support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

good idea Justa.

bezzy rushes off to speak to MNHQ

I'll stop for you bezzy.

Thanks bezzy, in a rush as heading out. Talk soon. xxx

Oh definitely shut down that Pregnancy section. Mostly it's dithering about colour of prams anyway...

Just checking in to say hi all - and thank for your posts. Busierbee thanks for your comments sometimes I do need a perspective check about the reality of it all I know there are plenty of 40 somethings having perfectly ok pregnancies so it sill might work out alright. I alawys remember when it happened the second time thinking of you and it was comforting to know that I was not the only one (all the medics convinced me at the time that it would be so rare for it to happen twice that it helped to know I wasn't the only one) - I know you've had a tough time recently, from catching up on all the posts - so my best wishes to you.

Hi. I have chatted with some of you here on this board. Today I have received my amnio fish results. All clear !
I had a missed miscarriage at 15 weeks due to trisomy 21 last year. So there is hope...

Great new Karya!! Congratulations.
Katie xxx

congratulations Karya!

Congratulations Karya!

sorry small boy wants to watch choo choos on youtube... gotta go

Congratulations Karya!

sorry small boy wants to watch choo choos on youtube... gotta go

Karya, that's great news. Waiting for results is just the pits, glad yours are super! Fingers firmly crossed that all goes smoothly for the rest of your pregnancy. xxxx

Hello all

Quiet here today, everyone ok?

Nothing to report here, STILL waiting. Tried booking D&C appointment on Friday, but couldn't get through to the relevant department at the hospital. Just an answering machine. Didn't think it appropriate to leave a message about something as private as that. May have to though if it's the same situation on Monday.

Am tired and fed up. Feel like I'm wearing concrete boots. Was walking around the shops on Friday looking for some retail therapy, and I just couldn't be bothered. Took all my energy to not drag my feet along the ground. House is a disaster. Cat hair blowing around like tumble weed. Bits of toddler snacks all over the floor. And I just don't care. Can't even be bothered eating. Had biscuits for breakfast and lunch yesterday.

Somebody please reunite me with my motivation.

Love
me me me me me xxx

PS - you ok Bee?

Oh Bezzy sorry that you are here alone. Just come in. Was surprised no-one else here, bit overwined and having trouble with the keyboard, oops.

Great news Kayra.

OK just had cup of tea and a bit better. Bezzy wish I could help in some way. This is when I think the 'cottage' would help as a big warm blanket and the shared tea would help along with the hugs and just being there for you. This limbo state must be awful. Don't worry about the motivation, you don't need it just now. It will come. Just think of getting through each day at a time. Will check in tomorrow, you are probably in bed now anyway. Hugs.

love to all xxx

Hey Bezz, sorry you had such a crap day yesterday. Hope you wake in better spirits today. Was trying to think of what might help motivate you, but come up blank. I think it would be bad if you felt like this day after day, six months down the track, but you're not, you are still in the midst of things, with ordeals still to get through - totally normal and expected for you to have your down days. And I feel retail therapy is a fine distraction when you have trivial problems, but at times like this, shopping only highlights to me how unimportant material possessions are, and makes me feel worse. I have found spending time on what really matters (in your case, you, mini bez and Capt c) is the only thing that 'soothes my soul' in such situations. So, I say, give into your unmotivated state and wallow if you need to. And although housework is not important, I feel much better wallowing in an orderly home, but would either A: do the most superficial tidy-up ever, or B: delegate this to someone else. Hopefully, you will feel better when things are more 'finalised' (IYKWIM), being in limbo is horrible. Take care Bezz xx

And hi to Karya and PV, I remember you both from when I first started posting and I was trying to make sense of who was who and their situations. Failed miserably - started jotting info down, but it started to look like an impersonal spreadsheet, so abandoned that and rely on memory, which is never good at the best of times. Congrats to you Karya, what a relief it must be. And PV, I was also undecided whether to try again since my termination for t21 in '08. I decided to leave it to fate, as could see positives and negatives to either situation, and was quite happy with my life as it was. I had given up working out when I was supposed to ovulate ( dh works away and was never home for the 'day' anyway), but kept taking the folate and pg vitamins anyway, as could see no harm. Well dh must have been home at the right time at some stage, cause as 'fate' would have it I'm 23 weeks now and all is good. I'm also 40. Good luck xxx

Thanks ladies. I think you're right. A tiny effort at the housework will hopefully work wonders on my mood.

