Name regret

[BirdieLots]

I am suffering from huge name regret. Baby is 6 weeks old.
I'm worried that if we change the name, we will be met with judgement from friends and family.
I really regret not using the name I always thought I would have, I feel like I made a silly decision in the midst of post partum hormones, and DH also vetoed the name this time around as felt it was getting too popular. At the time I agreed, but now baby is here I only feel baby is that name and not the one we used.

Thank you @maskandmartini
@Emanwenym I like your response to OP!

@Xmaslover2018 , thanks for saying that. Name regret threads come up often, because I think new mothers are pressurised to give the baby a name almost immediately.

The gov.uk site isn't very clear on how to change a baby's name once it has been registered, but there are several threads on it (several of which are multiple threads from the same user, who will almost certainly be suffering some sort of post-natal mental ill-health).

From what an acquaintance told me,it is straightforward to get the BC amended. The change goes in Section 17 of the BC.
That acquaintance's baby's name had been misspelt (something like changing Pheobe to Phoebe).

A baby of only a few weeks old is probably still 'the Baby'.

Thanks. I'm one of those people with the name regret sadly! Nearly 6 months in now so feeling like it's getting too late!

@Xmaslover2018 , what is the name, and what is the name you wish he was called? Why so you regret giving the name?
It certainly isn't too late - he'll have his name for life.

Change it if you want to. I always regretted not using my dd's middle name as her first name. It hit hard until she was around 2 years old. Years later and I'm mostly over it, but deep down I do think she'd have suited it more and, on the occasions I think about it, still do wish I'd used it as her first name. But nobody else knows and she loves her name so it's not a big deal. But if you think you'll always regret it, it's not too late to change it now.

It's a name that a friend had used for their dog (had i known, i wouldn't have chosen it), and rhymes a bit with our own dogs name "ee" sounding end. While it is an old name from 1920s, I feel it won't age well with her. I cannot agree a new name with partner as we have different tastes.

Is it Phoebe?

I wish baby's name was used as the middle name instead. The current middle name is not the name I would prefer to have either. So annoyed at myself for making a silly decision

Don’t be annoyed with yourself, PG labour and birth are a lot to go through without having to look after a baby and other siblings then come up with a name for your LO.

Don’t worry about the reaction from others, it really doesn’t matter.

If your DH is in agreement change the name and explain to the siblings that this is his new name.

I know someone who did it and I can’t imagine her DD being called anything other than the beautiful name she has now.

Thank you, this is lovely and reassuring. Still in the rut. DH and I have discussed it, just agonising over how to go about it and inform people.

Did you find it weird when the person you knew changed her DD's name at first?

Just do it.
You are over-thinking the telling people.

No I didn’t find it weird at all. It was just a simple “we’ve decided to change our DD’s name to as now we’ve got to know her, we think it suits her much more”.

You don’t need to explain it at all though if you don’t want to though.

If you’re both in agreement on changing the name, use the new name for a few days and see if you still feel the same.

I just changed my baby's name. With me it was just adding a middle name that I'd been too foggy to advocate for at the time. I just texted family something along the lines of: "Now baby is X age, we treated her to a new middle name! We've loved taking the time to choose something that really suits her now we've got to know her better."
I just wanted to keep it breezy, celebratory, but firm. I've had only positive feedback. I have a friend who recently also changed her child's first name at about the same age as yours, and it's really a case of just pulling the plaster off and acting like it isn't a big deal. Which it isn't. They are too young to know and it's not worth going through life regretting.

It was so easy to do at the register office, at ours it cost about £45 (plus £12.50 new birth certificate) and we didn't even need an appointment but if you email or call yours they'll tell you how it works. They were lovely when I went in. It's a very simple form and as stated before the baby's new name goes into section 17 of the new birth certificate, but if you and partner aren't married and subsequently marry, you can get a new BC and the baby's revised name will be in section 2.

If you and DH want to change it, then change it. Other people are not important. They'll get used to it.

Any update on how you're getting on with this OP? @BirdieLots

6 weeks? You’ve barely come up for air. Change it. Tell important family. Then everyone else all at once, via email. It will be a topic of discussion for a few days and then the new name will settle. The big news is that you have a beautiful baby.

Definitely change it if you aren't happy. The sooner the better!
It would certainly be a mistake to not change your DD's name if you dislike it to a name that you are both happy with because you are worried about what someone else might think.

It's a tough one, DH doesn't feel the same way as me about it so it's tricky but my feelings haven't changed at all.

I really still want to change it, but I can't get DH fully on board :(

I know, if it was solely up to me I'd have changed it weeks ago.

You poor thing. It's unfair of him to dig his heels in here, especially as you have just carried your DD, given birth and are full of hormones. I'm sure you can settle on something that you both like so that neither is unhappy.

Just send a text, job done! Honestly it really is no big deal, adults change their name, no one cares let alone a six week old baby.

If he likes the name you want he really should go with your choice as it’s upsetting you so much, I imagine he won’t be distraught as you are now having to call your child a name you actively dislike.

It will make a great story when they get married 😄

Agreed, he has agreed that we can change it but very reluctantly and has made it v clear he doesn't really want to. Which puts me in a difficult position bc I feel like it will cause resentment down the line. He has since made it clear that he doesn't really want to from the initial discussion. Baby is close to 11 wks now so I guess time is getting on. I'd hoped I'd feel better about it but I just don't