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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

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Original poster

How long does pnd last

42 replies

TipsyMcStaggers · 30/12/2014 17:02

Hi all my DD is 6 months old. I'm taking 10mg of citalopram and starting counselling after the new year.

I just wondered how long these shitty feelings will last? I'm having a really bad day today, really exhausted and down. DP is looking after baby now while I have a lie down.

I'm tired of it. I can't function. I feel like a scruff as I don't shower everyday now and look like a mess. I feel like a shit mum as I'm too tired to play with her when I feel like this.

I just feel so negative much of the time and can't pull myself out of this pitiful hole. I don't find it easy at all looking after my baby as she cries a lot if not being held. She's in a sling a lot consequently but this has done my back in.

My mood went downhill today when I was dressing her. It took me ages as she was wriggling about and rolling over, getting a bit grumpy and I found it really difficult. I'm not particularly enjoying being a mum and that makes me feel very guilty. Sorry this is a bit garbled, just needed to get thoughts out.

OP posts:

divingoffthebalcony · 30/12/2014 17:08

There's no way to answer that question unfortunately.

How long have you been taking the Citaloptam? I'd expect to start feeling a bit better after a couple of weeks. If it's been longer, you should go back to the GP to discuss increasing the dose. 10mg is a low dose and might not be enough.

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 30/12/2014 17:14

Thank you for your reply. Yes I think I probably do need to go back to the doctors, I've been taking them for about 3 weeks now.

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Mumblepot26 · 30/12/2014 18:03

Yes definitely think about upping the dose, you should start to feel a definite change after 6 weeks. Hang on in there, you have an illness and you WILL get better. You are not a shit mum, you are doing your best under difficult circumstances, what you feel right now is not motherhood, it is so so much better

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 30/12/2014 21:12

Thanks. Yes I'm going to ring the doctors in the morning. I just feel so bloody shit and miserable. I feel like crying when my lovely DD smiles at me, the feeling of how much I love her is overwhelming sometimes.

I've been depressed in the past which I think sadly is a risk factor for getting it again.

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Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 11:24

Just an update and a request for advice please. I spoke to my gp this morning who suggested I go to 20mg of citalopram.

When I asked if this was ok with breastfeeding she didn't know and erred on the side of caution, suggesting I go out for a walk everyday. I was too tired and low to disagree but know I won't do this as I'm scared of going out with DD and can barely get out of bed most days.

Does anyone know which, if any, antidepressants are compatible with breastfeeding? She was really reluctant and I don't know if this was because they aren't safe or if she just didn't know.

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DeadCert · 31/12/2014 11:32

You poor thing, I remember feeling like this. I think there's a mumsnetter who knows about medication and breastfeeding. Is it Seeker? Someone will know and be along in a bit I'm sure. How's the feeding going? Does your daughter sleep well? Are you planning on going back to work?

PND is bloody awful, significantly improved for me when I went back to work at 10 months.

divingoffthebalcony · 31/12/2014 12:20

Don't let breastfeeding stand in the way of you getting better, please. If you can't get out of bed (and I remember this feeling) that means you're really unwell and things won't get better by themselves. As for "going out for a walk", in actually really angry your GP said something so lazy. They shoukd have checked whether the dosage increase was safe.

I can't imagine why it wouldn't be, since it's still a low dose.

There are ways of checking though. I'm afraid I can't remember the name of the phone line offhand, because I was too depressed to even persevere with breastfeeding, but I'm sure someone knows of it.

divingoffthebalcony · 31/12/2014 12:25

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/wp-content/dibm/anti-depressants-oct14.pdf

divingoffthebalcony · 31/12/2014 12:26

There's also a telephone helpline here:

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/detailed-information/drugs-in-breastmilk/

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 31/12/2014 12:35

It took 6 weeks for the tablets to kick in for me. I felt more like myself then.

Sorry to hear you are so down. I felt like you did this time last year. It took 6 weeks for the tablets to kick in. As soon as I did, I felt more like me.

Try to hang on until there.

Are you able to exercise? I know your Dr wasn't very helpful but mine was convinced that exercise could help. Finding a buddy to do it with was the key for me.

Hope the tablets help soon.

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 31/12/2014 12:36

Err sorry for the repeat at the top of the post!

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 13:21

Thank you all for replies and support. My DD is a crap sleeper and as we are co-sleeping means she disturbs me a lot (and I probably disturb her!). I feed her to sleep for naps and night time so where as a lot of people might get a couple of hours when baby is in the cot, sadly my DD won't let me do that as she goes nuts if she can't have my boob. It's not ideal but I know it won't be forever.

I know being tired affects my mood. My DP is my rock and will take her for a bit so I can have a nap. I'm dreading him going back to work after xmas break.

