People's comments on my son's names

[Petmalex]

I have two sons, a just-turned 3 year old called Jason and a 4 month old called Robert/Robbie.

When we introduced Robbie to Jason's nursery teacher and my health visitor, they both commented 'oh, like Take That'. I shrugged it off to begin with but I can't seem to shake this horrible feeling I get that I can't really describe... Perhaps someone can put some words/sense to it. Everyone around me thinks I'm being ridiculous and overthinking it. Jason was named because his name means to heal (we lost a baby prior to him at 23 weeks in my pregnancy and we lost a baby at 24 weeks after him but before Robbie) so Jason really has been my healer to get through some very dark times. Both my partner and I loved the name Robbie and agreed on it. And since learned that it means 'bright fame/glory'. My Robert is the brightness after the darkness of our most recent loss. However, since these Take That comments, I've been really struggling to call him Robbie without being reminded of Take That. I'm mid 30s and the comments were made by women who would remember Take That. I'm not really into music so didn't think of it. They are both traditional, normal names that can't be changed. My mindset needs to change but I've tried for months now and I can't seem to move past it. I'm hoping that by sharing this here someone will offer some insight as to why I feel this way, why I'm taking it so seriously and why it upsets me so much. Like my living sons are so special and unique but someone has mocked it/making their names common and not unique (Jason's teacher doesn't know of our losses but my health visitor does so should have known better). Thank you for reading. I do suffer from anxiety and intermittent depression so perhaps these comments were made during my baby blues stage.

Don't take it to heart OP! Yes it's quite a strong association for those who remember the 90s but it's not a bad one in any way- Take That are a happy connection for a lot of people and I don't think any of them have done anything particularly wrong over the years. Every time someone mentions it just Smile.

If you say the words Jason and Robbie to any woman who was a pre-teen/teen/20s in the nineties it will automatically make her think “ah yes, and Mark, Gary and Howard.

Take That are a big part of British culture. They were huge.

If you had chosen Jason and Mark it wouldn’t be so recognisable but Robbie is like the Ringo of Take That it’s distinctive.

I know you have been through a hard time and you have all these sentimental reasons why you chose the names and that’s fine. They are your sons and you can call them whatever you like - people will always find associations - If you’d called him Bruno everyone would be saying ah! Like Bruno Mars or they’d burst into song….

Just call your son by his name - Robert - if it bothers you that much, you won’t get the same associations… or Bob, Bobbie, Rob, Bertie, Bert….

Also I am pretty sure I can't seem to shake this horrible feeling I get that I can't really describe is very similar to some take that lyrics… wracking brain now and I now have Pray on loop in my head… argh

Also, I think it upsets me because I don't want people to think I've named my children after a 'cheesy' boyband.

I wouldn’t have made the connection but I’m old.
The people who would make the connection I would think are fans so it’s not a negative connection.

p.s. @Petmalex

Somebody else said

it honestly says more about them and their cultural reference points than it does about you or your boys or their names.

This is so true - nobody that your boys will grow up with and hardly any of their mothers will know the names of Take that members…. Or make a big deal out of it…. I am sure there are countless brothers called Harry and Niall or Louis and Liam without being bombarded with 1D references….. fewer Zayns…

Take that fans were a special breed though, I still remember their birthdays….

At least it is a positive association - anyone who hears the names may be reminded of very happy times!

Your boys are just perfect as they are, I went through losses too and there was a lot of thought and meaning put into DC names - we had to add an extra one when realised the initials spelt a terrorist organisation 🥴

Enjoy Jason and Robbie xx

It depends what way you look at it Progress fastest selling album in 21st century, RW album 30th best selling of all time… showing my colours now 😉

I mean they were hardly Chico off of the ex factor now were they or 911 or shudder East 17 eek!

Seriously, name choice up to you and as another poster says if somebody says it again and it bothers you just say “ah you’re showing your age now aren’t you” x

I wasn’t a take that fan but thought of them when I started reading.
Despite not being a fan I wouldn’t mock you or assume that you named them after the band.

I am really sorry for your losses.

You haven't named them after a boyband though. Other people can think what they want to think. You can't do anything about it.

Just think of some dismissive responses.

No, I didn't.
Never heard of them.
I'm only 27.
No, we liked the meanings.
What are your children called?
Sorry, have to hurry you. We are off to buy a yacht.

You're massively ovethinking this. Plenty of men/boys called robert/Robbie. I'm over 60 and I've known males called Jason and Robbie decades before anyone heard of Take That!!

