Antenatal depression: can anyone tell me it passes?

[Alyciana]

I've seen a couple of really reassuring threads/comments on this topic so I'm hoping I'm not alone. Please be gentle if you reply....

I'm 8weeks5days with a much-wanted and planned for first pregnancy and I feel absolutely desolate. I've read about antenatal depression, told my partner how I feel, and I've seen my GP, who has referred me for specialist counselling. My partner, family and friends are very supportive. But all I can think is that an abortion is the only way I'll stop feeling this depressed, frightened and generally awful. I've never been this low in my life and I don't want to continue the pregnancy. All I can think of is how hellish motherhood will be, how I won't cope with the sleep deprivation, how life as I knew it is over. I'm also very aware that I'm running out of time if I want to terminate. The only things stopping me from booking a termination are a) the fact that I longed for a child for years and b) it would destroy my partner. Please, if you have experienced anything like this and found it passed, can you tell me about your experience? Thanks in advance.

Thank you @BaaHumbugg I am still struggling, but I’m only 7 weeks. I am on my own whilst dp is at work and dd3 is isolating, so that’s making thin ha extra difficult at the moment. Trying to push through x

Hello foreveronEtsy, I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling. This is the first time I have ever posted or replied and I’m afraid I don’t have any positive stories of my own to help you but just going by what all the other lovely ladies have said, I def think you need to speak to your midwife or GP and seek professional advice. I really hope this is something you can get through and be happy at the other end.xx

I have 3 boys already, 12,8 and 3 and I don’t think I suffered depression during any of those pregnancy’s but I am now 11 weeks pregnant with my 4th and have been suffering the worse anxiety and depression for the passed 2 weeks. The only way I can see forward is having an abortion but time is rapidly running out to make that decision. Morally it is too late already I feel but thank you to all the comments on here I know at least there is hope if I seek proper help and advice and maybe that will get me out of this shitty place of feeling so low.

Good luck to you and do let us know how your getting on, maybe we could give each other some positivity xxxx

Hi all,
How did you all get on with continuing your pregnancies?
I’m actually one of the ones who didn’t. I terminated at 8 weeks after a month of feeling low, anxious and feeling like I’d made a terrible mistake being pregnant. I had no
idea that these feelings were normal and after reading all the posts on here I realise that now.

I actually felt relief after the abortion. However it was short lived - perhaps 2 weeks worth. Since then my mood has returned to being low and anxious.

Please think carefully. Termination is tempting and it is the easy way out but it doesn’t always work that well. I’m very pro choice but never thought I’d be in those shoes.

I wonder why these feelings surface in pregnancy? Does it mean we don’t want a baby? It’s not all happy smiles like it is on TV. Why also isn’t it talked about?! We all know how difficult it can be post natal but not this way round.

I feel ridiculous now for not continuing. I’m receiving counselling but I’m petrified of ttc again. Seems mad after what I did!

Deep sigh….

@ED81 I hope you are ok. I feel a lot better now the pregnancy is over and have not had any PND since my daughter was born.

I agree it should be talked about more, it's a lonely and scary place to be and can have catastrophic consequences when you think a termination is what you want but in fact you are just dealing with antenatal depression and don't realise until it's too late.

If you want to try again then you most definitely should, hopefully if old feelings resurface you will be able to recognise them for what they actually are rather than not wanting a baby if you see what I mean. Please don't be too hard on yourself, I've been where you are and it's unbelievably tough xx

@BaaHumbugg. Oh my goodness, thanks so much for your reply. I really appreciate it.

How are you now? I’m in turmoil. Try again or be childless.

I’m not sure if I had antenatal depression as it was suddenly that it appeared?

Never did I predict these feelings. I’m so devastated by them.xx

It could well have been antenatal depression as it came on so strongly for me in all pregnancies so it could be the same for you?

I understand your devastation truly I do and the feelings are so raw and unimaginably painful like being stabbed in the heart almost.

If you do decide to try again just make sure you are honest with those around you and that you get all the support you need. Massive hugs to you x

Your reply is so appreciated. Thank
you so much.

It’s nice to get other women’s experiences. I felt so alone and abnormal at the time. Kinda still do at times. How do others just sail through pregnancy?

Who knew this was so common though.

Deep sigh….xx

Hi,

I’m new to mumsnet, never used online blogs etc.
I’m in desperate need of some advise, I have two children (10 + 8 years). I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with baby number 3, planned pregnancy but having the worst time. Suffering with HG, constantly unwell with urine/chest infections, not been able to do 80% of what I usually do. But now this sudden drop in mood. I think I’m suffering with antenatal depression. I’m struggling to sleep, always thinking about bad things, don’t want to be around any one, really snappy, my children make it worse as they are hard to deal with. I feel like I’d rather not be here, why am I having a baby, what am I getting my self in for, I want to take something to make it all go away. I feel super upset, which isn’t like me at all. I rarely cry etc.

I want to talk to my doctor but I’m embarrassed, don’t know where to start, could it be a phase?

I’m just worried this will go on

I’m new to mumsnet, never used online blogs etc.
I’m in desperate need of some advise, I have two children (10 + 8 years). I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with baby number 3, planned pregnancy but having the worst time. Suffering with HG, constantly unwell with urine/chest infections, not been able to do 80% of what I usually do. But now this sudden drop in mood. I think I’m suffering with antenatal depression. I’m struggling to sleep, always thinking about bad things, don’t want to be around any one, really snappy, my children make it worse as they are hard to deal with. I feel like I’d rather not be here, why am I having a baby, what am I getting my self in for, I want to take something to make it all go away. I feel super upset, which isn’t like me at all. I rarely cry etc.

I want to talk to my doctor but I’m embarrassed, don’t know where to start, could it be a phase?

I’m just worried this will go on