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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name remorse / regret

147 replies

onlyaname · 23/05/2011 14:46

I am driving myself crazy and have been for a while now about DD's name. It is a very common name but I hadn't realised quite how common until a couple of months after naming her (last year). I'm a teacher and only one reception class girl had this name so I didn't think it was overly popular.

I really wanted a name that wasn't so everywhere! Didn't want to be trendy or unusual necessarily but also didn't want to hear the name all over the place. DH however was incredibly fussy and dismissed names very quickly - names I really loved sometimes.
In fact he didn't like the name but when she was born he mentioned it again and after a couple of days we went for it. Some people don't seem to know the name but I do get quite a few comments about how common it is and that it is not very original.

I do like her name but I feel like I have let her down... I'm sure this is not normal - i.e. to feel like this. But I don't want her to feel that she is like everyone else.

I want to move on but I can't shake this feeling of remorse/sadness I have about her name. I look back and really wish I had checked out name popularity and really discussed names with DH to find out what we both liked and pushed for my names even more. I know names aren't the be all for a child's personality or life... but still...

OP posts:

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hulabula · 26/05/2011 11:12

Yes, Ava seems quite popular. Does this bother you so much that you like the name less now? If it really bothers you a lot, you can always change it, much easier while she's still young. Or you could add another middle name by which you could call her. We can all tell you not to worry, about how having a common name isn't the end of the world etc, but at the end of the day YOU and your dh have to feel happy with your decision. Do whatever feels right to you - you'll regret it otherwise. You wouldn't be the first person to change a child's name.

greygirl · 26/05/2011 11:58

i picked names which are relatively unusual for my daughters, and it is a pain. you can't get badges/mugs/plastic tat with their names on, and they all moan about it.
Ava isn't that common, but if you can buy a mug with it on, be grateful for the lack of whinging....

lindy100 · 26/05/2011 12:36

I've always, always liked the name Eve, so always knew that's what I wanted.

Haven't come across any other Eves her age (1.10), but lots of people call her Evie because that's what they think she's called.

Also, since naming her, MIl's next-door neighbour, who is 5, is called Eve, as is another friend's little girl's best friend, 3 years old, as is new friend with baby's 10 year old, as is another new friend with baby's 5 year old, as is...

You get the picture, but at least they are all different ages so hopefully my Eve won't be surrounded by hundreds of them at school.

itisnearlysummer · 26/05/2011 14:17

Ha ha monkeyface my DD is Olivia Grace.

Could we have picked more common names!!!!

kerala · 26/05/2011 15:51

One third of the girls in DD's (4) class are named Eve.

hulabula · 26/05/2011 16:10

Really ! The poor teacher....

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 17:15

I've got a Ruby, aged two, and I fear it is really chavvy and have real regret about it. But what can be done? We call her Rubes and she's beautiful but I so wish we'd thought a little harder....

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 17:17

And to add to that, it's not that I mind it being common. If it is to be the Sarah of the future, I'd be quite happy. As long as it's not the Tracey...

kerala · 26/05/2011 18:57

I think Eve, Amelie and Grace are this generations Sarah, Claire and Rachel.

fairybuns · 13/06/2011 10:51

I know exactly how you feel. Everyone told me a certain name was classic, pretty, etc. but when I heard it absolutely everywhere it seemed as if I had called my child Kevin or Tracey (no offence intended honestly and I know a lovely Tracey but you the know the stereotype given - it puts you off a name). I wish I'd been brave enough to go with a name at the outset which my dh also liked but which everyone pulled their faces at (but which has now become trendy!) However, this name I now dislike was shortened to a nickname that I do like and I got people to use that very early on. Later, I gradually, privately called my child the name I prefer aswell. My child now thinks his/her 'real name' is 'x' which was the original choice and I'm putting the original first name as their middle name so he/she can still have the nickname they are used to. I'm changing everything by deed poll (which you can do for free on the internet). It's been a nightmare really because I felt the name was always wrong and couldn't shake it off but people thought I was being OTT. Follow your heart.

BambinoBoo · 13/06/2011 11:20

I have a Harry. It didn't even compute how popular the name was as I'm not into Harry Potter etc. I just loved the name and it suits him to a tee. What really gets people going is that his middle name is William after my late FiL. Get plenty of "oh, are you a royalist then" comments. They are just names I like and which have meaning to us. Always go with what you like OP.

If I ever have a girl, I'm seriously considering Eileen after a much loved aunt that died suddenly last year so I'd be going from over popular to not popular at all.

