People's comments on my son's names

[Petmalex]

I have two sons, a just-turned 3 year old called Jason and a 4 month old called Robert/Robbie.

When we introduced Robbie to Jason's nursery teacher and my health visitor, they both commented 'oh, like Take That'. I shrugged it off to begin with but I can't seem to shake this horrible feeling I get that I can't really describe... Perhaps someone can put some words/sense to it. Everyone around me thinks I'm being ridiculous and overthinking it. Jason was named because his name means to heal (we lost a baby prior to him at 23 weeks in my pregnancy and we lost a baby at 24 weeks after him but before Robbie) so Jason really has been my healer to get through some very dark times. Both my partner and I loved the name Robbie and agreed on it. And since learned that it means 'bright fame/glory'. My Robert is the brightness after the darkness of our most recent loss. However, since these Take That comments, I've been really struggling to call him Robbie without being reminded of Take That. I'm mid 30s and the comments were made by women who would remember Take That. I'm not really into music so didn't think of it. They are both traditional, normal names that can't be changed. My mindset needs to change but I've tried for months now and I can't seem to move past it. I'm hoping that by sharing this here someone will offer some insight as to why I feel this way, why I'm taking it so seriously and why it upsets me so much. Like my living sons are so special and unique but someone has mocked it/making their names common and not unique (Jason's teacher doesn't know of our losses but my health visitor does so should have known better). Thank you for reading. I do suffer from anxiety and intermittent depression so perhaps these comments were made during my baby blues stage.

It doesn't sound to me as though the comments were made in a mocking fashion. It was just an instant pop culture reference that popped into their heads. I'm sure they had no idea it's something you'd mull on and see as a negative.

You chose the names because you love them and they have meaning. Focus on that. But if you find negative feelings start to overwhelm you, please speak to someone.

Congratulations on the arrival of Robbie

Well you could avoid this by going with Bobby / Robert or Jay /Jase. But why should you. Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has got one but you don't necessarily want to hear it.

Anyone making a take that reference just ignore.

I think sometimes (from my own experience anyway) anxiety over baby names can be a sign of pnd. I obsessed a lot about my first ds’s name and overthought every comment made. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I def did and I can now see it was due to pnd/ anxiety. Your beautiful boys are special and unique, their names are gorgeous and have meaning. The take that reference wouldn’t occur to me either, and I doubt it would most people! Enjoy your boy, their names are perfect. So sorry for your losses too.

Robert is a lovely traditional name, and Robbie is a sweet nickname. I'm in my mid-30s and wouldn't have made any obvious connection. I think at this point, most names can be connected to a famous person character, and people may just comment with the first one they can think of to make conversation.

It doesn't sound like a negative thing for them to mention, so I would maybe have a chat with a professional about this - fixating on usually minor things about your baby can be a sign of PND - and they could help you with techniques to see comments like this as someone showing interest in your baby/you name inspiration rather than anything insidious.

Robbie Williams would not be my first thought on meeting a baby called Robert. I’m just the right age to remember Take That!

I’d think “cute baby, great name, not overdone, but everyone knows it”. My 30 year old DNeph is a Robert. He’s had lots of nicknames - including Bertie as a baby. This is a sweet cartoon about Roberts.

I'm sorry you've been so upset by this and I'm incredibly sorry for your losses.

I'm not sure I can help much, I had no idea of the meanings of the names (despite a god son Jason & a brother Robert).

Both are pretty standard, fairly traditional names. Though not commonly used at the moment.

I'm 53 & didn't automatically think 'take that', but then again I'm not into 'groups'.

i think you just have to ignore the comments, people always say something & it's often daft!

You & DH love their names, they're perfectly acceptable names, just think 'twat' & move on 💐

Can’t make a photo attach, Google “life stages of Robert”

I think you are over thinking it. Its just an association. The same if you had a keira, people might say like keira knightly?

People aren't making an opinion or commenting negatively. Its not a negative connection like Fred and Rose

People aren't trying to be offensive or insulting

I dont think its necessarily a bad thing, some people will think of Take That when they hear both names together same if you had a John and a Paul some people would think of the Beatles. Both of my sons have names from the Old Testament a few people have said "oh like in the Bible" when I have told them their names but it doesn't mean its everyone's first thought and as they get older and join different hobbies, have different groups of friends the less likely people are to learn both their names at the same time so less likely to make the connection.

God this has reminded me, we call DS a nickname for his birth certificate name. Another mum said to me "oh, I think of them as two different names ..." I obsessed over this for hours and hours. I could not get over that we had perhaps given him the wrong name.

