Using a name family don't like

[TisforTucan]

Has anyone used a name family didn't like? I really like a name Beau. Its unusual so I was on the fence until I've met two children named the same. Baby would have a traditional middle name but I can't find anything else I like.

Family members have said they didn't like it straight away and OH doesn't hate it (he didn't name the last two 🤣). Help!

OP, I know you and many others like it, but do you really think it's wise to call your child something that will make it awkward for them to travel in much of Europe and various other places worldwide?

I think I would be a bit pissed off if I couldn't travel to several major countries including some of the nearest ones, or learn French at school, without people sniggering at my name.

I don't think Beau will stand the test of time in the UK either. It'll be one of those daft fad names that was briefly popular for a few years, and which a lot of the people who were called it will stop using and go by their (hopefully less embarrassing) middle name instead. I don't get why you'd knowingly lumber a child with it.

Just to give you an idea. The French are by no means immune to trendy, modern or American sounding names.

According to the latest stats, 500 baby boys born in France last year were named Jayden. There's a Jayden in my son's crèche. (And also a Kayden.) I'd say these were fairly equivalent names to Beau in the UK.

The number of babies (boys or girls) named Beau in France last year was fewer than three. That probably means it was zero. It's just that they don't collect statistics on names used fewer than three times.

So yes, if a child named Beau travels to France, or God forbid ever wants to live there or has to go to a professional meeting there, people are going to laugh.

So yes, if a child named Beau travels to France, or God forbid ever wants to live there or has to go to a professional meeting there, people are going to laugh.

That's their problem. They should grow up.

But it's not their problem.

It's the person with the daft name that has the problem.

No it's the immature bullies who have the problem.

You're living in cloud cuckoo land.

Imagine you had a stupid name. Say your name was Will Anker or Tom Watts, and people kept sniggering at the fact that your name spells W-Anker or T-wat. Or imagine you're not from the UK and your name is (or is very similar to) a word like "sexy" or "smelly".

People will laugh at your name, and yeah, maybe that makes them "immature bullies", but they will forget about you five minutes later and get on with their day. You will probably get the same thing again five more times today, and also every other day until you either move to a non English speaking country or change your name.

It is very definitely your problem, not anyone else's.

This thread has escalated somewhat. Am I correct in understanding that the entire sovereign nation of France is being instructed to ‘grow up’?

Well I have a petite brunette son who has been described so many times, even medical professionals have described him as petite. I understand they are gendered in French, but in English we use petite and brunette for both sexes.
Its a daft comparison to a name anyway because loads of names that began as gendered names are not anymore. Language evolves and we can use any name we see fit.

Well, you do you.

But personally if I knew that calling my child a particular name could cause problems for them in later life, I wouldn't do it.

Yes. Which is Just as ridiculous that Everyone in France will laugh at a woman called Beau.
I know of many gendered Welsh names that have been used for the ‘wrong’ sex.
The footballer Rhian Brewster.
A man I know called Rhisian.
Every female Bronwyn, Heulwyn, Eowyn…as -wyn is a masculine ending.
I don’t laugh about it though, I just get on with my day.

what problems? It isn’t going to be a problem except when people like you make it one.

@TheOriginalEmu , the people describing your DS as a petite brunette must be pretty weird.
The footballer is mixed race and Rhian is an african boy's name
Bronwyn and Heulwyn are weird spellings but not adjectives. (Stoat and Sunshine misspelt, I think). I can't think of what Eowyn could be in Welsh but it's from LOTR and not misspelt

Beau for a girl is as wrong as Belle for a boy.

It's going to be a problem every time they encounter someone who thinks their name is hilarious, which is going to happen all the time if they happen to be in a French speaking country.

And it's going to be their problem, not the problem of the people who think the name is stupid.

I'd take the "it's their problem" approach if it were something my kid had no control over, like having a birth mark. But I wouldn't deliberately create the problem.

Right because this has got pure ridiculous I just want to make one thing clear, I never asked advice on my name, I don't care what you think (or europe.. or the French think) I was asking opinions on how families acted with names others named their children. He will have a traditional middle name like my other children (who both have traditional names). Hope this clears things up as to be honest I thought my thread had died already.