MabliD · 13/06/2011 23:29

I will speak up for the common types here - I'm a Clare. All my life I have known another (growing up in my street, in my year at primary and secondary school, in my friendship group at uni, at work now) and it has had no effect on my life / confidence / feelings about my name whatsoever. I like my name. Some people may be negatively affected by having a more common name, but Ava is really nothing like as popular as my name was in the 70s/80s. I don't know any Avas at all here in mid-Wales.

The only issue I've ever found is in having an unusual spelling of a very common name. No i, people. No i.

BuntyPenfold · 14/06/2011 14:39

I work in a nursery and I don't know any. Eve/Evelyn/Evie, yes, but no Avas.

BlackSwan · 14/06/2011 14:42

Such a beautiful, beautiful name! Don't regret it.

harassedinherpants · 14/06/2011 15:19

I'm also a Claire, and was one of three in my school year of 12.....

I love Ava, and actually don't know another one in RL. My dd is Libby, and then someone I else I know through a friend called their dd Libby and I was a bit but she's in Year R at school now and we haven't encountered another one. I think Ava will be a bit like that tbh.

I also have a James and a Ryan....now they're very common, but weren't so when they were born!

Bumpsadaisie · 14/06/2011 16:11

If you like it, use it!

Don't know for sure but sonographer guesses that our DC2 is a boy, if so he will be Thomas just because we absolutely ove the name. Even though there will probably be loads of others in his class.

I also love "Jack" - and even though it is supposed to be very popular have NEVER met one in my entire life!

flamegirl77 · 20/06/2011 23:52

It's a lovely name. Who comments that a baby's name 'isn't very original' - how rude. Someone who would say that would find fault with any name IMHO. I'm sure your little girl will love being an Ava - it's pretty, classic, easy to spell to people on the phone and short to write on forms! I think you've done her proud. I'm a bit biased because a gorgeous Ava is my niece (but she's the only one I know.)

fivelittlebunnies · 13/09/2011 10:29

I have just come across your post and I wonder what you decided to do? My dh and I had the exact same conversation last night about our little Ava! she was born last year too and we had no idea how popular the same would become. I met another Ava on saturday (2months younger than our daughter) and I know of one other who's mum asked if I minded if she used it. She is also one of two Avas in the baby room at nursery. Her middle name is Angelica and I'm wondering if we should start using that instead especially as it's the same initial. It was nice to read everyone's lovely comments about what a nice name it is but I can totally understand how you are feeling. Our other daughter is called Sadie.
Liz x

Original poster

onlyaname · 13/09/2011 10:57

Didn't change it! DH would never have gone along with that. I have started to get used to it and start to love it all over again.

I am aware of only one other Ava - in the far distant family. I heard the name at the weekend too - which is only the second time in the last year. So not hearing it everywhere has helped. Also the fact it wasn't as high up the name charts for 2010 as I feared it might be helped!

And after reading about all the people who can't have children or lose children that I would rather have her regardless of what she is called. She's amazing and wonderful and she's mine. Yes perhaps she will be one of a few but I don't think that will matter much at all in the long run. If she wants she can change it when she's older.

OP posts:

Original poster

onlyaname · 13/09/2011 11:00

That last para is a bit odd... I mean I would rather have my little girl be she called Ava, Olivia or LuLubel Fluff Petal than not have her. She's magic!

OP posts:

Kaekae · 15/09/2011 00:29

I have only just seen this after posting about the fact I love the name Ava, its my DD middle name and I regret not keeping it for my dd2. When I gave Ava as a middle name to DD I didn't know how popular it was either, but I really don't care I love it, so timeless and classic. My DDs name is Poppy and again a name I didn't think was popular but last week I was at a softplay and I heard at least two other mothers call out to their baby Poppy's! You can't help a name being popular, they are popular for a reason!

workshy · 15/09/2011 00:41

my 7 year old is Ella

we didn't even discuss the name -I liked Emma, he liked Elle so we compromised lol
when we went to register her birth the registrar said 'ooo my 4th Ella this week' and we were really worried about how many there would be (my name is Karen, and there were 3 in my class as primary and 5 in high school!)

but actually in her school she is the only Ella in her year, and the years above and below
there are 400 children in the school and there are 3 Ella's -I can cope with that lol

my oldest is Katy -again I worried about it's popularity but she is the only Katy spelt that way, and there are only one or two Katies

one thing I will say though is I'm so glad I didn't call either of the emily!

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