support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

Bee - thanks for the funny post! I too don't have an ironing pile. Only iron dh's work shirts and school uniforms. Actually my bed is quite tidy but the 'moat' surrounding it is not. Recently I had to step over an opened box of jigsaw as ds2 insisted on carrying it upstairs at bedtime, along with the usual clothing, books, assorted toys etc. My bedroom is an utter mess.

justa -did I ever mention ds1's weird words? For a short time around age 4 he would use words that sounded alike interchangeably. This is quite common with autism. His famous phrase was his request for 'bread soup'. It was definitely bread as I got him to repeat it several times. Couldn't understand but eventually I realised he meant 'red' soup (bread sounds like red) which he had called tomato soup for obvious reasons. So yes of course I should have known bread soup meant tomato soup. Arggh!

Hope all the poorly people are feeling better. Must go as need to tidy (ie push all the crap into a box) the dining room table as dd has a friend coming over after school.

xxxx

Oh and hope something happens soon bezzyk - all this waiting must be horrendous. Much love.

Back from the zoo. Mini Bez was a poltergeist.

She's VERY tired but has spent the last hour in her cot shouting. She too seems to be deciding that daytime sleeps are for wimps. (clearly her mother is a wimp)

Anyway, have decided I need the break so have left her there for now.

Still no sign of miscarriage starting. Starting to be spooked by the thought that Im walking around with dead baby inside of me. Sorry for the horrendous imagery, this is now beginning to plague me a little.

Freaked Bez x

Bezzy, if you are spooked, maybe consider the d and c? I dont think you need to be spooked but I can see why you might be - just the idea is spookifying, even though in fact if you look at it another way, the fetus stopped growing 4 weeks ago, so you've been carrying it for ages like this. However the waiting is really hard and must be taking its toll. Think you need to set a deadline on the waiting game.

Hi Pelvic, I remember you. Hope you're doing okay.

And hi everyone else! DD needs me, just wanted to reply to Bezzy's post.

I'm going to give it 2 weeks, then see what happens.

Hello pelvic. Hope you're ok, was thinking about you the other day

BK xx

Where's our Bee?

I need some humour

Thanks Justa, what I needed

Hello everyone.

Hello PV - it's great to hear from you.

Day spent out and about shopping for parties [own brand sausage rolls - kids, blinis and smoked salmon - adults ]

Good plan Bezzy - but echo justa, if you feel you need to act then don't hold your timescale as sacred. Time will pass.

Lovely to see you PV. I made the tentative step of calling the ARC the other week. They were lovely. I think there's an ARC AGM or something in London on Saturday.

Hugs all round xxxx

Me here darling - dearest Bezzy. It is so totally crappy honey.
Give yourself a week and then maybe go back for a chat - was there a nice midwife there who you can talk to?
I left home at silly O'clock today as was training in Surrey - tres posh - near to our Linsy Pinsy.Chest much better ( I mean the cough not the bosom) and have been thinking about you all much but my keypad is locked and can only mumsnet on daughter's laptop.
Pelvicflawed - I was thinking about you yesterday ( in the bath- I do all my best obsessing in the bath) and am so very glad to hear from you. You have had a shocking time my dear. I remember you from my very first thread and am so sorry this has happened to you twice. I am equally glad that you have three lovely children - I know it does not take the pain and loss away but it maybe distracts and diminishes. I am sure, as you are, that there will not be a genetic link and that you are not much more likely than the next forty year old woman to have a chromosomal problem - but it is truly scary. If you wish to talk about it all, well I am happy to do so. It helps me to thrash it out as it has not been full thrashed for and is never far from my mind.
Bezz my darling - me working tomorrow but going to get online asap and try and think of something funny to amuse you with.
Hello everyone else - is someone having a 'do'? Is it you Tree - is it the christening or have I missed something?
Kisses to all
Bee xxxx

Also wanted to say PV - that the push me/pull me situation is so troubling re trying again.
Part of me thought - I will not be beaten, I cannot have endured all that and not have a baby - but then another part of me says - enough, no, enough has been suffered. Time to stop and enjoy what I have. There is no answer. It is all about what we can manage and when. Maybe give yourself time. That old chestnut. Take the folic acid thing anyway - what harm can it do - I did not and will alway wonder if I would not have miscarried if I had taken Shangrila's mega- dose.
Night
B xxxxxx

Christening week on Sunday Bee.

I hope you are not beating yourself with a big stick labelled Folic Acid. Oh Bee. What a crap crap thing this is, all of it. For all of you.

NPD - did you ever find yourself a nice dress? What did you go for?

Friend just told me she's 9 weeks pregnant (she didn't know I was pregnant)

Why does this happen EVERY time? Now she'll be due 2 weeks after I was.

Oh bezzy. Blimey. Life just throws bloody pies in our face sometimes doesn't it. Poor poor you. Its obviously great for your friend and we all wish her well, but bloody hell. Life.

My mum rescued me Numpty, by buying me a Cath Kitson tea dress. I had leered at them online but assumed I was too big. SHe just brought me in a 16 to try on and it fit, so I stuffed it in the wardrobe quickly. Hurrah! She can get to Harrogate and York to shop so she sometimes brings me lovely stuff from the outside world.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) for bezzy. And stern eyes at fate/God/Gods/mothernature/chance/planets* for the crap sense of humour and terrible sense of timing.

*delete as appropriate.

Bezzy you may remember the exact same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago - one of my best frineds revealed she was 9 weeks pg 1 week after my termination.

I had not told her my situation but promptly burst into tears and had to come clean. I have not spoken to her since, i needed a bit of time but i am getting there and am hoping to pick up the phone soon!

The timing was a complete joke - none of my close friends have kids yet and it was not something on the radar. However after a few bad days i realised the it was in some ways complete opposite - i was dreading someone announcing their pg to me and by getting it out of the way in the worst possible way so soon after my tx i could almost breathe a sigh of relief.

I think it will always be hard watching her go through the stages i should have been going through just a few weeks behind but she means a lot to me and i want to be there for her throughout. That does not mean i don't want to stamp my feet at the unfairness of it all though!!

Oh Bezzy and hello again Pelvicflawed, I had no idea it was so long since you posted. Hope you can stick around and post or just read. I can't imagine how it must be to go through this twice.

Was feeling a little sad yesterday with another month passing, a lost summer where so many of us should have been holding our little babies. But also glad to be moving on. We lit our stove last night, first time since mid April, just before dd's birthday and it was so lovely and cozy.

Can I go totally off topic and ask if anyone can post on a thread I started yesterday which has been totally ignored. I know its v dull but I'd really appreciate it. It's here -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/shorthaul/835488-Flying-Liquids-and-other-items-in-hand-luggage-help-please

Thanks. xxx

Well, one friend gave birth to twins on Wednesday. She was due 3 weeks after the baby we terminated. (my due date is now next week which is making October a double whammy)

And then I have 3 other friends that are either expecting or recently given birth.

And now this one.

Luckily none are in the same city. So I don't have to watch.

Glad you got a frock sorted news, ridiculous how one can find something like finding a dress, so soul destroying.

Am slobbing in pjs. Really should just get showered, always makes me feel better.

BK x

Have responded to your question on hand baggage Eulalia.

Not sure if it's much help

BK x

Oh Bezzy.

Shouts 'WILL EVERYONE STOP GETTING PREGNANT ALREADY'!

yes, think will request all friends and acquaintances to please stop having sex, at least until I've managed to have a healthy baby.

Is that unreasonable?