To think people should try and be a bit kinder

[Trivie]

I haven’t been using this baby names board for very long however I have noticed that some people are down right horrible to an unnecessary amount.
Of course if someone is asking for opinions on a name and you don’t like it, it’s fine to say that. But why do people spin off into “it’s chavvy” “it’s cruel” etc.
Not only are these responses often classist as any name not rigidly associated with the middle class gets abused but they are also totally dramatic and unnecessary. The same goes for the “I can’t imagine a doctor/lawyer/politician” with that name comments which to at least to me just suggest the commenter is bigoted and narrow minded if they really can’t imagine a lawyer or a doctor with a non-traditional name.
I don’t really understand why people can’t just say “it’s not to my taste how about x name in a similar style”.
I know the internet removes a lot of accountability but I don’t think it would hurt people to remember that the odds are these names do belong to real people or their children, and someone might read how cruel you are being about their name and find that rather hurtful.

Why do people feel the need to be so horrible on this board? Why is it so classist? and what do people get out of making comments akin to a bully instead of politely saying it’s not their favourite and moving on?

I heard “adventure” the other day

Yes I would describe that as “almost child abuse”

Chances are his parents are called Emma and Paul or something similarly utterly normal

I know a Legend. Both parents have normal names.

@KbroughtonDr Butterball?? Are you sure about that one?

I think the baby names board here skews older. There's a hostility towards modern names - I don't mean the bizarrely-spelt celebrity baby names, but names that are just a different style from what was popular in the past. And I've noticed people tend to bring up older cultural references. I remember a post that went something like, you shouldn’t call your son Lionel because other kids will tease him by singing “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”. But… That song is forty years old! I’d be impressed if today’s kids even know who Lionel Richie is!

There is nothing that screams aspirational middle class more than worrying about how people perceive your name choice.
We have a very expensive prep school near us that is filled with children with names Mumsnet would abuse, Cosima, Gigi (multiple of them), Jago, Cosmo, Olympia, Effie etc.
Even just take a look at the telegraph birth announcements, I just had a quick look and there was a Solitaire Star, Ajax, Trixie, Wolf (siblings named Farleigh, Phoenix, Lockie and Star) and Posey just to name a few.
The truly upper/upper middle class couldn’t give a damn what people think of their children’s names and don’t worry that being called Wolf or Solitaire might impede their future success.

We have an Ozzy and a Web . Bloody awful names. Web is going to be called Spider for the whole of his life.

These are rarely traditional working class names though, they're either novel absurdities or fleeting fashions. And people make fun of middle class naming habits too.

There’s nothing wrong with being working class or aspirational middle class or whatever you care to call it.

I do disagree slightly though because I think that the true upper class or “old money” tend to stick with traditional names even if some of them are rare, they still tend to be classic names. Upper middle may be more creative. Though really I don’t know why people would care which names they’d approve of and which names they’d look down upon.

Why bother about other people's, opinion on a name
if you like it that is what matters
you do not need approval for everything you do

Yep, certain! some great names. Dr Whu (pronounced Dr Who) was my fave though.

I wasn’t saying there is anything wrong with being working class or aspirational middle class.

This was intended for those who think naming a child Cosmo or Gigi will give their child future career ruin.

Even if you look at the distant royals (so about as old money as you can get), there is Cosima, Lena, Kit, Cleo or even Prince Harry’s daughter Lilibet.

It’s useful because most people won’t say what they think in real life.

It’s like that moment in that bbc sitcom when normal sister in law asks “what made you choose atlas” then the clueless parents reel off other even worse names on their list and she says “yes in that case its a really good choice” cracks me up!

Agree with this. Harshness is needed. People usually only take offence when they actually needed validating.

These are all hideous

In your opinion.
But what actual affect does it have on your life if someone is called one of those names?

Imagine being called Koazy and then being a larger adult with 'curves'. Absolutely hideous

Actually, it's one board where I think it is a good idea to be honest - so long as the baby hasn't already been named. I'd want to know what people think of the name my child has. As it happens, one of my DC has a family name loathed on MN boards and often ridiculed. I love it but if I had known how unpopular it would be, I might have chosen something else. Luckily DC also likes it but hates their middle name, which is what we'd probably have chosen instead.

Just because your parents wanted to be Unique...

See this is the OPs point...
I cannot figure out what that link between the name Koazy and being "large".
In your head you have obviously made some random link but I doubt anyone else will.

You completely missed my point: Blair and Clinton chose to be commonly known by their diminutive names (although Blair did choose to use other of his names that time when he was arrested by the police).

Even then, I've seen occasions where Clinton has gone by William. He's had the choice, which he wouldn't have had if his parents had officially named him Bill, Will, Willy or whatever.

A name like Jane or Mark, say, whilst short, has long been understood as a complete name in its own right - so that doesn't really bear comparison.

As it happens, I'm very much not middle class. In a way, it's arguably easier for middle-class professional people to swing it being known (and respected) by a pet/cutesy name than it is for WC people in lowly roles.

Tom Fletcher (I think) from McFly was just on BBC Breakfast with his DS Buzz, who seemed very happy and confident. Maybe times have changed, but I can only imagine how that would have been met at my lowly Midlands comp if there had been a kid called Buzz.

😅😅😅 Kodie though! I did lol at that one.

People are giving honest opinions and an insight into how that name will be perceived. It's up to the poster whether they disregard it or take in on board.

It's not only 'chavvy' names that are criticised either, people are told when a name is perceived to be pretentiousness too. I've been known to offer Goneril as a 'great' suggestion when I've thought it was all getting a bit wonky with Shakespeare references.

But was it because of the spelling or the name?
Cody is a perfectly normal name. Would you "lol" at someone called Cody?

Cosy? I got it.