Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@Redhead43 I’m back tomorrow. If I don’t cry in front of anyone it’ll be a victory. I’m hoping I’ll just be in work mode though and be distracted. Let us know how you get on at the scan tomorrow. It’ll be another milestone ticked off and it’ll be so nice to tell your best friend. You deserve to enjoy these moments.

How are people feeling about lockdown? It feels like March all over again.

I had the most vivid miscarriage dream last night and woke up terrified that I’d be bleeding 😭 I think it’s because I had my first midwife appointment yesterday so I had to talk through everything.

Good luck @Redhead43 - hope all goes well at your scan x

@Redhead43 Hope your scan went well today.
@Mummabear40 I can sympathise, I had most vivid baby resorted nightmares just after my tfmr.

Thank you for asking @Dia12, @Alice40p and @holly341 scan was all positive the consultant was very happy which has made me feel so relaxed! Two weeks and I’ll get to see baba again with my consultant and just double check all the measurements. We also found out it’s a 💗 so a little sister for our angel boy 💙 xxx
How was work @Holly341? It definitely feels like March all over again xx

@Mummabear40 sounds awful sorry you woke up from that nightmare. How are you otherwise? Xx

Hope everyone is okay? Xx

@Redhead43 lovely news. You must be feeling some relief knowing all is well so far xx

@Redhead43 this is brilliant news. So happy to hear and congratulations on your baby girl.

Just exhausted but ok other than that.

@Holly341 it definitely feels like March again abs also feels never ending!

Thanks ladies it’s a massive relief. @kiki275 how are you doing?
@mummabear40 I hope you’re relaxing plenty Xx

I'm good thanks. There's a lady on the Aug 21 thread who's expecting triplets. Two of them are identical twins and I'm already worrying for her although I have absolutely no need to. I think I'll be much happier when I've had my first scan and know there's only one in there x

Aw that's lovely news @Redhead43 - congrats on your little girl 💕

I've had a few horrible nightmares and on the nights I haven't I still haven't been able to sleep very well. Hope you get a better night tonight @Mummabear40.

The horrible bitter taste, nausea and exhaustion just linger all day, it's making me so miserable. I'm not vomiting but it does still worse than last time. I've been a real misery guts today.

@Redhead43 I burst into tears within 5 minutes when someone was being really nice to me. Felt like a tit. But at least the first day is over and I’m on a phased return.

Aw that’s brilliant your scan was relaxed. Congratulations on your wee girl! Have you told your best friend yet? If you don’t mind me asking, has this pregnancy had more monitoring/scans? My consultant follow up is meant to be March but I worry it might get pushed. I’m going to ask about what the plan would be for future pregnancies because I like a plan.

@Mummabear40 Yeah it’s starting to feel like Groundhog Day. How was your midwife appointment? I hope you get a decent rest tonight and the dream was a one off. It’ll be the exhaustion and anxiety.

@Redhead43 that’s amazing that your scan went well and congratulations on your baby girl!
If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it take for you to get pregnant again after tfmr. Did you take extra folic acid or anything like that? I’m feeling anxious about getting pregnant again as I’m 40.
@Holly341glad your first day went ok. I’m now feeling anxious going back to work. I was looking forward to it but now I’m dreading meeting everyone again!

@Alice40p It was definitely hard seeing everyone again but I feel a lot better now. When are you back at work? You’ll be grand once the first day is over. Will you be working from home? Has your period appeared yet? I’m having cramps and brown spotting but I just want it to start, I’m weirdly desperate for a new cycle so we can start trying.

@Holly341 people being nice is the worse sometimes even though they mean it in the best possible way. I had to let Fetal med know as soon as I knew I was pregnant and they organised a scan and consultant meeting at 7/8weeks. Consultant offered me CVS to have a 10 weeks which I said no to as I wanted to wait for the 12 week scan then decide. I could of had an amino at anytime if I wanted but I ended up not having one. I had a scan today which was 16/17 weeks. And I’ll have my 20 week scan with the consultant aswel. The consultant then said we’ll take it from there.
Thanks @Alice40p I was very lucky I think as I had my TFMR in June and I caught again at the end of September. So 3 cycles. I carried on taking pregnancy vitamins just pregnacare because I had them left over. I didn’t really start drinking again, tried to eat healthy and I cut caffeine out. I don’t know why but I just felt like i should.

