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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Original poster

How long does pnd last

42 replies

TipsyMcStaggers · 30/12/2014 17:02

Hi all my DD is 6 months old. I'm taking 10mg of citalopram and starting counselling after the new year.

I just wondered how long these shitty feelings will last? I'm having a really bad day today, really exhausted and down. DP is looking after baby now while I have a lie down.

I'm tired of it. I can't function. I feel like a scruff as I don't shower everyday now and look like a mess. I feel like a shit mum as I'm too tired to play with her when I feel like this.

I just feel so negative much of the time and can't pull myself out of this pitiful hole. I don't find it easy at all looking after my baby as she cries a lot if not being held. She's in a sling a lot consequently but this has done my back in.

My mood went downhill today when I was dressing her. It took me ages as she was wriggling about and rolling over, getting a bit grumpy and I found it really difficult. I'm not particularly enjoying being a mum and that makes me feel very guilty. Sorry this is a bit garbled, just needed to get thoughts out.

OP posts:
Mumblepot26 · 31/12/2014 21:35

Tipsy, yes it's definitely less frightening second time around as I know what it is and what I need to do about. I am a trained therapist, so obviously put a lot emphasis on exploring the origin of the anxiety? However I genuinely believe it's different with PND, my experience is that whilst there may be some deep rooted triggers, it is first and foremost chemical, hence I wouldn't for a minute consider trying to recover without meds. You sound like a lovely person, hoping this starts passing for you very soon x

Original poster
TipsyMcStaggers · 01/01/2015 17:27

Thanks Mumblepot that's so kind of you. I'm glad it's less frightening this time for you. Hope you feel better soon as well x

OP posts:
Star8181 · 03/01/2015 20:47

Hi Tipsy, I'm on Citalopram 20mg, and I breastfed for a year on it (I've stopped feeding now). Baby had no problems, GP was happy for me to be on it. X

Original poster
TipsyMcStaggers · 03/01/2015 21:00

Hi Star thanks for posting to tell me this. I'm really puzzled as to why my gp was so reluctant about increasing my dose to 20mg.

I think I said earlier that she'd advised me to get out for a walk with the baby everyday. Well I've managed to drag myself out once with DP and DD.

She's ringing me midweek so I think I'll ask to increase to 20mg.

How are you feeling now? Are you still taking the citalopram? x

OP posts:
Mumblepot26 · 05/01/2015 19:39

Hey Tipsy how are you feeling?

BabyOnBoob · 05/01/2015 19:51

Hi Mumblepot ( I've nc'd!)
I'm ok ish today, thanks for asking. Yesterday I was horrific, back in bed again with poor DP looking after the baby.

I contacted the breastfeeding network who said it's fine to take 20mg of my antidepressant, so I'm going to start the higher dose tomorrow.

I really hate this pnd. Is it normal to feel you don't have a bond with your baby? I sometimes feel like this, and seeing my DP adore her and her him, kills me inside as I want those feelings too.

How are you feeling?

PunkrockerGirl · 05/01/2015 20:03

Hi Tipsy. I just wanted to say that I really feel for you. I had one over 20 years ago and can remember it as if it were yesterday.

I promise it will get better. It sounds as if you need to increase your Citalopram dose, even allowing for the time it takes to kick in, it doesn't sound as if 10mg is doing the trick. 20mg is not a massive dose and its not forever.

I remember feeling so awful that I'd have given my darling baby away to anyone who offered to have him Then I felt guilty which in turn makes you feel worse. Gradually the antidepressants kicked in and I turned a corner. It will happen for you. Be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

PunkrockerGirl · 05/01/2015 20:04

Pnd not one

BabyOnBoob · 05/01/2015 20:16

PunkrockerGirl - thank you. I've not really got anyone other than my DP to speak to about it. He's lovely and a brilliant dad but I don't think he really understands.

I actually told him that sometimes if someone would take her away I would let them. He was really upset and said I act cold towards her (which I'm so ashamed to say sometimes I do).

It's just made me cry writing that as she's asleep in my arms and I absolutely love the bones of her.

Mumblepot26 · 05/01/2015 21:04

Baby, I have tried to post twice this evening but keeps being deleted. Just wanted to say the guilt and emotion you feel in relation to your baby would suggest to me that you are bonded, however you are unlikely to really feel that bond till you are your normal self again. Wishing you a very speedy recovery. I am doing much better, am week four of my antidepressants and feeling much more myself

BabyOnBoob · 05/01/2015 21:50

Thank you so much Mumblepot Flowers

I'm so glad you're feeling a lot better than you did x

Mumblepot26 · 06/01/2015 13:13

Hoping your first day on increased dose is going ok

BabyOnBoob · 06/01/2015 13:33

Thank you Smile today going ok thanks. Despite DD waking up every 2 hours through the night. I'm sure the constant broken sleep is also a factor.

Just psyching myself up for a walk with her in the sling.

How are you feeling today?

Mumblepot26 · 06/01/2015 16:58

Absolutely the sleep deprivation massively exacerbates things. Hope you managed to get out for a walk. But not to worry if not. I am doing ok thank you, my eldest was back to school today, nice to get a bit of structure back in the day. Hope you have a more restful night

BabyOnBoob · 07/01/2015 08:44

Thanks Mumblepot. Well I got her ready 3 times to go out but she was really grouchy so it didn't happen. I think she's teething as well so is extra, extra grumpy!

I feel a bit better today as we seemed to sleep better last night. DP was in the spare bed so more space for DD and I which was lovely for everyone.

I'm glad you're feeling ok Smile and that you can get into a routine again with your eldest being back at school.
Thank you for your support.

Mumblepot26 · 07/01/2015 11:51

It's a pleasure, do let us know how you get on. Xx

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 02/02/2015 22:49

Hi Baby

Was thinking about you. How you feeling? Any better?

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