14 weeks gender

[Lisanet]

Absolutely profoundly gutted after today’s ultrasound! I’m 13+6 dated 14 weeks and my whole life I had a premonition I’m gonna have an only child a girl. It lives within my soul. I was also predicted girl by random people in the past (without asking them) and the week before my missed period (had no idea as it was unplanned and unexpected) had a dream I gave birth to a baby girl. In today’s ultrasound the lady said she wasn’t sure as it’s too early but if she was to guess she thinks it looks like developing boy’s parts. I know it’s still not 100% but I’m really worried and really can’t believe it googling everything I can. Nub hasn’t been visible in any of my previous ultrasounds and they didn’t give me a picture of the parts from today.
Did it happen to anyone that the sonographer guessed boy early on and it was indeed a girl? Can anyone have a guess from a shape of a skull? Please don’t judge me for being so set on a girl…I want to cry now.

MNHQ has removed two images because they had a name on them - two remain

Have you given done thought as to why this is bothering you so much? Do you have issues with anxiety generally? Gender disappointment is a real thing but I think you have to think hard about if this is really that important. This board is full of heartbreaking stories of women who had difficult news at their ultrasounds regarding their babies health, being this upset about the gender of a baby who seems to be doing well otherwise seems irrational by comparison. Sorry it's not what you want to hear but a healthy baby is the greatest gift there is. Either way this is your child and you will love them, if that's what you are worried about, boy or girl.

Sorry but if it looks like a boy, most likely going to be a boy. You have 26 weeks to overcome the gender disappointment. It as always going to be a 50% chance.

@Chasingbaby2 yes because I’m a single mother I have no mental support of a partner and because of my age and my desire and general
idea I don’t think I will have another child in my life. So this is hard for me because I’ve had this dream since I was little and as I said I’ve been predicted by random ppl when I have a baby it will be girl and I will be single mother. And yes my mental health is little bit a mess since I’ve never had any mental support of anyone so it feels really heartbreaking to be always going through disappointments alone. And this baby was my biggest hope and now I’m losing it. I beg no judgment everyone’s situation is different.

@BarnacleHead I know but she wasn’t sure. She said she can’t guarantee because the genitals are not fully developed yet and or there might be a cord in a way. She said 70% if she’s to guess. But I’m not very hopeful.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Read back what you’ve written and you’ll realise it’s ridiculous 😉

I understand this completely. I had to have IVF for my baby after trying for 3 years. Of course, all I really wanted was a healthy baby, but I also badly wanted a little girl and assumed this would be my only child. I'd had this image of a daughter for my whole life and didn't know how I would cope of I found out it was a boy. It is okay to be disappointed by the news, but the best thing you can do now is wait for proper confirmation (if you can get a private scan at 16 weeks, this is usually a good time to know for sure). I know other people who have been disappointed by their babies gender but once the baby is born, it's all forgotten about and they fall in love with their baby regardless.

@ChristmasJumpers Thank you I’m glad someone understands! I feel for you too! I’m crying while I’m typing this. I wish I didn’t care but I’ve cared too much my whole life and unfortunately I’ve taken it into extreme years before I’ve ever known if I was gonna have a baby. All I was buying was girly clothes. I’ve huge collection from years of beautiful clothes and dresses all girly and now I can’t imagine I won’t ever used them on my child. It truly breaks my heart. I know it’s silly what I’ve done but I did and I can’t get over it. I’ll wait for my next ultrasound but I’m losing all my hopes by now. She didn’t want to give me her opinion yesterday saying she didn’t know for sure and now I know I shouldn’t have taken it.

@OtterOnAPlane well thank you but it’s not been confirmed yet. She really said she couldn’t tell 100% that it could go either way but of course I’m losing all my hopes because I trust the experienced sonographers.

With all due respect, you should seek therapy.

Hoarding girl clothes and relying on premonitions are not the activities of a healthy mind.

Your poor poor baby. If you want certainty spend the couple of hundred pounds like most people do and get an NIPT test. Then you can make whatever decision you wish.

@Whentwobecomesthree no I don’t want to do that and I will certainly not do that. And I don’t know why you sound so sarcastic. I know my options I just asked what are the chances of the sonographer being wrong since she wasn’t sure and if that happened to anyone else they got a wrong prediction in early ultrasound. Maybe I didn’t leave that very clear because I was pouring my heart out due to being disappointed.

@PurpleChrayn I never claimed my mind is completely healthy I’m just being honest about my feelings. I have my issues and I have quite difficult and different situation from most of the mothers here I dare to assume so I’d appreciate rather understanding than harsh judgment. That’s not the point of this discussion.

@ChristmasJumpers by the way did you end up having your dream girl?

I think you need you need to work on the assumption that you are having a boy and act accordingly. Better to come to terms with it now than spend the whole pregnancy hoping they have got it wrong, and being disappointed when a little boy that only has you to care for him is born. You do need to look into therapy before he is born.

Your full name is on those photos, you might want to get them deleted, for obvious reasons.

You're putting a massive amount of expectations on your baby to make all your problems vanish. It's not fair and you really need to seek some help before it comes. Having a baby puts more pressure on your mental health, not less. Girl or boy.

Agreed, you need the images with your name removing.

And instead of questioning whether the sonographer's interpretation of what she can see you're carrying might be wrong, wonder why you're attaching some kind of validity to "random people's predictions' for your future.

While scans are not 100% accurate they are right more often than not. I was also told I was having a boy at 14 weeks and gave birth to a boy. I would assume for now you’re having a boy. I’m not judging you for being disappointed as you can’t help how you feel, but there’s really no need to be. My son is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and brings me so much joy every day. I couldn’t possibly love a girl any more than I love him. You’re disappointed now because you have an idea of a certain type of child in your head. A girl might not live up to that anyway. She might not like the clothes you choose for her and she might have different interests than you. Honestly when you meet your baby and hold them in your arms it won’t matter at all if they’re a boy or a girl.

Yes I did have a girl. I'm now pregnant again by complete miracle and eager to know the sex so we can plan, but not concerned one bit by if it's a girl or a boy.

My daughter's friends are all loving little boys who love cuddles and just adore their mums - it's very sweet and something I am not getting from my independent girly! I very quickly learned that a baby is a baby, sex does not matter.

It sounds like you have really set yourself up for potential disappointment here with buying all the girl things you have - I do hope you're okay if this doesn't go the way you planned.

@Lisanet Not intending to be sarcastic. Was a bit shocked by your post so was intending to be blunt but not sarcastic. I've experienced gender disappointment but not to that extreme. For what it's worth this little boy will probably be the light of your life and the best thing you could ever imagine.

I don't know why gender disappointment is such a taboo.
It's assumed men will be hoping for a son and they are congratulated if they get what they hoped for.
I desperately wanted a girl and never told a single sole through shame but feelings are completely natural and yes gender disappointment is a real thing which is why you see so many support articles relating to it.
Op you had a dream and you need to grieve that dream and then move on to the reality that you could have a son instead it's a natural process.

@DramaLlamaBangBang yes you’re right!

@ActualChips yes you’re right I didn’t realise. Will take them down.

It's one thing to have a preference but if you are as desperate as you sound for one sex you should not risk getting pregnant and having an unwanted boy.

@Paintpalette I wouldn’t be the first if not one of the thousands of mums that came to baby forums with their ultrasound picture to look for second opinions!