support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

She really does. She also like Vera Wang.

I on the other hand am in pj's and have very greasy hair.

That's the joy of daughters - you can convince yourself you are a super hot MAMA because hey! look what I have produced! Gorgeous Chanel, Wangette.

Hi Bee, Hi tree, Hi everyone!

God, I can't believe your ex Bee. What a shite. Just feel sorry for your poor girl to be saddled with such a father. Lucky she's got you. xx

My dd only wears dresses that 'twirl' ! Not even a-line ones!! She rather fancies herself as a dancer, but she's quite an actress too - good line in lowering the head, looking out from under lashes with a pout when she wants something!
No Chanel here, for me or her, but we do manage a bit of face cream.

Had my day made yesterday when someone couldn't believe my age and said they would have been surprised if I was over 25! Think the sun was in her eyes...
Slept so badly last night think I must look my age today.

DD gone to play with cousins then round to my Mums's, while I clean house and try to impress estate agents who are coming round to value it. Yeah, we're going to sell....
Argh! The stress!! Oh well.

You should see my bump now, it's HUGE and I'm only 16 weeks. Off to (gulp) Kings tomorrow for more scans and a chat with the geneticist (not quite sure why but hey ho).

Mishta, what a beautiful post. I can imagine you now, curled up on the cottage sofa, keeping the fire going through the night. Obviously, it's summer but we want a fire for cosiness..

Hello Brightongirl, Bezzy, Pelvicflawed, Ilove, Eulalia, Shangrila, Karya, and of course Growingout. (how's your bump?)
And anyone else lurking. xxxx

Linsy Pins
Good luck tomorrow - all will be fine of course but these things bring their own anxieties don' they?
Glad your bump huge - good sign.
You sound less tired too.
And selling the house - well go for it.Now that you know things are well with the bubba, maybe this is the right time for a new beginnings.
Off to Gatwick to get my precious bundle.
hugs
Beexxxx

Good luck for tomorrow, Lins.

Numpty, your feelings are normal - well I felt like that too sometimes. Feelings change a lot, though - one day it was all a dream, then something brings it back. I think it's normal to forget, too. How could we live if we remembered fully all our horrors?

Bee - what an idiot your daughter's father is - and I hope you and DD are now reunited happily!

Sad day here, feeling it might never happen for us. Melancholic, rather than violently angry/upset. But I'm okay - just very tired from too many disrupted nights.

Tree - I want to hear about your christening! well not yours, your DD's, but you know what I mean. I like to live vicariously!

Fajitas for dinner, yum. Lots of cheese and sour cream and guacamole. No baking though - sleepless nights leaving me with no energy....

Ooo, Can'tdo, I really fancy your dinner! (But whatever food anyone mentions, I want it). Tiredness really doesn't help emotional states does it, it just amplifies things. Hope you get a good night tonight. xx

I'm finding I have a tiny bit more energy in the middle of the day, but then massively over-do it, so the evenings are a write off. Can't wait for bedtime.

BB, hope trip to airport smooth and you have her safe home again.

My dd giggling and cackling away in bath, supervised by wonder-dad. I suppose I ought to go and do dinner....

xx

hello all, a quick message before I vanish upstairs to finish my packing. Taxi booked for 5am. Yikes!

Sorry to hear about your dad GO, a lot for you to digest at one time, I really do hope that he recovers very quickly.

Congrats Mishta! So very happy for you.

Numpty, as everyone else has said, your grief is normal, and everyone here has felt the same.

Love the Chanel story Tree.

Good luck tomorrow Lins. Everything will be just fine and an opportunity to take a sneaky peek at mini lins growing away in your bump.

Bee - what an awful man, your poor DD must be gutted.

Can't - wishing you many ZZZZZZZ I hope and hope that she grows out of the insomnia soon. Maybe when those last teeth come out?? (that was when mini bez started sleeping through)

Brightongirl - any news on the job?

And to everybody else I've missed, have a happy week.

Oh, and some news to finish on, let's just say, I'll be on the 'virgin' sangria on hols.

BK xxx

Hi GO - I'm really sorry about your problemos with dad. I hope you are ok you must be ragged.

Off to emergency GP with baby Harriet who is poorly Wil let you all know. Nothing major temp and vomiting but not feeding and listless so best safe than sorry. AM a bit worried for her so will feel better after consultation.

Congratulations Bezzy! I can imagine how mixed up you must feel, but congratulations anyway, and enjoy the virgin sangrias! This thread despite its horrible origins has a lucky feel.

Tree - please come back and tell us how Hattie is. Poor little thing. It's worrying when they are ill.

