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name regret
80

thisfridayfeeling · 05/11/2021 12:19

I regret the name we chose for our daughter and I don't know what to do. It's gradually been eating away at me for the past 6 months.

I won't say what the name is as I know some people won't like it and will make me feel even worse about it. It's an unusual "nature" name and mostly used for a boy I think. That probably gives it away. I've got it into my head that it's too much of a try-hard name (this was obviously not our intention!) and a bit skanky!

She's my absolute world and I can't help feel like I've let her down.

I just don't know what to do. It was my partners first choice and it was also on my name list but I just feel like it was a rushed decision when she arrived as we hadn't properly chosen, and people were pressuring us for a name, and now it's too late!

I don't even know what I'm expecting reply-wise. Maybe reassurance that I'm not the only one who had a wobble about their name choice? I just needed to get it off my chest. I haven't told anyone other than my partner and he thinks I've lost my mind. Will it grow on me as time goes by?!

OP's posts:
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TurnUpTurnip · 05/11/2021 12:21

Change it? If she’s still under 1 I believe you can also change the name on the bc

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SameToo · 05/11/2021 12:22

It really is hard to give an opinion without knowing the name. Is it River? If so, I love it.

Can you make a nickname out of it?

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TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 05/11/2021 12:23

River is a lovely name

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Strangevipers · 05/11/2021 12:26

Plenty of time to change it

But

It will likely grow on you

Nickname or middle name is always an option

And

Although names are important they aren't the be all and end all

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Verfremdungseffekt · 05/11/2021 12:26

Rowan? River? Robin?

I actually love Rowan for girls as an Antonia Forest fan.

I roll my eyes at the mere concept of the 'try-hard name' on here -- it's such a weird, subjective thing. I know a delightful Ptolemy (Tolly) and neither he nor his parents are 'trying' to be anything at all.

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Clementineapples · 05/11/2021 12:27

Without knowing the name it’s difficult to help. Is their a nickname you can use? ie Edie for Eden that might help?

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YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/11/2021 12:28

Storm?

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BlueFlavour · 05/11/2021 12:31

Love nature names. River, Storm, Ocean. All beautiful. Also like Phoenix, Autumn, Misty.
Just think they are lovely.

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ReturntoSpamfritters · 05/11/2021 12:31

Nature names are nice, what's not to like?
Leave it for now, if your DD hates it she can go by a nn or change it when she's older. Sod's Law also states that if you change her name, she will prefer the original one.

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Cornettoninja · 05/11/2021 12:33

I don’t think any feelings (negative or positive) around names are particularly rational tbh all of it relies on gut feels.

Practically speaking, you can change the birth certificate up to a year if you want to so it is possible. Whether you’d get your partner on board is something you’d need to think about.

I’m hesitant to mention this, but are you ok? I would want to be sure that your dislike of the name wasn’t a symptom of a deeper issue that you may need to resolve (specifically thinking pnd). It’s valid to grow to dislike a name but I remember fixating on some absolutely inconsequential crap when I was deep in the throes of it and it’s worth considering. Not that I think that would necessarily change your mind!

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DailyRepeatGuarantee · 05/11/2021 12:35

I love nature names. River is awesome if that's what it is. Nature names are timeless xx

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Blubells · 05/11/2021 12:48

Nature names a beautiful.

What does your dh think? Is he happy with her name?

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YoungGiftedPlump · 05/11/2021 12:51

@DailyRepeatGuarantee

I love nature names. River is awesome if that's what it is. Nature names are timeless xx

They are not tireless
They are very much of the moment and will be the Heather and Keith of the future.
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ThePoisonousMushroom · 05/11/2021 12:55

Does your partner still love it?

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bloominglovelyorange · 05/11/2021 13:05

If it's Rowan then that's my daughters name and I regret it to be honest. If I'd been honest with myself sooner I could have changed it. I wish I had. Changing a name at such a young age is no big deal. Babies respond to any name you shout at them up to a certain age.
I wouldn't say the name is 'try hard' though it's just very very trendy and too similar to Roman which is the fastest rising boy name and is BOOMING. In fact I wish I had tried harder so that's the opposite of try hard. I wish I'd picked a more classic name rather than one that's clearly going to date and I hate the seemingly inevitable shortening to Row.

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bloominglovelyorange · 05/11/2021 13:07

If the name is River I just wanted to say that I also do not think that the name River is 'try hard' at all I promise. It's a mainstream name , a bit trendy but nice. Familiar but a bit different. And not Try hard.

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ThePoisonousMushroom · 05/11/2021 13:10

@bloominglovelyorange

If it's Rowan then that's my daughters name and I regret it to be honest. If I'd been honest with myself sooner I could have changed it. I wish I had. Changing a name at such a young age is no big deal. Babies respond to any name you shout at them up to a certain age.
I wouldn't say the name is 'try hard' though it's just very very trendy and too similar to Roman which is the fastest rising boy name and is BOOMING. In fact I wish I had tried harder so that's the opposite of try hard. I wish I'd picked a more classic name rather than one that's clearly going to date and I hate the seemingly inevitable shortening to Row.

I love Rowan!
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toastofthetown · 05/11/2021 13:15

What does your partner think of the name now? If it was top on his name list and he still likes it it then they might not be willing to change the name, and your daughter's name will be what it is. If it's one of the names mentioned above (River or Rowan) then I really don't think they are too try hard or skanky. Nature names are having a moment now so she should fit in nicely 😊 How are you in general? Sometimes fixating on your baby's name can be a sign of PND.

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KirstenBlest · 05/11/2021 13:17

Are you ok - have you been worrying about the name a bit too much?

You can get the name changed.

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Piggy42 · 05/11/2021 13:19

I’m sure it’s a lovely name OP, and your dd will grow into it. But it would be easy to change it, and people would soon use the new name.

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LanaDelBoy · 05/11/2021 13:19

I also love Rowan for a girl! It's not in the same league as Roman for a boy imo - sounds lovely and foresty but also reminds me of Rowena.

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ilovemykids5 · 05/11/2021 13:50

I instantly thought it may be River. If it is, I love it for a girl.

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user1493494961 · 05/11/2021 14:13

Rowan's nice but if it's River, I would change it.

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Mamacita191 · 05/11/2021 14:29

If you regret it this much I’d change it now before it’s too late. I had name regret and didn’t do anything, now my child is 20 months old and whilst I’ve grown to love the name, if I’d have known how easy it was before 1 years old I would have done it.

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bloominglovelyorange · 05/11/2021 14:55

@LanaDelBoy it's just when you have a nursery with 3 Romans and 1 Rowan that the names really do really merge together. I appreciate on their own the names have different feels and are different names. Theres just there so many Romans now. I get asked all the time if her name has a W or M in middle. Wasn't at all surprised to see RoMan was 2020s fastest rising name again.

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