Friend called their daughter what we want to call our son!

[lemonslemonslemons]

I'm due in less than 2 weeks and DH and I were pretty much decided on our son's name, Avery. We really like it and we're planning to go with it.

However, a few weeks ago I met a friend of a friend who had a baby girl 7 weeks ago. We have become really close in the last few weeks and she ha just moved to the same area of us. Problem is, she and her DH named their daughter Avery

My DH is still keen to call our boy Avery, but it feels kind of weird now. What would you do?

You've only known her a few weeks so I would go for it. You may not even know her in 6 months

Would seem a bit odd. Does she know you were planning on that name?

I would have a rethink as I wouldn't want to use a name that was in my social circle. They could end up in the same class at school.

(Also, totally unhelpful I know, but I get the ugly mug of Making a Murderer in my head on hearing that name..... Sorry!)

Yeah...that's pretty much what DH said :)

Never seen that show! She doesn't know we were planning on that name, but when she asked if we had a name I told her as much of the situation as I could without letting on and she said we should just go for the name.

If it puts you off they've done your son a favour. It's very effeminate.

I don't like it for girl or boy to be honest but it sounds like a girls name to me.

I like it for a boy or girl. I would use it anyway. Two of our NCT babies were born ahead of DD with very similar names. We just explained we had decided before they had their babies - we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl otherwise we probably would have said when we heard their DDs' names.

Are you Grey's Anatomy fans? As long as your surname isn't Foundation, should be fine.

I would rethink, if it was me. And I would expect her to think it very fucking weird that you've chosen to call your DS the name she called her DD. You can tell everyone until you're blue in the face that you picked it before you met her, but I can tell you now that she's not going to believe you. Its just too unusual. I don't know ANYONE called Avery, let alone who kids whose mums are friends.

FWIW we had picked out a name for DS2 and then some friends of ours called their DS that name, so we picked another one. Its no big deal. There are thousands of names out there, after all.

DH mate is Simon Avery

They call him savoury

(Shrug)

Meh if she found it "very fucking weird" I'd probably let her get on with it. I find it very fucking weird when people act like they own a name.

Funnily enough we are Grey's fans. And Nashville which is where DH got the name from. As did our new friend. We have a shitload in common.

Yes, there are a lot of names out there but we are crap at thinking of names.

FWIW, I want a name that no one else has in our circle. Our DD has a name that no one else has and I want the same for DS. It's stressing me out. Especially as DH is still so keen on Avery, which was a boys name until the girls got a hold of it.

Hmmmmm well if you want a name that nobody in your circle has then you probably do need to pick something else.

How about Aubrey insead?

I know. Pah.

I like Aubrey, but a girl friend of mine is in a band and she changed her name to Aubrey for a while!

Probably doesn't help but this is what Google says:

^Though this unisex name has been around for a few decades, Avery has now definitely heated up for girls, partly as an alternative to the epidemic Ava. The female Avery has had a meteoric rise, moving up from Number 802 in 1990 to 16 in 2015.

Avery's a last-name-first-name being used increasingly for girls -- perhaps because of Avery's similarity to Ava and Ivory. However, at Number 186, it was still given to more than 2,200 boys last year.^

My friend called her son a name that is whilst typically a boy's name here, them emigrated to Australia where to her (and more his) horror the name is very common amongst girls there. He now hates his name with a passion.

I quite like Rowan. DH suggested it a week ago and it's stuck with me. It sounds nice with DD's name and our surname which is a mouthful!

Was just about to suggest Aubrey too!

No one owns a name, of course they don't. But if you know someone who has already picked that name why not go for something different? I realise the rejoinder to that is 'Why the hell should she?', but I feel it will just sour the friendship. If I felt someone had 'copied' my baby name (whether or not they hadn't), it would make me want to avoid them tbh. Its like saying 'Oh I like your dress' and then going out and buying the EXACT same one and then wearing it when you see that person. Its weird and no one likes a copycat. Its not flattering, whatever anyone says, its annoying.

Rowan is lovely.

I thought it was a girls name?

Call your boy Deacon instead. Gorgeous name.

misses point of thread

Because it is a rare name people will assume that you copied her, you may not care about that. Are there any other names in the running?

Both my children had a Rowan in their classes at primary school (now age 22 and 19) - not sure if they were spelt the same but one was a boy the other a girl.

That's good juneau. I can see how it might be annoying as it is quite an unusual name and I do remember being irritated when friends 'stole' my perfume at school and memorably when a girl named all her rabbits the exact same as my guinea pigs! There were three of them - was annoying, but then I was 12... Weirdly I know no one with a child with my DD's name so can't relate. I know some adults with it though and always congratulate them on their lovely name when I meet them .