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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child

122 replies

lisacam · 08/03/2008 00:41

My Sister has called her baby the same name as my child and I can?t understand why? My husband is very annoyed and he can?t believe she or her husband did not mention it before. The week before the birth we were all talking about possible names but her husband stated they had some ideas but did not want other people?s opinions. I love my sister but I can?t help feeling confused and emotional.

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amytheearwaxbanisher · 08/03/2008 00:44

thats a bit odd is it a family name?maybe on his side that they wanted to use regardless

Kindersurpise · 08/03/2008 00:47

That is strange, I can understand you not being pleased.

We liked the name Philip but DH's sister already has a Philip so we never really considered it.

Has she told you why?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/03/2008 00:51

awww. It's kind of flattering really!

I dont think it's a huge problem, in the scheme of things. Take it as a compliment

TinkerbellesMum · 08/03/2008 01:02

I'd be annoyed. I was pregnant with the one I MC a few weeks behind my SIL and they kept saying the names we were talking about, so we decided to wait. Then I got pregnant with Lily-Hope while she was still pregnant and it was the same. In the end they used a name I have wanted since I was a child! But I still think we got the better name!

EiWishFor3MoreWishes · 08/03/2008 01:20

OMG i would be annoyed definitely are you close with your sister?? if my sister did this to me it would cause major problems as i think that with ALL the millions of names out there what possible reason has she got to deliberately call her child the same name as your DC!! have you asked her about it?? i wouldnt be able to help myself (maybe wait a few days for her to get settled with her new baby and all for sensitivitys sake but try and have a discussion about it before she gets a chance to register her DC in that name.
XX ei xx

egypt · 08/03/2008 02:23

this is very strange indeed, and i think i would be q pissed off for a while, but at the end of the day, it isn't going to hurt anyone. they will become known and 'your dc' and 'my dc' when you talk about them, and who knows they may be very close because of it. there's nothing you can do about it now so may as well accept and look at the positives.

maybe the dad was being a bit pushy and she was inside, hoping for the other sex so it wouldn't happen and never wanted to tell you just in case she never needed to. she's probably squirming inside a bit too but wants the name so much.

Buda · 08/03/2008 06:33

My sis did this but not to me - called her DS the same name as BIL's sis's DS. They said it was the only name they could agree on! Not sure how her SIL felt!

Now my nephew is 9 and likes the fact that he has the same name as his older cousin.

meemar · 08/03/2008 06:43

I think it's one of those things that initially seems like a huge deal, but eventually it will seem completely normal and the cousins will have nicknames like Big X and Little X, and it will all be quite sweet and ok.

We have 2 boys and discussed girls names we liked during both pgs. This week my SIL who is now pg told me they were going to call the baby Maya if it was a girl, which was the name we had chosen for a daughter. Even though we don't have a girl I still felt a bit put out

Maybe if we do have a daughter I might call her Maya anyway just to annoy her

WallOfSilence · 08/03/2008 07:13

Why would anyone do this?

I know I would never do it.
Even when we liked the name Daniel for ds my sister asked me to think about it as it was her son's second name! I hadn't even remembered. Well, you don't really use second names do you?

Is it a common name though? I think I would be miffed as ds's name is unusual around the area we live in, so to have 2 in the same family would annoy me.

Do you live near each other? Are you close?

harpsichordcarrier · 08/03/2008 07:18

oh sorry you are upset Lisa
I don't think you should read too much into it though, unless you have reason to believe that she has chosen it to upset you, which if yuo think about it logically is pretty unlikely, isn't it?
she probably just likes the name, and if anything it is a compliment to your taste.
tbh it is pretty common for cousins to have the same name, I can think of three examples in my family off the top of my head. it isn't all that confusing in RL in fact.

NotQuiteCockney · 08/03/2008 07:20

I wouldn't be bothered about a cousin having my kids second name as his first name - I know because DS1's second name is his cousin's first name.

Having the same first name is a bit weird, though. I'm sure you'll all get used to it, though - you can't really argue with someone else's name choice.

abigaillockhart · 08/03/2008 07:24

Very strange. We wanted Isabella but my SIL's sister named her baby that. I thought it would be strange for my nephews to have two cousins of the same name even though she is no relation at all to me and I will probably only meet her a handful of times.

ladytophamhatt · 08/03/2008 07:25

Although I can see why you'd be annoyed I don't think its really that much of a big deal.

Is it a very unusal name?

My 4 dsses have really normal names (all in the top 20 boys names iirc) so I think I'd be silly to be annoyed if it was me.
Take it as a compliment..

SecondhandRose · 08/03/2008 07:26

Bit odd for the grandparents too.

abigaillockhart · 08/03/2008 07:29

I guess it depends how close you are. I spend a lot of time with my sister and her family so it would be weird.

ipanemagirl · 08/03/2008 07:38

I would be appalled if my sister did that unless there was some overwhelming reason like her DH's family having a trad of the name or something. I would at least expect some explanation. Can there be varied nicknames that might be acceptable?
Very very odd imo!

kinki · 08/03/2008 07:39

It wouldn't have taken much to talk to you beforehand. I really liked my nephew's middle name for years and for a while it was the main contender for ds3. So I spoke to my brother and sil about it. And I asked them to tell me honestly how they feel about it. The last thing I'd want is for them to be unhappy or quietly seething about it. But they got back to me to say they would be happy, and took it as a compliment that we had chosen the same name. As it happened, we ended up using a different name.

I agree about the grandparents. Weird for them having two grandchildren with the same name.

Nobody will take away from you the fact that your child is older and you named him/her first.

hatrick · 08/03/2008 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

branflake81 · 08/03/2008 07:43

So what? Don't see the big deal tbh. There are worse things in life to be upset about.

CantSleepWontSleep · 08/03/2008 07:44

I'm sure there was another thread recently where the same thing happened.

I do think it's weird to do this. I can understand a friend doing it (you might not be friends forever), but not a sister. Very strange.

Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about it.

What is the name - common or not?

Bouncingturtle · 08/03/2008 07:53

My 2 step sister have a boy each with the same name, and it is a fairly unusual one. I think it is plain weird - the fact they've used the same name, not the name itself.
So no, YANBU. No idea how my 2 stepsisters think, though! They may like it!

ladytophamhatt · 08/03/2008 07:59

ohhh, reading kinkis post about asking to use teh name and then not. if that was someone asking me and then they didn't I'd be really offended.
That would annoy me alot more then someone using it.

Huh, funny ole' world isn't it??

ladytophamhatt · 08/03/2008 07:59

ummmm, not sure of that makes any semse but I think you'll understand....

Slouchy · 08/03/2008 08:03

This is pretty annoying and a bit odd IMO.
However, the boys will prob like it - I have 2 cousins with the same name and they were/are very close friends. They were always known as and when we were kids.

(It happened cos one of them was adopted and came into the family with that name already IYKWIM)

kinki · 08/03/2008 08:22

Yeah, see what you mean LTH, but I'm sure no offence was caused. This name was also the name db was going to be called had our mum had her own way. So really it always felt like it was 'theirs' anyway. The reason we didn't go with it ultimately was because it starts with the same sound as our surname (initials ck) and even they agreed it was a bit k-k sounding. So I see where you're coming from, but I'm sure it was smiles all round. I hope.

Oh and ds1 has db's name as a middle name. He's my twin, and I wanted to name him after him. Cos he's great.

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