GO/GU, thinking of you and your father - it must be very hard, being pregnant as well. I'm thinking of you.

Bezzy!! Did I interpret your news right...Congratulations!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx Fingers and everything crossed for you, hope hol is mega relaxing.

Growingout - so sorry your dad is so poorly again. It's such a worrying and scary thing when parents are ill, sending you lots of love. xxxxx

Tree - Hope Hatts is right as rain really soon, and that the docs are helpful and reassuring.

Thinking of the three of you, big hugs all round. xxxxx

Thank you so much, all, for reassuring me that my calm after the storm is normal. Like tree said, it's the panicky feeling about not remembering the smell of someone - except in my case it's the feel of someone, ie the feeling of being pregnant and tired and out of breath etc. I was worried that I was being somehow insensitive by not staying in that same grief, not keeping it 'alive' in the way that she couldn't stay alive either.

Anyway, thanks.

Been reading the thread today while at work, couldn't believe poor BB DD situation - hope all is well now. Can't believe she only got seat on final flight by sorting it out herself. Grrr, but on the other hand well done teen BB DD for managing even when she didn't want to. Her mum's genes showing?

And loved the Chanel no.5 story. Is your baby DD OK now, tree?

Wishing comfort to Cantdo, Lins (for tomorrow) and GO and to anyone else in need of a hug. And... congrats to Bezzy? not that I've any idea of what a virgin Sangria is, I'm more of a shandy girl myself (no tolerance for strong stuff).

Night night all, hope you enjoy all the notes left for you, Mishta... now I've got a vision of a cottage kitchen festooned with yellow stickys.

My big baby girl back safely here - but am sad to hear our Hatts a poorly poppet.
Let us know how she is dearest Tree - she is our thread baby.
CONGRATULATIONS dearest Bezzy - lots of hand holding on offer for you as you know.
Off to groan quietly in bed after my stressful day.

Morning all.

Just been sorting out my medical notes for Amy and Dasiy, because the geneticist wanted to see the post mortem stuff etc this afternoon.
Had to go through all the things in Amy's special box to find it. Saw her photo's (blurry polaroids taken by the hosp.)
and now I feel just SO bereft.
Where is my house full of girls? I want them.

Sitting here crying when should be getting dressed and sorting out my precious Dd that I do have.

It isn't surprising that the grief should jump out at me today, looking through all that stuff, but it does surprise me how fresh it feel sometimes.

Hope everyone else has had a better start to the day.
Love to GO and Tree for their difficult times. xxx

Oh Lins, how sad for you, and at a time when you still have slight worries about your bump. I hope your DD is funny and loving and cheers you up a bit. Hugs for now, and for later...

Dearest Lins
The depth of feeling can be enormous - and yes you should have a house of giggling girls darling. Somehow I guess we have to accept the loss but it is so very hard. Maybe we never will. This new baby will bring new joy and happiness to you but there will be a Daisy and Amy sized gap.
Sweetie - wipe your tears and give that bean inside you a big wave from me.
hugs
Bee

Oh, Lins, am there with you. Wish we could all give you a real-world hug.
Bee's right. You -should- have your girls and none of this should ever have happened. I don't know if we will ever accept that it did, but we live with it because there's no other choice and we have to know that there -is- kindness, love and good fortune in the world.
And, of course, it's always going to be traumatic and vivid again going back to Kings and looking at the photos of your beautiful babies and having to talk about it all to the geneticist.
But, this is your time again now, for the little one growing inside you.
Will they scan you today too?
Sending you strength and hugs. xx

Just catching up with the news.

Bee, what a time! and what an adventure for your girl. Bloody hell. Glad she's back on home turf again.

...and Bezzy, the sangria thing went completely over my head too, until Lins pointed it out. OOh, I hope, I hope for you. Have a wonderful holiday.

Sadly, I didn't get the job. Was to be expected, I think. Thanks for the support and for asking. I really appreciate it. Now, I'm thinking hard about what to do next. Hence my absence from here for the last few days. I need to find a niche.

Really sorry to hear some of the news on here. GO, so sorry to hear what your Dad is going through. It must be so draining for you. Wishing him all the best for his treatment.

Tree, let us know how Harriet gets on. I can't imagine having a poorly baby, but I suspect I'm going to be a real worrier when the time comes. Maybe, then, I can get loads of good advice from all of you

I love that you were talking about Chanel and Vera Wang! Funny you should bring that up. I was looking at a Vera Wang dress for my wedding last week. It's not stupidly expensive - well a little more than my last dress which was from Monsoon (can't wear that one, need a new one) - but I've got my eye on it and if I could just tone up a bit, it would look great. Prob not a good sign if I'm saying that. But, am going swimming again today.

