support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

Oh I wholeheartedly support retail therapy and if I wasn't such a weird shaped chunk right now I would most definitely be joining you

BusyBee, that soup sounds gorgeous. I might just have to copy that. If your children don't want it, please send it my way.

Bezzy, I had to laugh out loud about the adult tv. It did cross my mind that that's what you meant...but only for a teeny split second!

There are some lovely knits in Monsoon right now...and all the new winter coats are in most shops now. I wish I could look after mini-bez while you go shopping.

Oh, Shangrila, that's such a huge amount of loss. So happy it's going well for you this time.

yummy soup Bee,

wow shangrila 7 losses, well done you on hanging on to this one. When is it again that you're due?

Funnily enough, I was chatting to can't earlier by email and was discussing the need to by a new jumper. Will need to inspect monsoon brighton.

I do have to laugh about the White company bed linen though. For some reason I get tons of emails from them, and recently it was their birthday. I got invited to some function at their stores, where there's wine, cake etc. They also had speakers. One of which was going to teach you 'how to make the perfect bed'....mmmm....... needless to say, I gave it a miss, as making my bed at all at the moment is a major achievement.

Found some frozen meatballs in the freezer that I made last week when I was having my Nigella stint. Thankfully something home cooked for dinner

BK xx

Can I have some soup? It sounds delicious.

How's everyone? Bezzy you are doing so well. You deserve retail therapy. Knitwear for winter is the ideal choice, I think.

Have decided this is an unlucky thread and I am not starting the next one! Bee, you had better do that; your threads seemed to bring only good things from the oldies at any rate (I arrived as a newbie without anything good, but you know what I mean).

Well DD is now scared of going to bed. On top of her sleep problem. Terrific. I have bags under the bags under my eyes today.

Mrs V, you are doing so well too. Bet you aren't such a weird shape. But I found it took a few weeks for my body to get nearer normal, even if it never really regained its former shape (who am I kidding? never did since DD, really).

Hugs all round from here and wish me luck for bedtime.

Hello all

Am monumentally p**'d off today. I work all hours in my (!) part-time job, and then get criticised for not doing enough by my own volunteers! And I'd been singing their highest praises to all and sundry. So I am the Incredible Sulk this evening; in a REALLY BAD MOOD. (Grrr, if my volunteers knew how much unpaid time I'd put into this they would realise I was as much a volunteer as them - but anyway that gripe is for a different place, different time).

Wine. Biscuits. Not sure about soup or Shepherds pie, sounds too healthy. Though having said that, I did cook nice seafood pasta for tea. Not helping the tummy though - it's completely out of shape. Or rather, I could say it is in a very interesting/ worrying shape, particularly when bending over.

Goodness, the White Company seems a bit full of itself. I thought making the perfect bed meant plumping the pillows and straightening the duvet... comfy enough for me, anyway. Can't think that would sustain a 'talk' though! Jumpers are nicer to shop for - cosy, cuddly, what's not to like?

I hope the ill people are able to snuggle tonight, and get some peace - and that those pesky children we love so much give us that peace (esp Cant do's DD). And Bezzzy, snuggle all the more. Shangrila - I was so sorry to hear that you've had to bear so many losses; how hard for you.

Better go, or DS will kidnap the mouse again and I won't be able to post this message...

Bez, if ever they invite you to another talk on the perfect bedmaking, do go, so we can have some entertainment, please! My method is, ahem, pull duvet so it looks tidy.

Numpty, I feel the frustration! And I presume the kind of work you do is the sort that always relies on people's consciences to do more than they are paid for. I recall you going back to work soon after you lost your little girl - you are clearly committed. Grr to the ingrats.

And boo to DD who clearly isnt going to go to bed anytime soon.

Red rag to a bull.
The Shite Company Guide to Bed Making by our resident expert Busier Bee the Bed Bird;

Step 1; remove all small children, pets, toys, soiled nappies, condoms, hankies, mobile phones, socks, boxer shorts and mugs

Step 2; smell sheets? Not yet ponging? Leave for a fortnight. Mild smells of urine, baby sick, sweat or other nocturnal odours? Handy hint - spray with Chanel No. 5 -works like a dream.

