To think people should try and be a bit kinder

[Trivie]

I haven’t been using this baby names board for very long however I have noticed that some people are down right horrible to an unnecessary amount.
Of course if someone is asking for opinions on a name and you don’t like it, it’s fine to say that. But why do people spin off into “it’s chavvy” “it’s cruel” etc.
Not only are these responses often classist as any name not rigidly associated with the middle class gets abused but they are also totally dramatic and unnecessary. The same goes for the “I can’t imagine a doctor/lawyer/politician” with that name comments which to at least to me just suggest the commenter is bigoted and narrow minded if they really can’t imagine a lawyer or a doctor with a non-traditional name.
I don’t really understand why people can’t just say “it’s not to my taste how about x name in a similar style”.
I know the internet removes a lot of accountability but I don’t think it would hurt people to remember that the odds are these names do belong to real people or their children, and someone might read how cruel you are being about their name and find that rather hurtful.

Why do people feel the need to be so horrible on this board? Why is it so classist? and what do people get out of making comments akin to a bully instead of politely saying it’s not their favourite and moving on?

I still don't.
What has cosy got to do with being "large" ?

I always found Cozy Powell's name really weird - and he was a rock star; but even his actual name was Colin.

Also, rather essentially in these instances, using an informal version of their names was a PR exercise. You know, old Tony and Bill are just regular guys - they're appealing to the wider electorate and both sat on the left, politically speaking. Anthony and William are probably our typical stuffy policitician.

A formal name allows for this flexibility, an informal one doesn't.

If people ask on a public forum, they can't complain about whatever response they want. I don't understand people needing validation online for their choice of baby name, it's so bizarre. If you and the other parent like the name, what else matters.

Like David 'call me Dave' Cameron.

Agreed - this board can feel like a classist timewarp.

I think that sometimes some soon-to-be parents need a warning about how others will view the names (some of which are outlandish) and made to consider the effects that their choice may have on their child.

If they ask for opinions they will get them. The whole range. If they don't ask then I won't give an opinion or will keep it to myself.

Haha exactly. He tried 😂

Nominative determinism is real.

Trivie, you're right.
It is nicer to read polite ways of notating dislike for a name than an outright insentitive judgement.

The thing is OP, whatever you get told on here you know that people in real life will be thinking it too, they'll just be too polite to say it to your face.

Saying 'it's not my taste' over and over doesn't tell you anything. Why isn't it their taste? Their taste might be completely unreasonable.

TBH OP I think the examples you gave did need putting a stop to. I really think a lot of parents don't think about the implications for their child who has actually got to live with the name. It's like they're naming dolls or kittens, not people who have got to grow up and live with the name for 70 years.

I think that if people saying ‘Klingon is a stupid name’ is that upsetting to you, you might want to think about whether you live in some kind of echo chamber where no one ever robustly disagrees with you.

You think there is an issue with Gigi? Lola? Or Cody? (Okay it’s fair to say Kodie isn’t the most intuitive spelling but what’s wrong with Cody?) What’s wrong with Gigi? What’s wrong with Lola?
Like I already it’s fine to point on Gigi and Lola together has a certain connotation but what is wrong with them separately? What is fundamentally wrong with Cody?

I think literally the point of the baby names forum is to hear the things people won't say to your face about your baby names. If you are old enought to have a baby, you should be robust enough to endure the knowledge that not everybody has the same taste as you. And even some people think your taste is bad.

This is a universal experience. Everyone's tastes and opinions are held in low esteem by somebody. If you've ever read the reviews on your favourite book on Amazon, you'll know some people hated it, however amazing it is.

If you name your kid Isis, you might want to know it's an evil terrorist organisation, if that's not your intended reference. If you name your kids Gigi and Lola, it's worth knowing that a lot of people will think they sound like strippers. You might also think those people are dickheads. That's fine isn't it?

I've got an Irish name and a lot of people on here think it's practically child abuse to give a child a name that's hard to spell. I... don't care what they think at all.

The way you write and come across actually makes me like the fact that you don’t like Cosmo, which I now like even more!

And no, I don’t have a Cosmo, but I love slightly unusual classics like it.

😭😭 came here to say this

Welcome to fucking mumsnet. We don't pull any punches around here. If your name is shit, we will say it.

I disagree with you. Here you find out what people actually think rather than just a 'hmm, it's not to my taste'.

Without knowing your tastes and worldviews your description as “shit” doesn’t really mean much!

People need to be a little thicker skinned and trust their own judgment more, rather than taking ‘advice’ from random strangers on the internet who might have completely different tastes and views than you

There is nothing "fundamentally wrong" with any name, but whether we like it or not, names communicate a huge amount about the social class of the parents. It shouldn't be the case that people will make certain assumptions about a child called "Cody" or similar, but the fact is, they do.

As a parent, you can choose to ignore those stupid assumptions and stereotypes if you wish, or you can decide that you don't want your child to be judged in that way, even though you might think that the judging is wildly inappropriate. It's your choice, but I'm not sure that it helps you to simply be oblivious to the way in which certain names might be perceived by others? Isn't it better to be able to make an informed choice?

I can't emphasise enough that I'm not saying that it's right that people make those assumptions based on nothing more than a name, but it's human nature and it happens.

Saying 'it's not my taste' over and over doesn't tell you anything. Why isn't it their taste? Their taste might be completely unreasonable.

That reminds me of the Miss Jean Brodie quote that's perfect for batting away a question without giving any opinions away:

“For those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like.”

That is a great quote that says so much while hardly saying anything at all!!

I agree with you OP. There are lots of nasty posters who enjoy trying to upset other posters. I presume they are doing it deliberately as it’s not exactly hard to simply say you don’t like a name without being nasty about it. I think they are really sad people.

@Kbroughton. I’m still not buying the Dr Butterball. 😅😅 I’ve googled. There are Dr Butterbaugh’s in the states. That’s pretty close but it’s not Butterball

Nothing 'fundamentally wrong' with the name Cody - we actually have 2 within the extended family, they are both elderly US farmers and apparently nice blokes tho' have only met one of them

As far as I know no-one in the family has honoured them by naming any children Cody - largely I expect because it's a bit of an 'elderly blokes' name [with a touch of the hill-billies about it] and there are IMO many nicer fresher names to chose from

Of course there absolutely are nasty people on MN. Every topic has them. There are people who post relentlessly on Style and Beauty saying it's stupid to care about clothes and it's provincial to buy a new dress for a special occasion dinner. There are people who post on Feminism telling them women don't need rights. And on WLI there are a cadre of people who spend their whole time telling women they should have more willpower and go running instead of taking Ozempic. 🙄

It's, I don't know, the human condition. There's a type of person that just likes to endlessly shit on the interests of other people. It's weird hobby but it seems they will always be with us.

But I don't think that's the same as giving any opinion on baby names, as that's the point of the forum. That's more like on Style and Beauty saying you really don't like the colour of a posted skirt or you think skinny jeans are dated. That's a legitimate engagement with the topic.