Email from friend about my baby's name

[toolonglurking]

I've just had DD, she is a whole 5 days old and we thought we'd picked a good name, but I've just received an email from a family friend saying that it's a terrible name.
Please tell me straight, is Ophelia Elizabeth Cole a horrible name?

eh how is she goingto spell it? shelearns like we all have to

DS went through nursery and school with an Ophelia (they're 12 now) and I've never thought anything of it tbh. It's not to my taste but there's definitely nothing wrong with it!

I also cannot figure out how Ophelia Cole sounds like anything untoward, even in my Glaswegian accent! 🤔

How rude, tell your “friend” to fuck off.

How will she learn to spell it? Erm the same way everyone else learns to spell their name?

I knew some people, last name HUNT, they called their baby boy Michael, I never said anything.

We ALL know people who have given their kids what we think are silly names. Thankfully most of us have the tact to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

Sounds like inverted snobbery to me.

'How is she going to learn to spell it?" The same way the Mackenzie, Kayleigh and Kaycee learn to spell their names.

Thinking you've spotted a dodgy connotation the parents might have missed is arguably the only reason I can think of to do this. And I can imagine someone pointing that out after careful thought, with nothing but good intentions. My friend very nearly had dodgy initials until an auntie thankfully pointed it out.

However your update makes me think this isn't the case here.

What the hell kind of friend is that.
Your daughter's name is beautiful

"How is she going to learn to spell it?"

"I don't know, she could use mnemonics, e.g. C U Next Tuesday"

Wow. That she feels it is her place to make such a comment at such a time! Some people have...I would say nerve but it's too kind.

Forget her! And congrats on Ophelia!

Oh well, straightforward inverted snobbery then. Silly old friend.

Bloody cheek! It's a lovely name and even if it wasn't who does she think she is making a rude comment. At 5 days in you're probably a bit fragile but I'd be inclined to tell her to fuck right off!

Oh she just doesn't like slightly unusual names. Don't worry about it

Hmm, I’m really not trying to stick up for the friend but in your OP you say that she said it was a TERRIBLE name but in her email to you she actually starts it with saying it’s a LOVELY name. 😂😂😂

I think she was still being very rude to comment on it being tricky to spel and a bit of a mouthful to call out but it’s not quite as bad as your OP suggested

...unless you’ve missed out the worst bits of the friends email.

The name Ophelia isn't to my personal taste (the Hamlet thing - I dislike Juliet, Delilah, lots of the names we get from Greek & Roman mythology, etc. for similar reasons), but it's a perfectly fine name, and Ophelia Elizabeth Cole doesn't remotely approach being horrible. I trust you'll manage to yell for her to come inside from playing just fine, OP! And it might be more unusual, but I don't see why Ophelia would be any harder for a child to learn to spell than names like Michelle or Christopher that nobody blinks twice at.

Mostly I'm appalled that your friend would think it's okay to insult the name you just chose for your newborn baby!

I tried to convince my brother not to call his son the name he had made up for him, but he did and I love him/it now. My brother and I are very close though so he didn't seem to take offence at me raising a few issues with it. I think maybe it's different with family - I like to think I had a say ! (I know I don't!!!!)

How will she learn to spell it?!

The same way everyone learns to spell their name. Ophelia isn’t even particularly long. Fewer letters to learn than Elizabeth.

Your “friend” is an idiot and you should tell them that you find their unsolicited “advice” rude and presumptuous.

I think your friend thinks it's a made up fad name.
It's not it's a classic name, which they are obviously unaware of and a little ignorant. Tell them she will learn to spell it by reading Shakespeare as an educated person.

•'How is she going to learn to spell it?" The same way the Mackenzie, Kayleigh and Kaycee learn to spell their names. Ophelia is hardly in the same name bracket as Mackenzie, Kayleigh, and Kaycee. I was christened Ophelia in 1968, and they are very* different names.

I wasn't saying in my earlier post that it's not a lovely name or that I'd pronounce it "oh feel ya 'ole" but unfortunately you can be guaranteed one smart alec will coin the phrase and it will stick for a time.

I love it, it's elegant. Why does she feel she's important enough to let you know her opinion?? Is she always like this?

Our daughter was going to be an Ophelia Elizabeth!!! She's a Rebecca Elizabeth instead. But of course, I fully support your name, OP, obviously.

Aren't friends the weirdest? I had this exact same thing happen to me when I told my friend what we planned on calling DC3 (our youngest is a boy). Anyway, I get this email sent at like 3am from my friend who couldn't sleep, had insomnia as she was so troubled by the name we were going to call our son. It was a total trip. Get a life!!
Your friend probably wanted that name!
It's gorgeous. Stick with it!

It's a lovely name. Your 'friend' is not a friend. Dignified silence is probably the best option here.

I always laugh at the 'not to my taste' brigade.

Why ? The OPs specifically post, to find out if it is liked by lots of people or not, and people are replying.

OP I am going to upset this poster and say I personally^ don't like the name - it is "not to my taste", as you asked us. However, we all get chance to name our own dc, and it would be pretty confusing to have a whole cohort with the same 2 or 3 names.
What I do think everyone is in agreement with though, is the fact that your friend has been incredibly rude. Whatever she thinks of the name she should keep to herself, and comment on something else if she can't bring herself to lie.

I am angry on your behalf. Any friend who thinks it is appropriate to send an email regarding your daughters name when she is only days old would be out of my life. It is a lovely name, and even if people think otherwise, your daughter is here and it is her name and they need to respect that, and respect that it is your choice.