Sister about to use my name

[tsapas]

Sister pregnant with a boy and on her short list of three names is Theodore. She's keeping the name picked a surprise.

I only want one child and I have always wanted to call them Theodore/Theadora.

I didn't react when she told me her list. She doesn't know this was the name I was wanting.

I know she got there first so has the right to use but is it worth me telling her that it is the name I want so heads up, if she uses it I will likely too. With a slight hope this will influence her to pick another?

Has your partner agreed on Theodore too? For when you get pregnant and have a baby?

I don't think it would be the end of the world if two cousins had the same name, especially if they had different surnames. However, there's only a 2 in 3 chance she will use the name you like, and it doesn't sound as if you're expecting a baby imminently so you may even grow to love a different name. I wouldn't worry about this too much just yet.

I would just like to mention that the female version is usually spelt Theodora, not Theadora, although people do occasionally seem to use Thea (which can also be an independent name) as a short form.

Theodore is so popular that I'm not surprised you've both independently had the idea to use the name. You can tell her you like the name, but with no expectation that she will change her mind or no resentment if she goes for it anyway. She is pregnant and naming an actual baby. You might never have a child. You might have a child and decide that when it comes to it, Theodore/a isn't the name.

No. It isn’t ‘your’ name, leave her be.

Also there are a million Theo and Theodores and a lot of Theodoras so it will be quite tired very shortly and you may not want to use it later.

This ^
Unless you’re doing it on your own you’ll have to compromise.

My DH has two first cousins with the same first name as him. There were just some names that MIL and her siblings seemed to like having 'in the family'. No one cared.

You're being ridiculous if you're even considering telling your sister that that's YOUR name and would she consider not using it... even though you're not pregnant and have never mentioned the name to her before!

Please don't mention it to your sister. Some likely scenarios are:

• She agrees not to use it then you change your mind and don't use it anyway, or don't have a boy. She might regret not using it then.

• She uses it anyway, you feel hurt.

If you don't mention it, there's a good chance she won't use it anyway! And if she does use it then you know it was her favourite name too so she has just as much right as you to pick it.

Nothing wrong with two cousins with the same name.

If she uses the name, you pick something else. Your child will not appreciate having the same name as a cousin.

This. If and when you become pregnant is the time to choose a name for your child. And please give him/her their OWN name - they deserve it

I think a lot is wrong actually. Names are meant to identify us and having two grandchildren with the same defeats the purpose.

My brother tried to do this: told me the name I picked for my daughter was similar to a name he wanted to pick if/when he has a daughter. I ignored him and proceeded to use the name.

And you never know - she might not even go with the name Theodore/Theodora.

@Pinkdafodils , They'll probably have different surnames and different middle names.
There are plenty of families where a child has the same name as a parent.
There were duplicated full names in the same school year when I was in high school.

You can’t just choose one of the most popular names in England and Wales with several thousands of other kids called the same or diminutive every year and declare it’s yours. I mean, there will be another on your street and another in the class and another at swimming and another at the doctors surgery and another in their shared house at uni and three in their team at work and their whole lives they will need to deal with that.

Choose a name that fulfils the function of a name - to differentiate from other human beings!!

Just because some parents choose to give their children duplicate names doesn't make it right imo. There are SO many great names to choose from, thousands, and I feel that everyone deserves their 'own' name, certainly within a family!

I have three first cousins with the same name as me. It never bothered me. The only place I have ever seen or heard the name hysteria is on Mumsnet.

Are you pregnant, or even in a serious relationship where you are planning children? What will you do if your partner doesn't like Theodore / Theadora?!

Depends on the family. I have the same name as my cousin and it's never been an issue. I've met her about three times in my life, she lives on the other side of the country. I actually wouldn't recognise her if I bumped in to her in the street. I couldn't care less that she has my name. So do loads of other people I see far more regularly.

You may never have a child so you are being unreasonable.

Hate to break it to you but BabyDaddy will likely want a say in the naming of your hypothetical child and he may veto Theodore/Theodora. I know my names were Noped and had to compromise.

You could subtly try to sway her away from the name by playing the chipmunks song that goes "Alvin, Simon, THEODORE! Doop doop, doo doo da doop" and she might think its less attractive as an option?

My sister and I had the same name for a boy. Years ago we discussed it, I jokingly said "well it's a race for who gets a boy then!". We ended up pregnant at the same time (her first, my second). She knew she was having a boy and I didn't know what I was having. I knew she would use the name and I was happy for her to. I gave birth 3 weeks before her and know she would have been devastated if I used the name, in the end I had boys names I preferred anyway but it ended up a non-issue because I had another girl.

My point is, she may well end up using it and there's nothing you can do about it - you're not even pregnant by the sounds of it.

Rejoice that you will love the name of your nephew, should you be lucky enough to have one.
The most you can say is "Oh Theodore is gorgeous. It has always been my favourite."
Choose another name when your time comes.
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I have two cousins with the same (relatively common) boy's name. Their mums are sisters. I have never understood why the second one didn't pick a different name. There are lots of us as a group of cousins so it's not just like there's two boys with the same name and nobody else in the generation but still. The younger has one has been 'Little X' his entire life and he's now a 6 ft 3 adult man!!

I would just choose another name without saying anything. There's so many lovely names out there.

Me and my sister both have a boys name we love- we've said it's whoever gets there first has it and we're both happy with that. I don't get why you didn't tell her it's your fave name?

I am so sick of this "you can't have the same band rule"

NOBODY OWNS A NAME!!

my sister called her firstborn after our dearly departed father, the name I had planned to use for my son if I ever had one! I did and I chose the name I wanted - The same name! It doesn't matter and we are both happy, honestly only idiots get upset about someone "stealing" their baby name.

Mention you like the name and plan to use it by all means, nothing wrong with being honest.