Jayden

[LBNM19]

Finding it really hard to pick a boys name, I've got a little boy called Louie and thinking of Jayden for this one could be shortend to J or middle name will be Joseph as that's my dads name so Jayden Joseph could also be JJ. Honest opinions please :)

Fideline I think that was quite clear. That's why it made me laugh. I've lived in an "undesirable" part of London my whole life. I even have a not-obviously foreign name. My daughter doesn't rub shoulders with the disadvantaged kids for the 'undesirable' areas, she is the disadvantaged kid from the undesirable area. So excuse me for getting my back up when MC snobs look down on our names and then tell us about how hard they found it when they 'mucked in' with the working classes.

Spero, you have responded with good humour and grace to the swivel-eyed horde who have wilfully misread and misunderstood your entirely coherent and sensible points. I salute you.

Fair enough usual but that doesn't mean that people warning about the snobbery are the snobs.

How hard we found it Easy? No. What a real eye opener it was to a very real prejudice.

So, with now opened eyes, the way of tackling those prejudices is to uphold them?

Why have your own children and then give them someone else's favourite name, whats the point?
The suggestion of 'neutral' sounding names is depressing makes me think magnolia paint, when you carry a child and excitedly await the arrival you should be allowed to be excited about the name you have chosen not be obliged to choose from the shortlist of constantly recycled classics.
When my brother told me hes son would be called Joseph I though why? why? how boring for a brand new person.

I don't believe there are such things as MC names usual - there are distinctively WC names and there are distinctively Posh names then there are names that are distinctively boho or from a certain national/ethnic/religious background - everything else is just names.

My own suggestion is just to avoid the extremes so as not to be pigeonholed.

My own opinion is that Jayden, Chardonay, Molly-Mae, Keegan are just as extreme as Jolyon, Ptolemy, Perdita, Portia and Lettice

Rabbit - to be fair Joseph isn't much more 'boring' (by which I assume you mean common/popular) than Jayden. Joseph currently ranks at 22 and Jayden at 37. They're both pretty up there in the 'boring' stakes. Personally though, I don't think it's a bad sign if a name is top 50 - it suggests there's a high chance that it's a lovely name people like.

Lettice is horrific. Except on salads.

So excuse me for getting my back up when MC snobs look down on our names and then tell us about how hard they found it when they 'mucked in' with the working classes.

By our names, do you mean names from your own family or was that a more general 'our' ie working class names. Because, if it's the latter then I think you're unintentionally backing the view that some names do come with prejudged connotations. Which means that, while judging a person is never right, judging a name as being from a certain socioeconomic background is natural and correct. (I am not saying that that then makes it okay to extend the judgement to assume things about the person's character, intelligence, prospects etc)

Manic, both really. My name and DDs name have created sneaky snorts from snobs, (even though they are both cultural names - but easy to pronounce in English so often assumed to be 'made-up'). In saying 'our', I am also generalising WC names. I don't doubt that they come with prejudiced connotations, what I mean is that those who judge by those connotations are fools. The connotations didn't start themselves; the names are held up against MC 'standards'.

Standards that not everybody cares to live by (sorry - posted too early!)

fair enough easy - I agree with you that the connonations shouldn't be there.

My oldest daughter is called Savannah. She was born when I was 19 and I thought the name was beautiful and exotic. I still think it's beautiful. Now I am older, live in the home counties, teach in a private school (which Savannah attends) and have 2 younger dds (one with a 'normal' name and one with a 'posh' name) I sometimes wonder whether I should regret the choice. I don't think I do and I believe my daughter will do exactly the same with her life as she would do had I named her Isabella. But I have absorbed enough societal snobbery and convention to notice when I stand in front of her class and call out 'Hugo, Sophia, Annabelle, Henry, George, Lydia and ... Savannah come here' (I made the other names up btw, I have not just posted a class list!) On the other hand, if it's 'good enough' for the queen's great granddaughter ...

Plus there are plenty of other children at the school who buck the trend and have names that many wouldn't expect to find there.

There was no wilful misreading of posts. Care proceedings were mentioned in order to illustrate why certain names are undesirable.

In no other form of prejudice do we still advocate that we cow tow to those who hold the prejudice.

We don't tell people not to have mixed race kids because of rampant racism. We not tell gay men to one it down a bit.

But tere is this utter blind spot when it comes to ths issue.
You can see why. The very people going on about are te ones who hold the prejudice and they don't see anything wrong with it.
All this guff about 'well rightly or wrongly people will judge'

It really means 'when I hear that name I think your child is common and I have no desire to rethink my attitudes so you have to change, not me.'

Fucking ridiculous .

I am not even that keen on the name Jayden though it is perfectly fine but would be tempted to use it to challenge the stereotypes.

As for kids called Jayden being more likely to be subject to care proceedings, where is the evidence? Fairly recent high profile cases include children named Victoria (Climbie), Peter (Connolly) and Daniel (Pelka) obviously their deaths must be figments of our imagination. I don't even recall a high profile case of a child named Jayden.

Bollox. Names are not supposed to make life harder. Life is hard enough.

I've only met two Jayden's ever, both were at the time babies, would be late teens now. Maybe it's not popular where I live, so I don't have a preconceived idea of what one would be like.

I'm still stuck on Lettice being a name for an actual person. I know it was used in days of yore but I think I'd be a bit stunned if I met one now!

Names (within reason) do NOT make life harder.
Prejudice and snobbery make life harder.

Jayden is not Lulahulamakepeacegogogirl.

It s a perfectly normal, pleasant name.

If you don't like it, fine.

If you think it means a child is common you are a twat.

If you don't like it, fine. If you think it means a child is common you are a twat.

I haven't said either of those things DV

Names (within reason) do NOT make life harder.Prejudice and snobbery make life harder.

Brilliant. We'll just wave our wands and banish prejudice and snobbery. I always manage to miss the easy answer

And FWIW worth I think Jayden/Jaden/Jaiden is a perfectly nice name that has been ruined by unfortunate connotations.

My eldest child also has a name that would now be considered to have certain connotations (it didn't at the time I picked it) - I still think it is a lovely name but I wouldn't have picked it if I had known if it would become so loaded.

Devere

Please tell me your comparison name is made up?!

Agree, Jayden is fine and normal.