Traditional boys name, for a girl

[Sixofseven]

Just wondering how mean it would be to give a girl a name which is traditionally for boy, like Matthew or Michael. Does anyone here (an adult woman) have a boys name and what was it like as a name? Did it embarrass you growing up?
I’d like to name my daughter after a male family member but it’s not a unisex name and I don’t want to make her struggle as my other daughter has a very feminine name.
TIA

Just to be clear to those you saying the name is awful, if I was having a boy then Malcolm would definitely be his name. There’s no need to say a name is awful. We all like different names, and if we didn’t then we’d all have the same name, wouldn’t we!
The question was if it could in any way work for a girl and the consensus is definitely not.
I’ve got lots more ideas now for a name so thank you for the suggestions

@resm

Apparently Malcolmina is a name. Never heard of until I googled. Would still give you Malley nickname or Mina.

This was really common in Scotland, whack -ina on the end of any male name and hey presto, it's a girl's name. In my family tree I have the perhaps more common Williamina and Thomasina, but also Andrewina, Hughina and Jamesina.

Agree with so many others that Malcolm is a very poor choice for a girl. I don't like the idea of butchering it up and calling her Mallcolma or Malcomme or something. I would use it as a middle name, this is a common and long-standing tradition in many parts of the UK.

Its hard to believe that anyone would consider this.
I get the impression you think naming your daughter Malcolm would make you somehow interesting and 'out there' when in reality people would just be musing on how you could be so unthinkingly cruel and your daughter would hate you for it and be changing her name at the first opportunity. Why anyone would knowingly set their child up to be an object of ridicule is beyond me.

Sorry but Malcolm is awful for a boy never mind a girl.
Would your dh call a boy a traditional girls name in honour of a female relative? No don't think he would. I know a few Toni/Terri/Robyn type names and they all hate it. Most of them don't even call themselves that name. One used her initials so think TA instead of Toni Anne. Never met any woman who likes having a male name unless it's a derivative of a traditionally female name e.g. Rae for Rachel. However all official documents state Rachel.
I know one woman who especially cannot stand it as her sister has what she describes as a lovely uncommon feminine name.

I always feel sorry for Nigella Lawson. Such a funny, charming, beautiful woman lumbered with an ugly masculine name. Think her sister is called Thomasin or similar and Nigel Lawson later called his son Thomas 😬😬😬😬😬

@Onlinedilema

Sorry but Malcolm is awful for a boy never mind a girl. Would your dh call a boy a traditional girls name in honour of a female relative? No don't think he would. I know a few Toni/Terri/Robyn type names and they all hate it. Most of them don't even call themselves that name. One used her initials so think TA instead of Toni Anne. Never met any woman who likes having a male name unless it's a derivative of a traditionally female name e.g. Rae for Rachel. However all official documents state Rachel. I know one woman who especially cannot stand it as her sister has what she describes as a lovely uncommon feminine name.

Yeah, I changed my name.

And again, if the OP wants to honour Malcolm then she can change her own name to Malcolm rather than lumbering a child with it.

I was furious with my mother growing up for doing this. She also has a lovely name and my sister has a feminine name.

I like Bobbie and Billie for girls. I think the examples given about Cameron, Blake and Glenn are not relevant as in the States they are established unisex names.

I would definitely not name my daughter Malcolm. I'm not even sure if this OP can be for real!!! I wouldn't name my son it either for that matter. Whether you want to disallow such views or not OP it is an awful name and that's what everyone will be saying behind your backs; 'what cruel parents'. 'what were they thinking' and her school peers will mercilessly say it to her face - 'you're a man!' Other kids will hear their parents laughing at it and I'm sure it will cause great amusement in the staffroom. But why would you want that for your child? Its not cool its cruel.

I'd go for Mallorie instead or put it as a middle name.

As someone with a unisex name but more male than female, it’s surprisingly annoying to spend your life addressed Dear Mr X and assumed to be male.

As a second name it’s fine, it sounds like a surname.

I was in primary school with a girl called Peter (it may have been spelled Peta but it was definitely pronounced Peter). I was only 3 at the time (my older siblings confirm the name!) but I seem to remember she was ‘from abroad’. I wonder where this is a girls name - or if her parents were just being ‘way out’?

My friend has a male middle name (for exactly the same reason) and she hates it with passion even though it's "only" a middle name. Her sister has feminine, beautiful first and middle names and she's feels it's really unfair.

Whilst I totally understand a sentiment, I personally wouldn't do this to a little girl / or boy. I do however like the idea to chose a feminine name with exactly the same meaning as @SE13Mummy suggested. Beautiful idea!!

