Someone talk me out of it...?

[deliwoman1]

I'm this close to messaging a bloke I had a brief fling with over a decade ago to ask if he'd mind if I gave my son the same name as him. 😬 I guess this would put us both in an awkward situation...

The reason I'm thinking of doing it is because it's an uncommon name, and me and this old fling still run in similar circles and have mutual friends. So I think me and DP can't just go ahead and say sod it (he thinks we can!). We truly love the name and think it's perfect with DD's and our odd long surname. I'd forgotten about it until someone suggested it on MN! DP doesn't give a monkeys about the association, but I'm wary of awkwardness and weirdness. Still, I've trawled this chat, and baby name sites, and nothing else comes close...

Message the bloke and risk looking like a nutter, or keep hunting...?

Maybe this is all hormonal! DS will be our last child and we're having such a HARD TIME naming him. I'm lukewarm at best on everything we have shortlisted. To make matters worse we know millions of little boys, and had the perfect name picked out if he'd been a she!

Why do you have to ask him? It’s not like he/his parents made up the name, it’s just rare. I’d go ahead and use it. My cousin had a baby a few years ago and gave her my name, not named after me or anything and didn’t mention it to me or my parents before she was born, it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

Also, what if you ask him and he says no?!! 😄 that would be worse! Just use the name.

Very confused

you don’t need permission from him. He doesn’t own the name!?

Really confused. Just use it

Don't contact him!!

Just use the name.

If you and your dp are happy using the name of an ex then just do it.

Your DP is right, just use the name, he doesn't own it just because it's unusual.

Just use the name if you and DH love it. I doubt it'll ever come up with the old flame but if it does you can just say baby's named after a distant relative on DH's side.

You'd look a complete weirdo and he'll think (and tell people) you're harbouring a crush on him.

What's the name? Bet it's not that unusual unless he's called Spartacus or something

This is kind of what I'm worried about! He's barely an ex tbh, but we worked together for a few years, hence the mutual friends. It'd get back to him, eventually. But you know, people would also get over it!

I think it's one of those unicorn names: uncommon but not outlandish, which is what we're looking for. It's genuinely rare. I've only met/heard of one. Was so shocked when someone on MN put it in my head as an option.

Just style it out with OMG I'd completely forgotten about him! It was just a great name we both liked from a baby name book. Haha, how funny etc etc

What is it?

Just use the name. Don't overthink it.

Do NOT message him!
What's the name??

REALLY want to know the name!

Do not message. Very strange. What are you even expecting he'd say?!

You love it so use it!

But agree with everyone else. If you love it I think it's fine. Do not ask him.

It's more just having to explain it after the fact when I inevitably run into him at some work thing. Or, even worse, having someone else tell him 'oh you know Deliwoman from X? She named her kid after you. You two dated right? So weird.' At least if he already knew he'd be able to say, yeah, she told me!

These threads are utter shite unless you tell us the name

Use it and don't ask.

If you're worried what people will think, find out the name's meaning, or an inspirational person with that name, or make up a great great uncle with the name, and say that's why you picked it.

Is it Balonz? Or Jimberley?

What is the name?

But as above.. don't message him.

Okay, okay. 😂It's Tarn. As in small mountain lake. Unless people are from a super hilly or lake-y place (DP is, another reason it's perfect) they probably wouldn't have heard of it. I guess it's a bit like calling a kid River or Forest, but way less common. Still, it doesn't sound crazy or too boho to me. Maybe because of the sound it makes and because it's so short.

I think there are other reasons not to call your child Tarn

Tarn….?

Poor little sod.

All that for Tarn?

Just use it. Really not a big deal.