Juno, I know where you're coming from!
I was also incredibly picky. I just found it so hard to find a name I loved for both DS and DD.
I read and rejected names from eight baby names books! I read the lists of all baby names from the previous years, nothing. I had a reason against all of them. In the end, DS was named at a day old, we chose one of the names from DP's list, which I'd also liked, but had a reason against. When I examined my reason, it was a silly one (it reminded me of a pop star, but it was a bit of a stretch, and actually no one is likely to know them by the time he grows up), so it turned out we had the name all along. I love his name now.
For DD however, she remained nameless for 2 weeks. I couldn't find "the name" and tbh, we chose the one we both liked, but I don't think we found the name. I still feel there is somewhere out there, the right name for her and we didn't find it. We just got to the point where she had to have a name! I like her name, I like it a lot. But it doesn't "fit" in the way DS's does. Perhaps she'll grow into it ...
Sorry, that was all about me not you! I just really wanted to say, I totally get the feeling that you haven't found the right name, and I understand your pickiness. I'm 
that some people seemed to think this is a wind up!
I am enjoying reading your reasons why not too, refreshingly honest :) I can't say I agree with all of your reasons (you've discounted my DS's name) but that's no problem - names are very personal, that's the point, isn't it!
Perhaps, just perhaps, like me, you have his name already, but have discounted it? Could you look at some of the ones you've discounted, and ask yourself how much the reason matters to you, in the scheme of things?