People's comments on my son's names

[Petmalex]

I have two sons, a just-turned 3 year old called Jason and a 4 month old called Robert/Robbie.

When we introduced Robbie to Jason's nursery teacher and my health visitor, they both commented 'oh, like Take That'. I shrugged it off to begin with but I can't seem to shake this horrible feeling I get that I can't really describe... Perhaps someone can put some words/sense to it. Everyone around me thinks I'm being ridiculous and overthinking it. Jason was named because his name means to heal (we lost a baby prior to him at 23 weeks in my pregnancy and we lost a baby at 24 weeks after him but before Robbie) so Jason really has been my healer to get through some very dark times. Both my partner and I loved the name Robbie and agreed on it. And since learned that it means 'bright fame/glory'. My Robert is the brightness after the darkness of our most recent loss. However, since these Take That comments, I've been really struggling to call him Robbie without being reminded of Take That. I'm mid 30s and the comments were made by women who would remember Take That. I'm not really into music so didn't think of it. They are both traditional, normal names that can't be changed. My mindset needs to change but I've tried for months now and I can't seem to move past it. I'm hoping that by sharing this here someone will offer some insight as to why I feel this way, why I'm taking it so seriously and why it upsets me so much. Like my living sons are so special and unique but someone has mocked it/making their names common and not unique (Jason's teacher doesn't know of our losses but my health visitor does so should have known better). Thank you for reading. I do suffer from anxiety and intermittent depression so perhaps these comments were made during my baby blues stage.

I have to say I thought Take That as soon as you gave the names. Only because I was obsessed with them through my teenage years though! Their peers won't get the association so I wouldn't worry about it.

I am at the age to remember Take That and even now I am reminded of them as my SIL is a fan of Gary Barlow.

When you mentioned Jason and Robbie, Take That didn't even come to mind.

People are always going to pick at names, I remember when I announced what I would call my unborn child if it was a boy. One of my friends was way over top saying what a horrible name it was and reminded her of a certain character from a soap. Honestly, I wasn't too fond of her daughters name but I never said anything as it's non of my busines!

FYI... I did have a boy and called him the name of the soap character she clearly hated (I never even watched the soap, so definitely no copycat name)

They are fantastic names. Enjoy your boys.

What matters is you love the names and have special meaning behind them. My first thought was also Take That, just don’t call your next child Gary or Mark! My neighbour had 3 boys and called them John, Paul and George after very much beloved grandparents. She had Beatles references all the time.

You are always going to get the pop culture comments, just try not to take them to heart.

I don't think they were being rude.
I wouldn't have thought of Take That because I didn't remember who was in it other than Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow but I would probably say "ooh like the Beatles" if I met George/Paul brothers" but not in a negative way.
I'm also a HCP and sometimes I think we say things that we think might make people feel comfortable or try and make a connection - but it sometimes goes wrong.
If you had been a Take That fan then it would have been a good conversation starter...
Fwiw I know a family with dad and child whose names together are a very famous person (think John and Lennon or Jimmy and Hendrix) and also siblings George and Ezra - in those scenarios I've not said anything but I bet other people have.
You have two boys with names that mean a lot to you - I suspect most people won't think TT but those who do are unlikely to be critical of that (and if they are, they're not worth your thoughts) - try not to worry too much about others' opinions!

I really wouldn’t care what other people think …the names are your choice and preferences.
My Granddaughter is called Olive and my daughter is in her 20s …she had never heard of Olive from the sitcom On the buses and to be perfectly frank she really doesn’t care what ‘Old people’ think …she loves her daughters name and I think it’s perfect 😍

My daughter has a name that was in a TV show, people quite often say 'Oh, like from XX'. They don't mean anything by it, it's just an observation.

Honestly, she was probably just a massive Take That fan back in the day and it was the first thing that popped into her head. I’m of an age to remember them being famous, but it wouldn’t have occurred to me until someone pointed it out. As a pp said, it’s similar to Emma and Victoria (Spice Girls) or Paul and George (Beatles); not obvious at all unless you’re a fan of that particular group and think of the pop stars by their first name. They are perfectly nice boys’ names which are obviously really special to you. I’d focus on that. You clearly feel a bit discomfited by the reference, but it honestly says more about them and their cultural reference points than it does about you or your boys or their names.

