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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name regret

78 replies

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 22:13

My son was born in May and my husband and I decided to call him Harry as we couldn't decide on a name. I wanted to call him trystan and my husband wanted to call him Harald. I compromised and said I was happy with Harry. My husband said he didn't like it as it reminded him of Harry Potter but settled on it as we couldn't agree on anything else. We registered him as Harry but my husband doesn't seem to be getting on with the name and still makes digs about how he doesnt like it. I also didn't want to use a popular name but felt I had no choice as we just weren't getting anywhere! I feel like I can't continue calling him Harry as I know that my husband doesn't like it. I have tried talking to him about it but it always ends in an argument as he won't drop the name Harald (which I really don't like). Any suggestions on how I tackle this? Name suggestions would be greatly appreciated too!

OP posts:

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Lucylocket13 · 07/10/2016 22:21

It's a lovely name and you will grow to love it. Please remember that it is 'only' a name and it doesn't really matter what he is called. As long as he is loved that is really all that matters. I went through the same concerns a few years ago but held tight and now the name is perfect for my daughter. I really hope this helps in a small way.

Jessbow · 07/10/2016 22:22

Harald, or Harold?

StrawberryMouse · 07/10/2016 22:23

Henry?

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 22:26

We both have great grandads called Harold and my husband likes Scandinavian names so wanted the spelling Harald. I love the sentiment but hate the name! I thought Harry was a lovely compromise but I just feel this will be an ongoing issue as hubby clearly doesn't like it even though he agreed to it! I know it's just a name but it's really upsetting me and breaks my heart to know that his dad doesn't like his name! I just don't know what to do :(

OP posts:

Meadows76 · 07/10/2016 22:27

His name is Harry. You by need to get over it and move on. It's a name. It's your child's name.

WeArePregnant11 · 07/10/2016 22:28

I like the name Harry.

That's his name now, your husband agreed to this.

I guess you could go for Henry, Harold or Harrison? And Harry could be the nn?

WeArePregnant11 · 07/10/2016 22:30

Oops, didn't see your explanation about Harald.

I think your husband should stop being bitchy. That's the name you chose and it's a lovely name.

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 22:33

We already know Henry's and harrison's. Somehow we don't know any Harry's! I really dislike the name Harold and have always been open with hubby about that. Sorry if what I'm saying is offending anyone :(

OP posts:

WeArePregnant11 · 07/10/2016 22:43

What? Nooo, sorry, I'm sometimes too blunt.

If you can't go with Henry, Harrison or Harold... then you're probably just stuck with Harry? Sorry. Good luck! :)

WeArePregnant11 · 07/10/2016 22:44

What? No, I'm sometimes too blunt.

But if you don't like Harold and can't go with Harrison or Harold your probably stuck with Harry. Sorry. Or maybe Henrik? Henric?

WeArePregnant11 · 07/10/2016 22:46

so, my previous comment was posted? I thought the site crashed. Oops

TheMidnightHour · 07/10/2016 22:46

What would you change it to though? I have regrets about the name we gave our daughter as it is from my partner's country and although my family can pronounce it my friends from home get it mixed up in unfortunate ways (think mishearing Shelly as smelly). However, we are sticking with it as it is her name and - critically - it was the only one we agreed on at all. Ignoring both your first choices, what could you pick you'd both agree on and would it be worth the hassle and embarrassment of changing?

katemess12 · 07/10/2016 22:50

Even if he were Harald, he'd probably get Harry for short by his peers, so it makes no real difference.

I love Harry. It's the best of the three you mentioned. We have a baby Henry in the family and he's already getting Harry as a nickname. Harry's a lovely name. Tell your husband to suck it up: he agreed to the name all the way back in May and it's now October.

9troubledwaters · 07/10/2016 22:51

Harry is far nicer than the other two

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 23:06

Considering Oakley but not sure if it's too unusual? My husband loves trees and we already have nephews Oliver and rowan

OP posts:

katemess12 · 07/10/2016 23:12

I don't like Oakley at all, sorry.

Lilacpink40 · 07/10/2016 23:18

You both comprimised, a name has been chosen.

Your DH won't actively do anything to change your DS's name so why not change the subject when he's negative?

Change the subject to how well Harry's doing x, y and z.

Unless your DH is now being awkward about the name as part of being awkward in general?

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 23:18

That was the only other name we kind of both liked. It's so so difficult! We were fine choosing girls names!

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 23:20

I don't know why he is doing it but I can't continue with it forever!

OP posts:

Fyoosha · 07/10/2016 23:23

Unless you change it to a name you both really love, there's no point is there? You run the risk of having baby name regret all over again. Don't get how he can love Harald but hate Harry. Harry is short for Harald (or would be as already pointed out). What does he think of Oakley?

Original poster

MrsR5P · 07/10/2016 23:27

He likes Oakley but I have never been 100%. I definitely like it more than Harald though. He thinks Harry is a nickname and also hates Harry Potter and Harry styles - major name association!

OP posts:

Meadows76 · 07/10/2016 23:30

Jesus you can't seriously be considering changing his name from Harry to Oakley?? Sit down for a minute and have a word with yourself about how completley bizarre that is. Your child HAS a name.

katemess12 · 07/10/2016 23:36

There are so many more Harrys than just Harry Potter and Harry Styles.

Harry Houdini, Harry Connick Jr, Harry S. Truman (President), Prince Harry (Henry formally, but he's never been called that)...

The only "Oakley" association I can think of is Annie Oakley.

Fyoosha · 07/10/2016 23:36

I wouldn't do it unless you are both 100% on the new name. The name Harry's been around a lot longer than Harry Potter or Styles!

Fyoosha · 07/10/2016 23:37

X-post

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