad'. I cringe because I don't like it, I don't see the point and I personally wouldn't shorten a little child's name unless I knew the parents were ok with it, but I know that when he's older it's what all his friends will probably do.

Congratulations! My dd is Teresa, we are Italian and Teresa is a very traditional name here in Italy... and I know that some don't like it... but I don't care, because I think it's a beautiful name and dd loves it.

She was called Ter-eeeeeees-a though when we were in the UK... we didn't mind.

Its a very very pretty name Bumble and you should fight for it, but I must confess I did immediately think "Ooh and you could shorten it to Tess which would be lovely!"

I think it is a very nice name and you should continue to introduce your daughter by the name you chose. To be honest I think it is a bit rude of people to react like that and I wouldn't even bother explaining to people in the street, if they don't like it then too bad.

People shorten names because they like you! I have a 1-syllable name which occasionally gets lengthened

I too would bet a fiver on her being 'Taz' as soon as she hits 13!

It is difficult for people to remember names that are unusual, esp if they are long. If you were talking to me in thte street, I certainly wouldn't pull a face but I would mentally tag your DD as 'Teresa-wotsit'. There is no way I'd remember Te-re-sa-de-hi-a at first go!

Congratulations on the arrival of Teresa-Dehia. I think all you can do is love the name and its owner and try not to mind what others think. It's a lovely name that honours both sides of her family, which is important. It will grow on all the important people in her life as they come to associate it with her and you can't really control what less important people think in the interim. If it's any comfort I really think almost every name under the sun gets a hmm reaction or mispronounced now and then. My baby's name is Marianne, which though not particularly popular is a fairly simple to grasp name imo, and we've had lots of "Mary-Ann! How lovely!" "Mariam? Very old fashioned!" etc etc.

I'm so glad lots of you think "Tess" is a lovely name - as it's mine! (and I love it ).

I think the OP is perhaps still a little hormonal with her very new baby & can therefore be forgiven for jumping down people's throats for suggesting 'Tess' as a name she might choose as a pet name for her DD. 'Tess' is a very common derivation of Theresa, Teressa, Teresa, and even Esther, in the UK. If you're living here you may need to accept that she could end up with this shortened version given her by other people, and may even choose it herself as she gets older. It's not laziness either, rather affection & a sign of friendliness.

I agree with all the previous posters who have said that with a name as long, unusual and the one the OP's DD has been given it is inevitable that someone somewhere will shorten it. Either choose a shortened version that you & your partner like now, or get used to biting your tongue, or prepare yourself, and your DD for a lifetime of defense & explanations.

Why is it more wrong to shorten a 'non-English/foreign/whatever'you-want-to-say ' name than an 'English' one? Just out of interest.

op - Agree that both names are pretty, but together they are difficult to say (untill you get used to it, presumably) and you can't blame people if they mis-hear it or find it hard to pronounce.

Surely Tess is an accepted derivative of Teresa in the UK? Sort of the way Kate is for Katherine? Quite possible I am wrong but always been my understanding.

you do need to remember that if a person hasn't heard a name before it can sound like a random string of sounds which have been put together. so it can take a few "goes" before you can get your tongue around it

I have a very common British name, however it is unheard of in many other parts of Europe. When abroad If it is likely I will see an individual again I say my name very carefully. However if it is someone I am unlikely to see ever again i just give an approximation of my name - that is if I was in Spain I would call myself by a similar but Spanish sounding name.

I find that most people want to like a babies name, and that saying anything they have heard of makes them happy. my dd got lots of "what a lovely boy" comments when little (still does!) as she wears a lot of her brothers clothes. I normally just agreed and carried on if I was in a hurry/feeling lazy. It didn't harm her or me!

I think 1of4 speaks sense: "you do need to remember that if a person hasn't heard a name before it can sound like a random string of sounds which have been put together.". So most people in this country would be able to recognise "Teresa" even if pronounced in a (to them) unusual way. But probably if you are saying Teresa-Dehia all day every day it will sound like one long name when you introduce her to people: Teresadehia. It's pretty likely no-one has ever heard that combination of syllables before, so you can't really blame people for looking puzzled. If it's any comfort, they will be feeling far more embarrassed than you, as all they want to do is say "Ah, [name], that's very pretty. And what a lovely baby!", and now they realise they won't be able to.

Good for you trying to bring the name Dehia more attention though, it's lovely . Just to warn you though, people might read it as Delia at first, I did.

Nice page about a historical Dehia, not sure if it's anything to do with your daughter's name or not, but sounds like a good role model!

Wonder how many MNers are sitting at their computers right now muttering "Teresa-Dehia"?

I agree with whomever said you can't give your kiddo a name like that and not expect a reaction. I doubt it's them thinking you are pretentious, it's more like them thinking, "Oh crap, how am I going to remember that/say that without embarrassing myself?"

I can understand your reasoning of calling her a double name, but I can also see that being too much for people who have just met her to immediately deal with. When someone asks her name, why not just say "Teresa" and if they show interest, then explain it's actually "Teresa-Dehia" because of your mum, etc etc. Most people just want to know the name so they don't call the baby "it". They don't need a whole 10 minute history into things.

Just butting in. My dd has an unusual name - although 100 years ago it was quite common in this country. I often get people needing 4 or 5 repetitions before they understand it, and then they ask 'why'. dd has a family name that goes way back, but has fallen out of usage, and quite often people come back to me and say that now they come to think about it they used to have a great-aunt etc with that name.

I think a name with history is a good thing and a thing to be proud of. It tells you where you come from. It may change or get altered for convenience as the child grows, but it will always be with her/him. Don't see the explaination as boring, see it as a proud expression of Teresa-Dehia's identity.