Traditional boys name, for a girl

[Sixofseven]

Just wondering how mean it would be to give a girl a name which is traditionally for boy, like Matthew or Michael. Does anyone here (an adult woman) have a boys name and what was it like as a name? Did it embarrass you growing up?
I’d like to name my daughter after a male family member but it’s not a unisex name and I don’t want to make her struggle as my other daughter has a very feminine name.
TIA

Please please don't give your daughter a boys name. I have a boys name as a female and it is a predominantly black males name. It's horrendous. I cannot stand being questioned about it, having to repeat myself, having to explain my parents rationale, I live in fear as another male having the same name as me. I really really don't understand how anyone can look at their daughter have choose a male name. It's selfish from the parent as they are not the ones who live with this name for the rest of their life.

I have known men called Kerry, Beverley, Evelyn and Lindsay - unisex names but ones we tend to know more as female names. It's not easy for these guys as people who see their names before meeting them assume they are about to meet or speak to a female, but that's the only real downside I can think of. Anything goes these days and a person becomes their name, whatever that name may be. I came across a girl called Eliot recently which I thought was lovely. So many names are completely made up and can be unisex. Surnames too - I can think of both boys and girls with the first name McKenzie. Go with a name you love!

@Trampoline

I have known men called Kerry, Beverley, Evelyn and Lindsay - unisex names but ones we tend to know more as female names. It's not easy for these guys as people who see their names before meeting them assume they are about to meet or speak to a female, but that's the only real downside I can think of. Anything goes these days and a person becomes their name, whatever that name may be. I came across a girl called Eliot recently which I thought was lovely. So many names are completely made up and can be unisex. Surnames too - I can think of both boys and girls with the first name McKenzie. Go with a name you love!

Yeah, fuck the kid and what they think of it. My mum gave me one of these bloody names. She loved it. I hated it and changed my name the second I was legally able to do so.

Equally, some people hate their very ordinary non-controversial names - and change those by deed poll too!

@Trampoline

Equally, some people hate their very ordinary non-controversial names - and change those by deed poll too!

Yes, but I don't think they feel as at their parents for picking an 'ordinary' name as those where parents go quite off-piste.

I've been thinking about this all day. The more I think about it, the more I think it's is wind up. Malcolm for a girl? Really?

I can’t remember last time I met a wee Malcolm probably in the 70s.

Malcolm?! Stop it. Don't be cruel.

Thanks for those of you with more masculine/unisex names, hearing how you feel about your name has been really good. I would totally name her Malcolm as I think I wouldn’t mind being called it, but then it’s easy to say that when I’ve grown up with a traditionally feminine name. I can imagine any unusual name makes the teenage/school years really hard, and I don’t want to go with a name that my DD would hate and resent me for.
This is not a wind up at all. I have a long gone family member with the name and I won’t be having any more children so this is my only chance to honour him.
It’s also not about my DH wanting a son. Annoying that it’s always seen that women want girls and men want boys. My DH was ecstatic to find out we were having a girl and admitted after the scan that he’d been hoping for a girl, but of course would’ve been happy either way.
I’m a very open minded person and I like strong women and less girly names. So I could’ve been convinced with Malcolm but I am going to consider Malley instead or using Malcolm as a middle name.
Thanks to everyone for replying and I hope one day we aren’t as constrained by what is traditionally masculine and feminine.

She'll get called Mallard, but at least mallard isn't made up.

Mallie? I have a female friend called Robby, it's not weird at all but it obviously causes issues sometimes. She was put into male halls at uni (despite I'm sure ticking female on the application). She stayed and had a great time!

Wasn't one of the women in The Bangles called Michael?

Australian journalist Vivian James was given his male name, but after Vivienne Leigh became famous, everybody thought of it as a female name - regardless of spelling - so young Vivian persuaded his parents to let him change it, and he chose 'Clive'.

Just a word of warning: apologies to anybody out there with the name Malina, but it's pronounced exactly the same as Melena, which is a medical term for when you have blood in your poo....

I agree with the PP that it isn't honouring your daughter by giving her a boy's name - and I doubt your male family member would want her to have to go through her entire life with a boy's name, just to honour him.

Marley is now a name used for boys and girls.

I would totally name her Malcolm as I think I wouldn’t mind being called it, but then it’s easy to say that when I’ve grown up with a traditionally feminine name.

I know it's said often in baby name threads - and often not meant kindly - but there's nothing stopping YOU from changing your first name or adopting Malcolm as an additional middle name.

You could always call her Molly/Malala Kim or something, so that her given names are female ones but are obvious to anybody who would have known your loved family member that you picked them deliberately to honour him.

@ayegazumba Robby/ie can be short for Roberta, as Charlie can be short for Charlotte, Georgie for Georgina.

I know it's said often in baby name threads - and often not meant kindly - but there's nothing stopping YOU from changing your first name or adopting Malcolm as an additional middle name.

Precisely!

Ellis is traditionally a boys name but I knew a girl with it and thought it was lovely

I actually think the idea of you giving yourself the middle name of Malcolm is a good idea. Its you who wants to keep the memory via a name. This is someone who died before your dd will be born so they won't be remembering them. If you change your middle name / add a middle name, you would remember him each time you fill in a form.

What other names do you have on your shortlist?

If you had started a thread asking about calling a baby boy Malcolm I would have responded with "Oh dear, please don't, poor kid."

Baby girl called Malcolm is beyond the pale!

Seriously, this is beyond your "I would like to honour a [male] relative," and whether you think it's acceptable or not. It's about a little girl being saddled with not just a male name, but a bloody awful male name that even a boy born in 2021 wouldn't want to be called.

I am all for breaking down the gender stereotypes (I buy clothes for my DDs that I think look cute even if they’re aimed at boys, I allow and encourage them to play with whatever they want and told my DD sternly that there is no such thing as boys’ toys after she mentioned it...) but not at the expense of my child. If you have to question how mean it would be to give your child that name, you should already know not to do it.

Unisex names can be lovely but Malcolm is not a unisex name or even a particularly feminine sounding male name. If you want to break down stereotypes with names, change your own name.

malcolm isnt a nice name, or remotely feminine.

this has to be a wind up, no-one in the right mind would saddle their child, never mind daughter with this?!

Malcolm is very, very masculine.

What about an M name plus Alexandra or Alice?

Miranda Alice
Madeleine Alice
Mary Alexandra
Marina Alice
Madelena Alice
Molly Alexandra
Matilda Alice

No I wouldn't but then I wouldn't use malcolm for a boy either
The malcom I knew went by mac

I don't think she will thank you for giving her the name Malcolm. Especially if her sister has a lovely girls name and she gets given a boys name.

I was also going to suggest Mallory or the Welsh girl's name Mali (pron. Malley) which is the Welsh for Molly.

I would use it as an additional middle name so Olivia Grace Malcolm Jones. My eldest ds has the middle name Malcolm for my dad and I really.wouldn't give it to a girl, sorry.