@TatianaBis

As someone with a unisex name but more male than female, it’s surprisingly annoying to spend your life addressed Dear Mr X and assumed to be male.

Yeah, it well fucked me off. When I changed it my mother was upset. I told her she was free to change her name to that since she loved it so much. 'But it's not my name, it's yours!' 'No, not anymore.' She tries to call me that and I don't answer. It's not my name. Cruel and stupid to do this to a child.

I was named after a man but I was given the female equivalent which was a popular name at the time of my birth so it didn't stand out. I think school can be hard enough without that extra baggage. I also don't think bringing up celebrities and their kids helps much. They live in a different world with different rules. Although saying that even some of their children change their names.

I think especially now with a lot of attention on gender identity - I'd especially hate to be in high school with a man's name. You'd be more likely to be thought of as having changed your name to match your pronouns - especially if you're not that feminine.

Wow. Why would you inflict this level of pain on another human?! Can you imagine going though school being called John or Dave as a girl?! This is nuts. Perhaps the limiting factor of naming a girl after a male family member is her not being male?

There are a few Malcolminas on freeb,d.org.uk. I might keep it as a middle name though.

@BalloonSlayer

If you had started a thread asking about calling a baby boy Malcolm I would have responded with "Oh dear, please don't, poor kid."

Baby girl called Malcolm is beyond the pale!

Seriously, this is beyond your "I would like to honour a [male] relative," and whether you think it's acceptable or not. It's about a little girl being saddled with not just a male name, but a bloody awful male name that even a boy born in 2021 wouldn't want to be called.

I quite like it

Can I offer you Malka as an option? DD has a friend called that.

@Sixofseven

Just to be clear to those you saying the name is awful, if I was having a boy then Malcolm would definitely be his name. There’s no need to say a name is awful. We all like different names, and if we didn’t then we’d all have the same name, wouldn’t we! The question was if it could in any way work for a girl and the consensus is definitely not. I’ve got lots more ideas now for a name so thank you for the suggestions

I like it. I agree there is no need for people to be so horrible about a name that clearly means a lot to you.

I have a friend called Malika. Might work instead of Malcolm?

@MintLampShade

My friend has a male middle name (for exactly the same reason) and she hates it with passion even though it's "only" a middle name. Her sister has feminine, beautiful first and middle names and she's feels it's really unfair.

Whilst I totally understand a sentiment, I personally wouldn't do this to a little girl / or boy. I do however like the idea to chose a feminine name with exactly the same meaning as @SE13Mummy suggested. Beautiful idea!!

I honestly wouldn’t even give her Malcom as a middle name. My surname before I got married was a common man’s name. I wouldn’t give it to my DDs as a middle name for that reason. Instead, I gave them both beautiful names. DD2’s middle name can be unisex but we chose the feminine spelling.

@Sixofseven

Just to be clear to those you saying the name is awful, if I was having a boy then Malcolm would definitely be his name. There’s no need to say a name is awful. We all like different names, and if we didn’t then we’d all have the same name, wouldn’t we! The question was if it could in any way work for a girl and the consensus is definitely not. I’ve got lots more ideas now for a name so thank you for the suggestions

The thing is, if you aren't prepared to hear negative comments about a name, then don't tell people the name before it belongs to your beautiful new baby. By telling folk beforehand, the world and his wife will always feel there is time to "save" the child from any name they don't like.

This is true for people you know in your real life and is magnified when you go on the internet where thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people will give their opinions, quite freely.

My DB is named after a great uncle Malcolm, but even then, he was given it as a middle name.

Malcolm is not a great name. Lumbering a girl with it, is hardly going to endear her to the person you’re trying to honour.

Do you really want her to resent this special person in your lives? I wouldn’t have thought so.

Who’s more important to you? Malcolm? Or your DD?

Malcolm is a great name for a boy, all the men and boys I've known with the name are really fabulous blokes. I love it (but use Malina for a girl).

@BackforGood
It’s not that I can’t hear negative opinions on the name. My mum hated my DD’s name and thought it was awful, but I still used it for her, because I loved the name. It really suits her and isn’t a well liked MN name!!

I wasn’t looking for opinions on whether people like the name, I was wondering whether women with masculine names grew up to hate their name. The consensus was yes, and it’s been really helpful

I love it (but use Malina for a girl).

It means blood in the poo.

Mally just sounds made up and naff.

OP can change her name to Malcolm since she loves it so much.