I'm planning on going back to work around April. I feel so bad that I thought I would love being at home and being a mum, but I find it so tiring, relentless and boring. I feel so guilty feeling this way

DD loves being in the sling so I think I will make a bit of an effort to get out for a walk with her. I can't really be away from her long enough to go to the gym as she snacks from my boobs and so I can't go out for more than an hour really.

Thank you for info about breastfeeding network, I'll have a look re citalopram. Thank you all again

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Scaredycat666 · 31/12/2014 13:32

Sorry this is just a quickie; PND is awful, but you will get better.

I'm currently on paroxitine which is considered safe when breast feeding (I am).
Btw, you are doing a great job, you just need to take one day at a time. X

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 14:39

Thank you Scaredycat . It's soul destroying isn't it, you feel like you're never going to feel ok again.

Are you feeling a lot better than you used to?

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Mumblepot26 · 31/12/2014 15:55

Scaredy, the way you feel now is not how you will always feel about being a mum. You have an illness, which once treated will give you a whole new perspective on motherhood. You are doing great. But you definitely need to be on a higher dose ad, sorry but your Dr is demonstrating a real lack of expertise in treating you. It wouldn't have taken a few seconds to look up breastfeeding and anti depressants. Could you see someone else next time ?

Mumblepot26 · 31/12/2014 16:16

*i mean tipsy not scaredy

Mumblepot26 · 31/12/2014 17:21

Also Tipsy, just so you know, I had post natal anxiety three years ago after DD2, it was so bad I could barely get myself dressed and fed, my mum had to look after me and the kids for weeks. I eventually started on Fluoxitine and was back to normal within a few weeks. I am currently going through another bout of post natal anxiety, after DD3, and fully expect to recover, however I totally relate to the worry that you will never feel normal again. Trust me that you WILL

Scaredycat666 · 31/12/2014 17:45

Like mumblepot, I'm going through a second bout (she's been very supportive on another thread!). I'm having ups and downs this time round, but do feel better than I was. Last time round I was better in about 3 months (although I started to improve after a couple weeks), and was off the ADs after 11 months. They really were life savers. It is rubbish - but you will feel better - don't try to rush it, and don't beat yourself up about it. It's no ones fault, just really bad luck. X

Scaredycat666 · 31/12/2014 17:47

Btw, some doctors are reluctant to prescribe paroxitine because it has a bad reputation for being hard to come off. However if you do it really slowly you should be fine (I had no problems). I cut down by half a tablet per week. Took ages but no adverse effects.

DeadCert · 31/12/2014 19:45

Really can't help with the feeding issues as I didn't breastfeed, bloody well done to you for persevering in difficult circumstances.

I just wanted to add, please don't feel guilty for wanting to go bs k to work. Not all of us are cut out for staying at home with children, it's bloody hard work and I personally find it monotonous and actually a bit soul destroying. My own personal experience was that once I went back to work and put a bit of distance between me and my son I enjoyed him a million times more.

What I would say, is whilst you're doing brilliantly with the feeding, it may be prudent to try and work out an alternative method of getting her to sleep for when you do return to work.

I promise you, you won't always feel like this. I have since had a daughter (5 months) and I don't feel at all like I did with my son, it all feels like a lifetime ago. They get easier, life gets easier, teeth come through, nights get better, feeding gets better....keep talking. Go back and see your lazy arse GP too and talk about alternative meds. Am actually appalled that she didn't know if you could take your meds and breastfeed.

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 20:24

Mumblepot thank you. Yes I'll see another doctor, she's usually a good one as well

I hope you're feeling ok now. Depression is truly horrible it's really knocked me for six. I was on citalopram a few years ago after my mum committed suicide.

Managed to come off it slowly after years and vowed never to take ad's again. Admitting I needed them again made me feel shit but I know I can't get through this without.

Are you back on meds after your 3rd DD?

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Rinkydinkypink · 31/12/2014 20:28

I can only say from my own experience. It was 6 weeks before I really began to feel ok on citalopram 10 mg dose. I'm 18 months in and I feel so much better than I did but still not normal.

It does get better. It does go away. Keep on your meds, seek support and advice from professionals and use your family and friends!

Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 20:31

Scaredycat poor you do you and Mumblepot feel a little bit better this time, having been through it and knowing you will eventually feel better?

Thanks for your support. I do beat myself up too much ( thoughts of 'I'm a shit mum', 'I'm crap at this parenting lark' etc)

Thank you for the advice about coming off paroxetine. I had to break my tablets up when I came off the citalopram years ago. Takes ages doesn't it but no nasty withdrawal symptoms

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Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 20:38

Rinkydinkypink thank you, it really helps to hear others experiences.

Hope you're feeling ok

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Original poster

TipsyMcStaggers · 31/12/2014 20:46

Deadcert thanks for your post. That's good to hear that you enjoyed your son when you returned to work. Gives me hope; but makes me sad as well, almost like I'm wishing away my maternity leave.

Everyone who's been through pnd says it does end and I'm clinging to that.

Yes I need to speak to the useless gp again.

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