Mini Bez was up in the middle of the night for the first time in MONTHS. Man, it was hard. Ended up sleeping in her room while she climbed all over me for a couple of hours.

Capt C been brilliant though, got up with her, and has now taken her to the park to give me some peace. So now an opportunity to wash my greasy hair, do the laundry and hoovering.

Thanks for concern

BK x

5pm sitting with a glass of rather lovely rioja, men in pub - hoorah - tried to hold off til 6 but sod it.

The waiting is horrible Bez, here's hoping you have more joy with the hospital tomorrow or things start to happen for you. Look after yourself, you don't want to be getting ill on top of everything else (crikey listen to the afternoon wine drinker pot/kettle)

Mishta I hadn't twigged you were pregnant - big congratulations that all is well. Obviously I'm jealous as hell but that's to be expected I think. I've decided this weekend to have another go, have started all my vits and will try to relax and see what happens. I'd been reading the 40+ TTC thread which helped me make my mind up, unlikely things are going to move fast for us, so back in saddle we are Mr V.

Hi to Karya that must be huge relief for you.

Hope everyone is well, roast in the oven so I shall pop off for some come dine with me (note to self: stop watching to much tv)
Lots love x

Sorry, forgot to say hello pelvicflawed, hope you stay with us x

Congrats on your decision Mrs V. We all know how troublesome it is coming to a verdict.

Would appear to be unwell already, sore throat, and temp seems to be creeping up. Don't think it's anything to worry about regarding 'down there' as Mini Bez has the same, but going to speak to hospital regardless tomorrow.

Take care and good luck

BK xxx

Hi all

Bez, I meant to write earlier (got it written on the laptop) then RL intervened and had to go out, so never posted.

Motivation will come. But you need to get through this season of grief/waiting. Also it must be soo much harder when you are waiting, knowing the inevitable will happen but wondering when it will happen; I hope you get somewhere with calling the hospital tomorrow.

When I am feeling hard-pressed, I want to become cosy and curl up with a duvet, read a familiar and treasured book or watch a film (Jane Austen, anyone? - or Harry Potter, I like to escape from this world sometimes). I'm in the middle of a Matthew Shardlake/CJ Samson book at the mo, it's great getting out of this century and remembering actually just how good things ARE for us! Also my lovely DH just got me Pride & Prejudice and Zombies on a whim, looks v funny. So I'd say go with it as much as you can, given pressures of family life. Judging by the earlier White Company bed topic, doesn't sound like many of us are Kim/Aggie (though having said that, I actually DID hoover this morning, a rarity as I tend to get DH to do it, can't stand the Dyson).

MrsV, am also on the (1 glass) of wine, hope you enjoy yours - cheers! And well done for making a decision, it is hard.

Hope everyone has had a good Sunday. Justa - you've been a bit quiet, I'm guessing Sunday means work for you - but is all OK on the family front?

xx

It is middle son birthday today - 9 big boys went to the the skate park ON THEIR OWN and camee back for pizza and cake made by yours truly in shape of skateboard but guess what... I have drunk half a bottle of sherry. It is my new favourite thing and a sign I am truly middle-aged - how very depressing.
So Bezz I have not been online as have been baking and trying to stop them breaking every single pot in my garden and entertaining a couple of mums- but you are much in my thoughts darling.Think not much will alleviate this painful spot in your life until time has passed and you have some distance on it all and can look back. You can not look back when you are in the midst of it all.
I remember trying real life shopping in midst of horrors and it was unpleasant - how can you buy jumpers when you have just lost a baby>? How can you care when you are in the middle of losing one?
Online can be distracting retail fun for a minute or two.
Stay here with us, hug the Captain. Play duplo with the mini- Bezz. Reach out to the midwife tomorrow. Watch some crap on telly - if mini will let you.
Have not read the posts properly as my sherry brain cannot focus at the mo.
Kisses to you my Bezzy Boodles
Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How old is your son BB? Sherry in the middle of a kids party sounds very appropriate.

Good luck for today at the hospital Bez.

Just a quick hello as I need to get my packing started. We're not away till Sunday but with all the other usual stuff it takes me that long to be organised.

2 weeks in Spain! Wonderful.

xxxx

So jealous Eulalia, a fortnight with some sun is just what I need. Did you sort out your packing worries?

I too like the idea of sherry at a birthday party, v sophisticated Mum.

BK xx