Step 3; odour really offensive, stains embarrassing for cleaning lady? Peel sheets, pillow cases and duvet carefully off.

Step 4; Search for clean laundry. This can be a challenge I know. Mildewy ones in tumble drier (whoops), some in the never to be tackled ironing pile.

Step 5; the trickiest bit - try and locate a fitted sheet in, you know, the correct size. Hold it up in front of you. Looks okay? Good - now stretch it over bed. Too small? Sod it- just pull tighter and let the bed fold in on itself. The kids will jump on it later and flatten it out. Too big? A few sags and ripples here and there will be cosy.

Step 6; Make cup of tea

Step 7; Locate pillow slips that match; four shades on the creamy/whitey/ yellow spectrum can be charming and give off a vintage air.

Step 8; deep, deep breaths. Search for partner for assistance. If no man around, climb panic-makingly into duvet cover whilst trying to ensure all four corners of duvet in the corners of cover.

Step 9; Place scatter cushions, kittens, children strategically around to hide stains.

Et voila!
White Company? Eat you heart out!

Bee x

Heheheheheheheh...that's hilarious! You ought to be one of those sitting-on-the-sofa experts on morning television...telling it like it really is. Love it

Thanks for cheering up a dull evening here.

Hilarious Bee! First time I've laughed all day xx

• cheered me up too! But Ironing? Or even the intention to iron suggested by having an ironing pile? Surely that'a step too far.

Having writen more emails, made more calls, I am finally going to STOP WORKING and read my book. With a very big glass of Baileys (unfortunately coffee Baileys though, will probably keep me awake).

Night night xx

Night everyone xxxxx

Oh Bee, thanks for making me laugh so early in the day - how funny!! Glad I'm not the only one. I mean I really admire all the Martha Stewart types out there, and wish I could be one, but time and energy sadly lacking here. I agree with Numpty though - an ironing pile? I fold.

Speaking of funny Justa - 14 MONTHS?!?? Could you imagine! No, afraid age limit for flying without a guardian is high school age here. DD's going good and loving being away, and 12 yr DD is loving being an only child for the week. And I'm loving the no fighting. So we're all happy.

On a serious note, bezz, my last two mc's were managed at home. With the second last, it was like you, scan at 12 weeks showed no growth from seven weeks. Although I had a bit of an inkling as started spotting pink. So if you can handle the waiting, and as has been mentioned, there is nothing funky going on down there, it should probably be fine.

Do you think maybe that StillGuilty just had to get her story off her chest, in writing, and that hopefully this board has served it's purpose for her, so she's taken them down? I hope so anyway.

Hope your all sleeping soundly xxx

Still not asleep here as decided to wax my legs last minute so i could go swimming tomorrow. Silly, painful, sticky, messy idea. What we women put ourselves through! Has the summer starting for you yet, mishta?

Hello everyone.

Am laughing head off in my not well made bed, surrounded by toys, baby grows, prescription creams and lotions for various skin complaints, chocolate wrappings, and mismatched bedding. But mismatched by...shhh....the white company!!

Can I still be on the thread?

RL is totally mental, but I will be back properly with my head engages as soon as I can. x

Brightongirl, hope you are asleep by now, and I hope your legs don't break out in small red spots like mine normally do first day after waxing. It's the first month of spring here and it's meant to be 32 degrees today (do you guys do celcius?). Last week of winter we had about 30 degrees evey day - global warming apparently.

Bee and Shangrila, do you think your bodies are giving you not so gentle hints to slow down? I remember you mentioning one day Bee, that you were having your only day off in two weeks - that would wreck me at the best of times. Hope you both rest up.

Not so much as a chirp from the annoying cricket that lives in the indoor plant last night. Now I'm hoping I didn't hurt it when I kicked the pot-plant in frustration the night before. Throwing decorative balls at it from my bed was only making it quiet for a minute or two, and was wrecking the balls.