I wouldn’t have thought that you’d named them after the band either…. Honestly there are associations for everything…

To comfort you here are the top ten boys names in UK according to google and some associations…

Oliver Twist
Jack the Ripper
Noah and the arc
Leo nardo da Vinci/DiCaprio
Thomas the Tank Engine
George Ezra/Prince George
Daniel Craig
Ethan Hawke
Benjamin Button
Alexander the Great

Other popular names
Harry Enfield/Prince Harry
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Sebastian crab off of The Little Mermaid
Freddie Krueger

It’s just an association, it doesn’t mean anything.

People are going to mention it. Sorry you didn't know before but it will come naturally for the rest of your life. Just learn to be okay with that.

I immediately thought of Take That when I saw the names together.

I wasn't a fan but some of my slightly younger friends were.

They were and are a fascinating boy band. For any band to last long they can't be cheesy.

I absolutely love Jason. If it wasn't a family members name already and I didn't have daughters, I would name my son Jason. Robbie is very cute and was on my list before we found out we were having girls. Gorgeous names. Say them with pride and confidence.

I've never heard of "Take That" because I'm not in the UK but Jason and Robert are timeless lovely names for what it's worth. Jason make me think of Greek mythology.....much firmer roots and foundations than some passing show.

Notably someone started a thread a few wks back about calling daughter Alabama Rayne…. I haven’t quite got over that..

Alabama is name of Travis Barker’s daughter and Reign the name of Kourtney Kardashian’s son…. So obviously a KUWTK fan….

So much worse things for names to be associated with!

You won’t get mocked for TT

Honestly, if you met two brothers called Paul and George, would you immediately think “oh, their mum named them after the Beatles”? The names will mean very little to the kids in their class; my DD is 10 and wouldn’t know who Robbie Williams is!

If it bothers you, introduce them as “Jason and Robert” and then say “we call him Robbie for short”. (I do this with my DD as she often uses her full name at school and there are various diminutives.). It takes away the immediate association where such a thing exists.

Please don’t worry, though. Take That are very much history; the association will only fade. I was a massive Wham! fan back in the day; if you said your boys were “George and Andrew” it would remind me of that, but I wouldn’t assume that was your reasoning.

I've seen Take That twice and didn't make the connection.

My friend's son is called George. Someone said to her 'oh like Peppa Pig'!

….also - next time someone says “Like Take That?” just look blankly at them and say “Who are they?”. (My DD asked who Kylie Minogue was the other day; fame is more transient than we think!)

I think you are right that you should focus on your mental health
youve chosen two lovely names and I think you've latched onto something that you feel you can blame yourself for (you mentioned how unique your sons are but that it's the names have made them less so- challenge that thought- it's not true)

Beautiful names, congratulations.

Names are such an emotive subject, I suppose it's the one thing we grip to during pregnancy.

I had many, many losses, my daughters are names entirely different names to my list.

I have an ivy, because my wonderful grandmother passed away the day she was born. I still struggle to even comprehend that she didn't meet her. She had been taken In that morning and had a heart attack in way to see me,

Then, given I was told I was infertile, my second arrived on Christmas Day, so she is Holly. And I don't care about the song, it fills me with Love.

Strangely, today I met twins, Holly and Jessica, despite me having a Holly I felt sad all day. I worked nearby when that happened, I will never, ever forget it.

They are your babies, you just enjoy them.

I think try and accept it's a strong connection, that's just how it is, but then try and inwardly see the positive side of the association and outwardly develop a sense of humour about it.

That is to say, TT mean a lot to many people, especially a lot of women, were a huge cultural movement and to be fair, their music is pretty good! And I'm not even a boyband fan. They wrote a lot of their own songs (thanks Gary!) and people have bought their more recent stuff/ gone to concerts as their material is good quality, not just through nostalgia. Honestly, it's not a bad thing that comes to mind or an embarrassing one.

In terms of sense of humour about it, I don't mean make fun of your boys, I just mean come up with a lighthearted response like 'you won't believe but we didn't even make the connection! The names have personal meaning to us and 'Pray' is a great tune so it wouldn't have put us off anyway!'

As PPs say though, TT won't be relevant to the boys' peers and probably a lot of their teachers etc so it won't come up for them all the time. Even if it does, so what if people assume? Let them!

I knew you were going to say something about Take That. It pops to mind straight away with those two names and so some people will mention it. I doubt it's malicious. I think you need to expect it, did you not make the connection at the time? I'm in my 30s too.

I think people are just trying to be nice and finding common ground or being funny. Sounds friendly to me. Take That hold fond memories for lots of women my age

It really, honestly doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Those are the names you chose because they mean something to you and you like them. That is all that matters.

As the years go by even less people will make this association OP 💖