@Dia12 sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. Hope this phase passes soon for you.
@kiki275 I totally understand - once you’ve had a scan I’m sure you’ll feel more at ease.

@Holly341 midwife went really well thank you. She knew my history which was good abs I had a really good cry. She said how I’m feeling is really normal.

@Alice40p I’m also 40, it took me 4 cycles to fall and I was taking folic acid all through, as soon as I got a positive I got a prescription for 5mg of folic acid. I don’t drink caffeine and hardly drink alcohol but didn’t make any other changes. Like @Redhead43 I had to advise the FMU straight away and was scanned at 7 weeks. I’m also being scanned at 10 as well as 12. I’m consultant led and due to very bad complications delivering my first son where I nearly died, I can only have a c section and from 20 weeks get seen by a consultant every other week. I feel very looked after. They do take extra care of you after what we’ve been through and when you are 40+.

@Redhead43 That's good you've had options regarding CVS/amnio and regular scanning. Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less scared about a future pregnancy. I hope your second trimester is going well. It's nice when the energy levels start to improve. Have you got any names in mind now you know the gender?

@Mummabear40 I'm glad the midwife went well. It's good to hear you fell pregnant so soon and are being well cared for after what you've been through. I find the stories on here really helpful, even though we've had this horrible experience there's so much strength and optimism.

@Redhead43 and @Mummabear40 thanks for the info, it is encouraging to hear your positive stories. I am not drinking alcohol or caffeine at the moment too.
@Holly341 I too am having bad cramps which I’d usually my pre period symptom. I had some blood while wiping today and tiny spotting. This might be beginning of periods.
I’m a bit confused though, my bleeding from tfmr stopped just 2 weeks and a few days ago. Can you get your first period so early?

@Alice40p I’m not sure that you can get your period again that soon - it should take 4-6 weeks after the tfmr. After my tfmr (surgical), my body was in shock for a couple of days and then I started lactating, which I guess is when the post-pregnancy hormones would have kicked in. It took about 3 weeks for the bleeding to stop, but it was very off and on. My period should be due any day now, based on the length of my cycle as from when the lactating started, but it still hasn’t arrived. I’m getting cramps, low mood and other typical symptoms so hopefully not too far off now...

Just re-read your post @Alice40p and actually if it’s been a total of 4-6 weeks since your tfmr then it could be your period!

@Alice40p so I bled for about 10 days afterwards, stopped on 13/12 and period has started today. I’m hoping it’s a sign our cycles are getting back on track? I’m going to use clear blue ovulation sticks this month and see what they’re saying.

@SusanSue and @Holly341 I had my tfmr 5 weeks ago and my tfmr bleeding stopped on 19th of December. I’m having leg and abdomen cramps and all the other symptoms associated with periods but still I seem to be bleeding only when I wipe and I have very small spottings. Is this how the period starts after tfmr?

I don’t think there’s a particular way that one’s period starts after tfmr, @Alice40p, but from what I’ve read, it seems that the period could be different to what you’re used to, either temporarily or permanently. I wouldn’t worry about it too much though, good news if that it sounds like you’re getting one, so your body is getting back to being ready for pregnancy again!

How is everyone getting on?

My symptoms have kicked in again. I’ve got nausea from lunchtime until bedtime and am full of cold as well as being exhausted. It’s making it seem real which is hard as I’m starting to picture a possible future and I really didn’t want to this time around.

Hey @Mummabear40 I'm the same as you. I'm drinking lime cordial by the gallon as it's the only thing that cuts through the awful bitter taste in my mouth. Indigestion is also quite bad in the evening.
Are you feeling more positive? It should be a nice time, being able to picture a future and plan a little....it's a real shame we can't fully invest in that (just yet).
I'm getting really scared. I have a scan coming up next week and getting very nervous again.

@NoCallerID have been thinking about you. Hope you're getting on ok with the clinical trial you're taking part in.