Better go do something. Take care all xx

Morning.
I do so love this thread, in amongst all the terrible pain, heartache and sorrow, we are rabbiting on about bed making, food and crickets. You really made me laugh Bee! And Mishta, maybe said cricket has moved out to more hospitable place! Really funny.
I've got a white company candle in my bedroom (a present) but as to bed making, yeah surely it's just a quick shake of the duvet? AND anyway, it's better to leave it unmade with the covers pulled down to allow any perspiration (or 'glow' in us ladies cases) to evaporate. Creates less bedmites too.
Hope the sun shines on you all a little today.
xxxxxxLins

Morning all

How are we all feeling?

Any better Bee and Shangrila?

Mini Bez and I are off to the zoo (so pretty similar to hanging around here )

Bed unmade upstairs as cat laying in middle of it. I'm sure that's a big no-no as far as White company are concerned.

Hope that's the end of the cricket Mishta. My cat used to bring them home (amongst other livestock) when we lived in SA. Disgusting things.

Love to all

BK xx

waves to Lins

Morning, well that made me laugh this morning so thank you. I've heard that too Lins, so I fold the duvet down now ala in an unmade stylie - also allows the sheets to dry after my nightsweats (eek)

Oh the zoo sounds nice...weather looking good today. Hope mini Bez is a good little Bez and gives you a rest later. Today I'm going to become white company woman and clean the bathrooms might even pull the hoover out and give it a dust off.

How are the patients feeling today?

Lots love x

Morning all!

You are a funny bunch my cat is ill and she was sick in my bed and all over the bedroom carpet yesterday - is that a no-no too do you think?

I'm at work but would much rather be at the Zoo bezz - please say hi to the giraffe's for me!

Katie xxx

Hello all. Up and about and in work but I can't say that I'm really firing on all cylinders. It's just easier to be here than pick up the pieces in a few days time. And be the subject of the endless gossip that an 'out of office - sick' email notification always prompts.

Trip to the zoo sounds perfect, Bezz. I spent many childhood afternoons in that very zoo which always seemed enormous at the time. I last went there three winters ago - strangely enough to try and gain some quiet time after a missed miscarriage too- and couldn't believe how much smaller it was through adult eyes. Lovely though, and the penguins are as manic and funny as ever. DD will love them, I'm sure.

Sorry if my tales of obstetric woe brought people down the other day. It's funny, our tally of loss isn't vaguely shocking anymore. It's just become normal for us and has been for some time. Must also say that it's not my intention to scare anyone off TTC, far from it. Every medical professional who looks at my notes does a double take, as if there's been some sort of error. And my midwife has long since stopped writing that silly 'gravida x para y' equation that most woman find at the top of every page of their notes. I think she thinks I will find it too distressing, when in truth, I left that mindset behind years ago.

Anyway, the sun is out here today, so I'm doing my best to be chipper (whatever that means!) We have a new John Lewis opened here last week , so I guess I'd better go off at lunchtime and investigate the bedding department and see what poncetastic, overpriced throws and bedlinen they have on display. Might be a laugh. I'll report back... xxxx

[Lins laughs at great word - poncetastic!]

Just wanted to say - hello again after not posting since June when we had our second termination for T21 - thank you to all of you who posted at the time it was good to know I was not alone. Sorry I haven't posted since but for a long time I couldn't go near mumsnet because it just reminded me too much of waht we had lost - however in the last few weeks I've found myself lurking again and wanting to post. Its hard to describe how we fell this time - in some ways its been easier in that we know the path we have taken and after much councelling after the first termination accept the reasons for our decision. In other ways it's harder - sometimes I still don't believe it happened twice. DH I think is finding harder this time and at the moment is feeling rather low. I really want to try again (we have a DS 3 and I have just had my 40th birthday- which I had real problems with in part because of the terminations)DH wants to but isn't sure if he could cope with it ending up in a termination again. Sometimes I feel so mixed up about it the desire for another dc is so great but so is the fear.

We are having genetic testing but from our intial consultation they think it's unlikley there is anything but age being a factor (though until we have the results of the blood tests we can't be sure). Are we mad to try again??

On anaother note we went to an ARC group meeting a few months ago and I can say it was really helpful and supportive - hard but so good to meet others who had been there. ARC have been great both times.

Sorry this post sounds rather selfish and about all about me - I'd like to say hello to the rest of you and send you my best wishes you are lovely, kind, suuportive bunch.