Remember too that cultural references- even huge ones - fade. We thought it was the most hilarious thing ever that my friend’s dad was called Michael Jackson. My DD asked me who Michael Jackson was the other day. You can pretty much guarantee that Take That will not be something that’s a big thing in your sons’ lives. (Having said that, I had another friend at school whose name was Bond. Her dad was called James. I suspect he still hasn’t got over that one, but let’s call it the exception that proves the rule…😂)

I'm in my mid 50's and loved Robbie Williams back then but didn't know there was a Jason in the band! Was there?! You'll get used to it I guess. I wouldn't have automatically thought Spice Girls if I met an Emma and Victoria either, the bands are from another era really. I wouldn't overthink it tbh.

I like this 😂

OP, they are beautiful, classic names. Plus no one of their age will have a clue who was in Take That, it will be like worrying about whether people think you’ve named your sons after someone from the Glenn Miller Orchestra 😭

The are lovely names and those people were thoughtless and idiotic. I also thought about pnd.

Reading your message, it seems the comment from them was because of the two of them together. Robbie and Jason for a lot of people who were around in the 90s would probably understand the connection to take that. The names are perfectly fine, and I don’t think the comments were made maliciously. Imagine if you called your children Rosie and Jim. Both names are common and lovely, but introduced together, for a certain demographic they would think of the dolls on a barge! It’s not being mean, sometimes it’s just a thought that pops into your head that you can’t help saying.

I’m of take that age and wouldn’t have made any association with them at all! I think they are lovely and so special that they have such important meaning to you - this overrides anything else for me ❤️ My sons name has a modern connotation which I didn’t realise initially but his name has such special meaning to me and that is more important to me than what anyone else might think ❤️

I'm 27 and didn't make the link to Take That but I guess there will always be someone somewhere who will but I wouldn't see it as a negative.

Although annoying they probably didn't mean any harm and they probably didn't know about the meaning's of the name either. I don't know any name meanings unless it's one I'm personally considering for my child.

I hope you're okay though x

You just need a little patience, OP.

I would make that comment, because it would be how I would make a mental note of the names then I'd probably remember them as Gary and Howard

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. It seems the majority wouldn't have made the association and those who did, happen to be Take That fans.

I don't know why I've taken this so negatively where, like some have said, it is a simple association and both names are nice and traditional. It wouldn't have bothered me if someone had thought we'd named Jason after Jason Statham. It also wouldn't have bothered me if people had thought we had named Robbie after Robbie Williams because I know both are untrue. It's the fact people have referred to a band and because I didn't know about it beforehand, I think I'm angry at myself that I didn't consider this more when we named Robbie and how it goes with Jason; whether there were any associations that I'd be comfortable with. We chose the name Robert/Robbie because we love the name (probably the only one we agreed on). We had a few weeks between naming him and registering him... Am I angry at myself for not changing it when we had the chance?! It didn't bother me then as much as it does now because I fell in love with the name Robbie (still am) and it didn't bother me that a few people thought Take That. So would I have changed anything when we did have the chance? Unlikely because that would mean I cared what these people think too much, more than I liked the name.

I know my mental state is questionable and I will seek professional help. I have to see past this because it's stopping me enjoying my boys which are both absolute miracles.

I did automatically think take that but only because I was a massive fan! I didn’t think it in a negative way at all though. They are both good names in their own right.

but someone has mocked it/making their names common and not unique

I can’t see how they mocked the name at all. You’ve said the name is Robbie and instantly they’ve thought of Robbie Williams and have said ‘oh like take that.’ It’s just a dumb association but doesn’t mean they mocked the name.

The name Robert/Robbie also isn’t unique at all…

I think I meant mocked as that is how I felt rather than them actually taking the mick? Also, the reference to Take That was because I have a Jason AND a Robbie/Robert, both of which are quite common names like you say.

Oh I see, I didn’t even realise their was a Jason in Take That. It does make sense if you hear two names that were apart of a group and you suddenly think of the group. Most people would have just kept that thought in their heads though.

Try not to get upset about it. You know the meanings of their names are much deeper than that but other people may not

*there not their🙄

Pedropony76 It does make sense that people would think of a group if they were a fan and knew the members by name. The whole thing is such a coincidence and wouldn't bother most people at all. I'm sure there are many mums out there with sons called Jason and Robbie or other combinations of Take That, or other bands. I just fear people will make that assumption I guess.

I am a bit like this with my 3 month old. He's called Evan. I remember in hospital the Paediatrician saying "ah, he owns a bike shop!"
I know he wouldn't have meant it in a mocking way, but I've been analysing that response and everyone else's responses to the name aswell! I think it must be normal to overthink their names, but I wish I could stop!

You're overthinking it all.

Strangers have absolutely no clue what significance you attach to the names. They are just making very casual throw-away chitchat that doesn't even expect a response. Just let it go.