@babyjellyfish Then he has a strong English middle name and he uses that? I'll be honest with 3 kids and currently renovating a house we don't plan on traveling Europe yet with him 😂. Might visit Disneyland Paris when he's 3 or 4 to appreciate it with my other children but gosh I'll have to use his middle name while we are there as the French might throw stones at him.

Clearly you're determined to use this silly name, OP, and no one can stop you.

But I feel sorry for your kid. It will be limiting for him if he wants to travel, and you're willing to dump that hassle on him later down the line just because you like the name.

If you had no idea why the name could cause problems and you used it, well, that would be unfortunate, but it couldn't be helped.

You do know, because you've got people explaining it to you, and you want to use the name anyway just because you like it, suggesting that it's other people's problem if they don't like your name.

No it isn't other people's problem. It'll be your kid's problem.

Now maybe if you raise a kid with pretty narrow horizons who either has no interest in or not enough money to ever travel abroad, it won't matter. But if your kid is ambitious, wants to travel, wants to live abroad, wants to do the kind of job where he is working in an international environment or even just working with educated people, being named Beau is likely to be a source of embarrassment.

But hey, you think your fondness for the name is more important than those things. Can't fathom it myself.

I don't know why you are so invested? You are making a load of assumptions here on what? Do you know his future? What if he never ever sets foot in France?! I just don't understand why you are so obsessed with the thought of my son traveling to France lol.. bizarre.

I don't need people to explain it to me because I didn't ask and you seem to be the only person that invested in the name. Did you read my initial post? Clarification here - Yes, it is my choice and no (again) I didn't ask for your opinion on the name. If you are that bent out of shape go make a thread about Beau's not being able to visit France or Europe.

By the way, my DH travelled the world, lived in places where people spoke different languages, and he had a version of a name in a different language (think Scottish, Welsh ect) . So I can actually inform you that his name caused him no issue, not once did his name come up when he was schooled abroad, only the colour of his skin. We both know very well first hand what it is like and the only people to pick up on it were school children.

I'd also like to think i raise strong enough children to ignore petty people who do not judge them on their name.

No, your son might never travel to France or a French speaking country. Maybe he'll never leave the town where he is born. But why limit him in this way before he's even here?

The reason I'm invested is because I live in France and I'm telling you that every French speaker he meets will find his name utterly stupid. Some will be too polite to say so, so they'll just think it. Some will say it out loud, which will be incredibly irritating for him.

It's not at all comparable to having a foreign name. I live with a foreign name in France. People can't pronounce it, which is annoying enough, but I live with it.

It's not the same as having a random word in the local language as your first name, not even because that word happens to be a legitimate name in your own country, but because your parents were daft and thought it sounded cool.

But if you insist on inflicting this name on your child, neither I nor anyone else can stop you.

And you shouldn't need to raise a child "strong enough" to ignore the obvious and predictable comments he will get about the stupid name you gave him, when the alternative option is to just...not give him a stupid name in the first place.

Of course it would be the problem of grown people who are so immature as to find a girl with a masculine-ish name ‘hilarious’.
what a weird way to behave.

Fingers crossed he never meets anyone who is as narrow minded and outspokenly rude as you I guess? Will also make a mental note to avoid Paris incase and go Disneyland Florida 😂

Maybe now you've 'educated' me you can go message Joe Biden on the choice of his late son's name too? I'm not interested anymore.

It's neither here nor there whether you think I'm narrow minded or rude, because tons of other people (including the entire populations of certain countries) will think the same thing.

Unless you're planning to raise him on an uninhabited island, of course he will meet some of them.

Bronwyn and Heulwyn are not misspellings, they are perfectly normal names. They are strongly gendered in Welsh. It is no different to Beau being gendered in French. I have met many a female Bronwyn and I managed to contain myself at the hilarity 👀 because I’m not 3 years old.
Rhian Brewster’s name is not African. I have no idea where you dreamed that up from.

If you met someone whose name was "Sexy" you'd probably smirk at that, at least in private. Don't pretend otherwise.

Bronwyn and Heulwyn are names of Welsh origin so wouldn't shout that too loudly particularly in small villages in Wales 😂

I know two Bronwyn and one Heulwyn.

My Goddaughter is a Beau, it's a lovely name