Numpty, love your image of the yellow stickies in the cottage. Maybe, we should jsut draw on the walls instead. So, the messages stay. I guess that's kind of what's happening here, in a way. The internet keeps everything doesn't it...

Best get on with the day. OH has given me a routine to keep to today...much needed goals to get moving and motivated... since yesterday I barely moved from the settee.

Hello folks, wow what a lot of talk, have only had a chance to skim read but I saw lots of congratulations for Bezzy - are you pregnant?!??? How utterly wonderful for you

Camping trip was very good, weather fantastic, the site is free as there are no facilities really, just a toilet but it was great. My friend had friends there so there was 9 adults and 6 kids. Quite a sort of communal atmosphere for want of a better term, and it was great to see the kids run about playing together. Gave me a chance to relax. We made a huge fire in the evening (bit plagued my midges so that helped) and everyone sat round. I'd brought some glowsticks for the kids when it got dark. Lovely moon appeared and I sat up far too late 'cos I just didn't want to go to bed. Kids loved it and I felt that I am not such an old fart after all.... even if birthday is approaching at the weekend.

I can't believe it kids go back to school next Tuesday! dh is off work for a bit to do house renovations so may not get a chance to post much, need to shift furniture around. Will try to catch up on the news.

Oh and think of me on Friday - due date for my baby. I am ok but I know I will cry (am actually crying now). I don't want to forget him but I do need to let go as well.

Love to all on their various stages of this difficult journey.

xxx

Hi all. Haven't read but wanted to say am back and Hatts is ok. Am wringing hands when he temp spikes, she goes all floppy and miows. Dr's were totally nonreassuring and bored to tears.

But I see there are congratulatins and hand holds required, and some special remembering days coming up.

I also see Vera Wang wedding dress Oh I so wanted one but it was £9000. Mine was £2000! !!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Wil be back for proper post.

Thankful dd is back Bee. How was she, how was the time at the airpost and in Italy generally? Hop ethe fall out not too bad?

Glad she ok, Tree.

Was it really that much? The one I tried on was £290.

I just realised, it was a bridesmaid's dress...that's why it was less. I'm looking for a coloured evening dress, so am looking in all the bridesmaids sections instead.

Have had a read through and seems bezzy has indeed some exciting news!

Cant - hope you have had more sleep and are less heavy today.

Lins - for you. It never goes away does it, not entirely. Your appt. is this pm?

GO - is your dad local or do you have to travel? Hard stuff for you, and I hope you are ok. Big hand holds if you need them - you always seem such a strong coping type. You must have your hard days too. How are the dc's?

Brighton - I'm sorry you didn't get the job, but what a star for goin gto the interview and geting the experience. Am impressed at dh giving you goals to help you get throught the day. He must really know how you are feeling. Much energy to you, positive vibes for another day done. The dress I saw was a couture one, you had to go be fitted in London on special days and all that jazz. In fact I think it was £15k. Ha! Imagine!

Numpty - how you doing?

Eulalia - am glad your holiday made you feel young and spirited. Good company and simple living - it has that great affect!

Busier - the builders must be getting on now? How are you? I bet yesterday took it out of you, lots of nervous energy. Always leaves me washed out for ages.

Hello all. Long day working in London yesterday and I've come back and the thread has moved on at such a pace!

Lins - all the best for today. I don't enjoy the run up to scans and appreciate that on top of that, going through memory boxes must be extra tough. Just hold on to the thought of the euphoria after a good scan, though. Hope all goes according to plan, sure it will.

GrowingOut - so sorry things have been bumpy with your father. As we always say, there should never be pressure to post or the need to apologise after time away. You've pressures enough as it is! Hope you are managing to remain as calm as possible and that there is someone there to give you the TLC you need and deserve.

Bezzy - Wow! Big news. Congratulations. Very excited for you. Have the most fantastic holiday - and promise to fill us in when you return.

Tree - delighted that Hatts is making an improvement. So scary when our bundles of energy lose their oomph and are clearly very unwell. I'm sure it's been a fraught time. Look after yourself too.

Eulalia - So glad you had some restorative time away. Sounds really lovely. Due dates are something quite horridly unique, aren't they? The anticipation and the day itself can be dreadful, but once the day has passed, there's always the potential to come out the other side a little lighter. Not meant as a frivolous comment in any way. I see them as important markers to endure/ work through but often feel a little better (whilst admittedly exhausted) in their aftermath. I'll be thinking of you this week and especially on Friday.

All this talk of Vera Wang and Chanel is making me itch to spend money. I'll have to content myself with an M&S sarnie!

Love to all.