name regret

[thisfridayfeeling]

I regret the name we chose for our daughter and I don't know what to do. It's gradually been eating away at me for the past 6 months.

I won't say what the name is as I know some people won't like it and will make me feel even worse about it. It's an unusual "nature" name and mostly used for a boy I think. That probably gives it away. I've got it into my head that it's too much of a try-hard name (this was obviously not our intention!) and a bit skanky!

She's my absolute world and I can't help feel like I've let her down.

I just don't know what to do. It was my partners first choice and it was also on my name list but I just feel like it was a rushed decision when she arrived as we hadn't properly chosen, and people were pressuring us for a name, and now it's too late!

I don't even know what I'm expecting reply-wise. Maybe reassurance that I'm not the only one who had a wobble about their name choice? I just needed to get it off my chest. I haven't told anyone other than my partner and he thinks I've lost my mind. Will it grow on me as time goes by?!

Trust your gut and change it. It really is not that difficult. You'll hate yourself if you don't, and your child might hate you. Please change it.

I feel like it’s RIVER which has been said and I totally understand your feelings. It’s not that it can’t be nice but it is a bit over used now and you obviously chose it without that intention. I think you should change it otherwise this will eat at you forever.
How about a subtle change to REEVA
This is a pretty and feminine name and also not an over used name.
All the best with your decision x x
From a Mum of 3 girls. Ages 1, 2 and 4

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It's hard to understand the emotional distress unless you've experienced it yourself. At the end of the day, you deserve to love your child's name, so absolutely change it if you're uncomfortable with it. We changed our child's name after 3 months. We never imagined ourselves in this situation, but we came to the realization once our baby was here and we started using it every day. We gave it time, but it just wasn't the right fit. It happens and it's okay. We're very happy that we made the change.

@SarahJanes1854

Seriously, CHANGE IT! I have an unusual name and I HATE it. I feel humiliated every time I introduce myself to the point that I avoid social situations. Honestly, I still seriously resent my mother for it and I will never forgive her. I wanted to change my name at 18 but she got upset, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Now I really regret ever caring about her feelings. If you think your child will not hate you for giving them a strange name, think again.

I second this. I have an unusual name and hate introducing myself. This led to crippling anxiety as a child in new situations as I didn't want to say my name.

Hello, in case you do decide not to change it, just thought I'd let you know I had major regret on my DCs name and partner unwilling to change it. But my DC has really grown into the name with time, everyone says they can't imagine them with any other name and because they are such a loveable little character they've actually made me love the name over time too. When you have a precious 6 month old in your arms you do feel the weight of the world on your shoulders about these things. But then they become a boisterous, characterful little toddler and start displaying all their own character traits, suddenly a quirky name can feel quite fitting

Hi! I know this is an old thread. What you've posted is exactly me right now, I regret her name so bad, she's 8 weeks old. Her name isnt a bad name, it just isn't what I'd imagined I'd call her and I'm having a hard time with it. Like yours, DH thinks I'm being ridiculous and has said exactly the same that it's just me and buyers remorse. What did you decide in the end? Did you find peace with the name?

Just keep it! Girls names are quite difficult- I haven’t decided on the perfect name my DD yet and she’s at university (obviously she has a name, but she tells me it’s “basic”) Not everyone likes the same names, so other people’s opinions don’t really matter.

Is her second name attractive?
Maybe you could call her by her second name.
If not - change it. Add another first name before she gets to be one year old.

I posted up thread as I really struggled with my daughter’s name after she was born.

I spent a lot of time struggling to decide what to do and anguished over what was best. In the end I left my daughter’s name as it was and we added another middle name (the name I was considering changing it to)

Shes now 4 and I love her name. It suits her so well and she also loves her name too! I’m personally glad I didn’t change it.

However, it’s such an easy process to do and if you really feel strongly about it, change it.

When they’re babies their name feels such a big thing but as your daughter grows and gets her own little personality she will become her own person and she’ll just become her name, whatever it is.

Hope you find peace in whatever you decide

Thank you for offering this perspective. I have considered adding the name I really love as a middle name but not really sure that would alleviate my issues!! It's nice to hear that people have been in the same boat and felt better after some time.

We went with that option because it gave me the option to call her that name if I wanted to without the formality of changing name. I’ve got two uncles who both go by their middle name, so wouldn’t be unusual in our family.

I’m not sure I can pinpoint at what point I genuinely started to feel better about her name, but I remember how hard it was when I was in it and I felt like that feeling would never go away. But it did. Try not to let it consume you too much xx