I think PP is right that people don't mean anything by it. I would just respond with "ha ha ha, I'm not a fan, it's just a coincidence"

I’m so sorry for your losses.

I do think you are giving these comments far too much credence.

It was just the first thought that popped into people’s minds, they vocalised it, and then would have instantly forgotten about it.

They haven’t even done anything wrong by saying it - it was just their association and it isn’t a negative one. Other people might say the same thing, but there’s nothing wrong with it.

Most people younger than that will not have the association. And believe me, Robert / Robbie far transcends any association with someone who was famous in the 90s.

Very gently, and with the best intentions, you are giving this far too much headspace.

Enjoy your beautiful boys. 💐

Robert is an excellent name op, you should be proud. I think the comments you got were a coincidence, and perhaps hit you at a sensitive time and you’ve blown them out of proportion in your mind? Just speaking as someone who gets anxious and does the same sometimes.

I certainly don’t think about Take That when hearing Robbie/Robert and I’m of that age too. I know someone with a baby Robert and it’s never occurred to me.

unless you choose something random your baby will share his name with others. It doesn’t matter. People are unique because of who they are not their name.

Jason and Robbie together did make me think Take That if I’m being honest but you know the beautiful meanings behind your boy’s names (as does anyone close to you I assume) so don’t worry about it. They won’t be Jason and Robbie all of their lives either, once they’re a bit bigger they’ll be known much more independently and then the Take That association isn’t anywhere near as obvious.

Doesnt sound like anyone is mocking your name choice at all. The comments you made about your children do make me a little concerned for your mental health atm though. You should be the strength of your children, not the other way round. That’s a oressure children should not have

I think it was a rude thing for them to say and that’s why you’re reacting to it with a strong emotion. I get they may be take that fans and that’s their main association, but it is still an impolite response when someone introduces their baby for the first time. I’m trying to think of a good analogy and I can’t so here are some terrible analogies:
”Hey look at this cake I made!” “Eh, looks like Jane’s cake.”
”Welcome to my new home!” “It’s just like Terry’s house.”

Instant comparisons are simply rude, that’s why you’re annoyed.

If anyone else says it, just say, 'Oh, you're showing your age!'

As long as you don't have a 3rd son called Gary I don't think it's a problem.

I’m so sorry for your losses, the names are nice but as a child of the 90s I do think a certain group would always think Take That. Does it matter though? I’m assuming your husband isn’t a Gary, Mark or Howard!

I'm 35, Take That/Robbie Williams are most definitely part of the pop culture I grew up in. However, I used to work with a man called Robbie and never once associated the name with Robbie Williams.. I guess people think of different things with different names, or perhaps the people who said Robbie Williams were fans of his, and therefore it was a compliment.
I understand this must be annoying though!

I was about 15/16 at the height of Take That fame and I didn’t make the connection.

Those are two lovely names.

To be honest, my first thought on meeting two boys called Jason & Robbie would be ‘Take That’. Just as my first thoughts on meeting two girls called Emma & Victoria would be ‘Spice Girls’. That’s just an inevitable consequence of the ubiquity of those celebrities in popular culture.
I would expect the parents who chose to give those names to their children to be fully aware of & prepared for that, and if they were not I would be inclined to ask : ‘What did they expect’?

I actually didn't make the connection at all, even after you said it and I'm peak take that era. I assumed they were just referring to Robbie Williams, didn't even occur to me that Jason was part of the band.
Jason and Robert/Robbie are lovely names and they are YOUR gorgeous babies. Honestly don't give it a second thought. Robbie is cute on a child but Robert is strong on an adult and it's also an underused name, and you like the meanings, great choice.

I do sympathise as comments about my baby's name really affected me when he was a baby, I think the post natal period can make you very sensitive. I love his name now and wouldn't change it. Try to put the thoughts out of your mind and enjoy this precious time.

My DS is 4 and he's a Robbie (also full name Robert). It's a FAB name (although I obviously would think that) and no one has ever, ever mentioned Take That to me. There are very few other baby Roberts around, amidst a million James's, Charlies, etc so you get the uniqueness without going for a 'yoo-nique' name.

I wouldn't think twice about those silly comments. Your children's names are great and have a lot of meaning for you, and that's all that matters.

I would expect the parents who chose to give those names to their children to be fully aware of & prepared for that, and if they were not I would be inclined to ask : ‘What did they expect’?

That doesn’t really make sense.

If they weren’t aware of the connection, then how could they ‘expect’ anything?

I didn’t even realise there was a Take That member called Jason until this thread.

Sorry but what does the "take that'' mean?