Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Traditional boys name, for a girl

199 replies

Sixofseven · 20/03/2021 10:16

Just wondering how mean it would be to give a girl a name which is traditionally for boy, like Matthew or Michael. Does anyone here (an adult woman) have a boys name and what was it like as a name? Did it embarrass you growing up?
I’d like to name my daughter after a male family member but it’s not a unisex name and I don’t want to make her struggle as my other daughter has a very feminine name.
TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Watchingthetelly · 20/03/2021 10:49

I’m a fan of unisex names but I really wouldn’t do this. I think it would cause confusion, endless explanations and small kids don’t like being made to feel the odd one out. Could you do the feminised version of the name?

Thedogscollar · 20/03/2021 11:20

No I wouldn't do this especially when you say your other dd has a very feminine name. Maybe put it there as a middle name.

Ninkanink · 20/03/2021 11:21

Of course you shouldn’t do this.

Name her the female equivalent, if there is one. Or honour the family member in a different way.

PlanetPuddle · 20/03/2021 11:25

There's a female Michael in a star trek and once you get the hang of it its quite nice. It would really depend on the name though.

Is it a name like Laurie, Robbie?

Ninkanink · 20/03/2021 11:25

I sounded a bit more adamant there than I had meant to...

Flowers if you are looking to honour the memory of someone no longer living.

PlanetPuddle · 20/03/2021 11:25

Also they will find they are treated a lot better when they are older if they work with emails alot.

Ninkanink · 20/03/2021 11:26

Star Trek is not real life, though.

This child will have to go through school, will likely feel very embarrassed and ‘odd one out’, and will have to navigate a career and having people take her seriously.

Ninkanink · 20/03/2021 11:26

The email bit is true! But still...

VienneseWhirligig · 20/03/2021 11:28

I wouldn't do it - if you must, go for the feminine version of the name (Davina for David, etc). Would you call a boy Emily, Daphne or Angela? If you wouldn't do that, don't do it to your daughter.

PlanetPuddle · 20/03/2021 11:28

I'm thinking Cameron Diaz, Glenn Close and Blake Lively.

Until someone does it it seems strange but those names all seem normal to use for girls to me now.

kimlo · 20/03/2021 11:29

Michael Bates added an a to the end of her name because she didn't like having a male name.

I wouldn't, I would call her a female version if there is one. So Matilda known as Matty for a girl, at least then she has the option to go by another version. Or just give it in the male form as a middle name so she can hide it.

PlanetPuddle · 20/03/2021 11:30

Also in some countries they are used for the other sex, eg. Nicola is a male name in some countries but female in others so worth checking that too. It really depends on the name.

PlanetPuddle · 20/03/2021 11:33

@Ninkanink

Star Trek is not real life, though.

This child will have to go through school, will likely feel very embarrassed and ‘odd one out’, and will have to navigate a career and having people take her seriously.

I think that will depend where they go to school. If it is a place with lots of variety and not the usual English names it will be different to a predominantly English speaking school.
siyhack58342 · 20/03/2021 11:35

There was that model James King but think she was actually Jamie and chose to use James to stand out

viques · 20/03/2021 11:40

Gareth Peirce the lawyer ( not Gareth Pierce the actor) wasn’t named Gareth but changed her name. I have a feeling Gareth isn’t the name you are looking for.

simbobs · 20/03/2021 11:40

Please don't. Your DD will go through life thinking that you really wanted a boy, and it will be a permanent source of confusion and embarrassment. If you can't find another way to honour this family member then at least make it her middle name.

Cyberworrier · 20/03/2021 11:43

I think there are ways to use the name, either a female version, like Michaela for Michael, or you could use the name as it is, but as a middle name? Eg Laura Matthew Smith. I know an Ann-Michael, could that be an option? I also know a Nala, named after a relative called Alan (not sure why her parents went for that instead of Alana but it works!).

Calling a girl Matthew makes me a bit uncomfortable, it’s partly knowing children can be cruel, partly knowing the hassle of people finding your name confusing (I have a unisex name). Also just not all boys names sound nice as girls ones, James and Blake, fine, John, Stewart, Matthew, not so much I think.

Sorry for your loss and I hope you find a way to use the name I your daughter.

dishydishemup · 20/03/2021 11:44

It would be a right pain having to deal with that in your daily life. Is there a female equivalent- michaela, Philippa, Lesley, etc

user1493494961 · 20/03/2021 11:48

I agree with pp, she will think you wanted a boy, you could set her up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate. Use it as a middle name if you must.

camsue · 20/03/2021 11:48

If your other daughter had a very feminine name, please don't choose a typically male name this time. You'd be setting them up for unfavourable comments

imalmostthere · 20/03/2021 11:49

Well it really depends on the name. Cameron, Blake as pp said were traditionally male and sound lovely as a girls name.
Billy, James, George - yes I can see them working. Jeffrey dean morgans daughter is called George and I think it's quite sweet.
But if it's something like Kevin or Dave - absolutely not it's cruel.

Plump82 · 20/03/2021 11:50

@PlanetPuddle

I'm thinking Cameron Diaz, Glenn Close and Blake Lively.

Until someone does it it seems strange but those names all seem normal to use for girls to me now.

And Blake Livelys daughter is called James.
AdelaideK · 20/03/2021 11:51

I hate this trend of calling girls by boys names. No one ever asks if they can call their son Betty or Poppy.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 20/03/2021 11:59

Any name that you have to explain isnt fair on the child if you ask me. The mum and dad might think they're being "unique" or "intresting" but having to explain the name to every new person they meet or having them give you a funny look us going to be annoying for the child. Everyone who doesnt know them will assume they're male, people will think they're lying or joking, they will likely get teased and it wont be fun as they get older having everyone give them a funny look when they go to a job interview or when a 10 year old girl tells her mum that she and "Matthew" were getting changed for P.E, when they get organised into gendered groups by someone who doesnt know them and your DD is put into the boys group, and when they're an adult with a career that "Matthew" will be taking the breastfeeding class for new mums. All can obviously be fixed usually easily and isnt really bad but it is still going to be annoying having to spend time fixing and explaining about something as straightforward as your name all the time.

FeedMeSantiago · 20/03/2021 12:07

I wouldn't - if there's a feminine version use that as her name or a middle name. Otherwise give her a nice girls name like you did for her sister. You don't want her to think you were hoping for a boy.

Also, no-one does it the other way round - not many boys called Sophie or Lucy.

Could you do something with initials? E.g. if your relative was called Matthew James Surname could you call her something like Mary Juliet so the initials are the same. Or something like Matilda Jane so she could use Matti as a nickname? If relative was called Raymond for example you could use Rachel nn Rae/Ray.

I suppose a male name as a middle name could work, depending on the name, especially if one which is also a surname like James or Thomas. Something feminine for a first name e.g. Evangeline James Surname.