Jayden

[LBNM19]

Finding it really hard to pick a boys name, I've got a little boy called Louie and thinking of Jayden for this one could be shortend to J or middle name will be Joseph as that's my dads name so Jayden Joseph could also be JJ. Honest opinions please :)

You're doing great work, Spero, keep it up!

O silly me of course. Working with and trying to help people faced with horrible poverty, drug addiction and the aftermath of generational sexual abuse has left me without any understanding of or compassion for people are are not middle class.

So sorry for my woefully ill informed opinions.

Yes you are probably right, some people may need a bit of help to understand when I am being sarcastic. Do let me know if you are struggling and I will try to explain.

I suppose I could start sneering at people who wilfully misunderstand my posts.

I imagine that would be quite fertile soil.

I would rather be called ShitPlop myself than have my head that firmly up my arse that I thought everyone should aspire to be my kind.

Who on this thread is saying that anyone should aspire to be a certain way?

Certainly not me.

But I suppose if I pointed out that calling your child 'shitplop' might not be the best idea, due to fact that people will associate him with shit, I will be accused of all sorts of exciting things.

By the time I registered for my doctorate I was a single parent. We moved (me a five year old and a two year old) to the city where the Uni was and rented a tiny victorian terrace in a deprived road (not great all we could afford).

When i took my (gentle, bookish, terrified) five year old to meet the headteacher she launched on this dreadful lecture about how bad behaviour would not be tolerated yada yada. I was completely wrongfooted and baffled and suffered a brainfreeze but eventually realized he was being prejudged by address, asked him to wait outside and had a frank chat with her (we picked another school).

Giving your child certain names is going to provoke the same (dreadful) reaction from some (narrowminded) people your child will cross paths with. Why do it to them?

These threads piss me the fuck off.

1. OP asked for opinions on the name. The first few posters kindly stated that they either liked or disliked (usually the latter, but that's what the thread is for!) then stuck up idiots start spouting rubbish about class. Well done for being middle class and reminding us that we should all aspire to fit in with you.

2. Some other idiot starts making comparisons with other names. Taneesha? I know a fair few Taneesha, Tanisha, Tanesha's. It's an African-American name. Problem? Again, it doesn't fit in with your reality. Well guess what again, not everybody wants to be a part of your world.

3. Another idiot (or possibly the same idiot, I lost track) spouts more nonsense about care proceedings. Of course, MC children don't get put into care, nor do WC children with MC names. Others then start justifying themselves; "I'm MC - my children wouldn't be put into care!" Not to worry perfect MC mummies, your darlings are safe. Only WC children end up in care - duh!

Very chavvy Joseph is so much nicer, please don't inflict Jayden on your little chap.

I had a similar experience when I lived in Brixton, being judged first on my address.

People judge ALL The time. It's not right, it's not pretty but it happens.

Remain baffled as to why pointing out this utterly uncontroversial point now makes me the bastard child of Margaret. Thatcher and Putin, but do please carry on, gives me something else to sneer about from my comfortable middle class sun lounger.

Easy - I am that idiot talking about care proceedings. Do please tell me where I said any of the things you describe.

Don't spend too long mind, as you won't be able to. Because I didn't.

Usual, I doubt it's your name giving you problems.

Probably more to do with your own knee jerk prejudiced reactions and lack of reading comprehension.

Of course we should bloody challenge it.

Do you think I enjoy watching life after life go down e toilet because we have organised our society in such an inequitable and miserable way? Where profit is the only good, where the rich build gated communities to keep the poor out.

No I don't. But I haven't sent my child in to fight the battle called Chardonnay or similar because why would I chose to make things harder for her.

I think the looking down at the WC is very controversial.

I really don't think that was Spero's intent.

It is utterly amazing that I have to keep saying it, but please, please, please do show me where I have 'sneered at' or 'looked down' upon any one who isn't middle class.

I am now worried that my account has been hacked by the Daily. Mail because I am sure all the people deliberately misunderstanding me can't possibly be as stupid and dishonest as their posts might suggest.

Spero : I do think it is deeply sad and depressing that out of a list of ten names, I can tell you which ones are usually found in care proceedings and which ones never

You're right that you didn't explicitly make those claims, but it is quite clearly implied in the comment above.

As for these gems: amongst whom my daughter was educated for three years. and I had a similar experience when I lived in Brixton, being judged first on my address., they just made me laugh! "My daughter actually sat in the same classroom as poor children! She rubbed shoulders with them!" You must know exactly what you're talking about then. You must know what it's like to be judged because of your background.

Easy she was talking about an undesirable address within Brixton.

Easy.

It is because I know full well what it is like to be judged on your back ground at I would be wary of choosing a name for my child that would provoke that reaction from others.

That is all I have been saying for a number of posts now.

How interesting that some of you chose to build on what I have said in such a unique and interpretative way.

Well, this has been 'fun' but as I am middle class it's probably time to go and point and laugh at some poor people now, so I will leave you to carry on frothing about all the utterly awful things I have (never) said and implied.

Because clearly you won't or can't actually read what I said.

You know snobbery is about the only form of discrimination still legal in this country.

THAT is why it is wise to give your DC names that don't pigeonhole them.