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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Auriol Grey being jailed is not appropriate.

1000 replies

Finnyfanjango · 03/03/2023 11:47

I’m interested to hear the thoughts and reactions of others as to me given her cognitive issues and the fact she is partially blind, it just seems like such a sad accident, I can’t see why she was jailed.
I think what she did was awful, but it surely just highlights the lack of appropriate social care she clearly needed?

OP posts:
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13
BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:09

Swiftswatch · 03/03/2023 23:06

@BrigitteBond *No, she didn't behave like 'a complete lunatic'. She behaved like many people do, and particularly like they did in 2020. Many people (including me for a while) have behaved very oddly for the last few years.

I expect she was triggered by events - COVID, lawbreaking cyclists, stress of having to go to the supermarket in 2020, etc.*

Jesus Christ what have I just read.
She did not behave ‘like many people do’!

Did you never see people shouting at cyclists and joggers in 2020? Did you just stay at home then? It's well known that it happened.

Swiftswatch · 03/03/2023 23:13

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:09

Did you never see people shouting at cyclists and joggers in 2020? Did you just stay at home then? It's well known that it happened.

No, it’s probably just you and this woman.

It wasn’t ‘odd’ it was abusive and ultimately lead to an innocent elderly woman losing her life.

Perhaps you need some self reflection if you act like this and think it’s how many other people do.

OneTC · 03/03/2023 23:18

People were reporting conflicts on here daily during lockdown.

I personally saw people having big rows everywhere from the supermarket to forest paths, normally related to someone needing excessive space rather than people actually being close to each other

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:20

No, it’s probably just you and this woman

It really wasn't. Do you really not remember people crossing over the road or walking in the road to avoid passing within 2m, and then screaming when other people's actions made 2m impossible? You really don't remember the batshit crazy behaviour? Emphasis on not going out instead of not being inside with other people? Handwashing instead of good ventilation? Were you living on another planet?
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Swiftswatch · 03/03/2023 23:24

@BrigitteBond Emphasis on not going out instead of not being inside with other people? Handwashing instead of good ventilation?

What had that got to do with this woman verbally abusing an older woman and causing her to fall into oncoming traffic and die? Before swanning off to do her food shop like nothing happened.

Why are you trying to minimise this so much?

Bizarre.

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:34

Swiftswatch · 03/03/2023 23:24

@BrigitteBond Emphasis on not going out instead of not being inside with other people? Handwashing instead of good ventilation?

What had that got to do with this woman verbally abusing an older woman and causing her to fall into oncoming traffic and die? Before swanning off to do her food shop like nothing happened.

Why are you trying to minimise this so much?

Bizarre.

I'm not minimising anything, I'm putting in the context of October 2020, in the eyes of a vulnerable middle-aged woman. It was a scary time for many people but particularly scary for people who already had cause to consider themselves 'vulnerable'. And even the non-vulnerable went around screaming at people for invading their space.

oakleaffy · 03/03/2023 23:45

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:34

I'm not minimising anything, I'm putting in the context of October 2020, in the eyes of a vulnerable middle-aged woman. It was a scary time for many people but particularly scary for people who already had cause to consider themselves 'vulnerable'. And even the non-vulnerable went around screaming at people for invading their space.

This is someone who killed by pushing.

Why minimise someone who hogs a shared pavement and pushes, the woman wears clear glasses, can plainly see the slight, vulnerable older woman enough to shove her shoulder sending her into the path of an oncoming car.

~Said woman stomped off to dot her shopping without a second thought.
She's a very uncaring, unrepentant, aggressive woman who deserves to be banged up for what she did.

oakleaffy · 03/03/2023 23:48

Clearly a shove.

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:49

This is someone who killed by pushing

Yet she wasn't convicted of that. Is it the legal system that's wrong or could it be you?

freyamay74 · 03/03/2023 23:55

Ffs the excuses are pathetic.
The pandemic may have been a strange time but most of us managed without causing someone to die in a horrific way.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 03/03/2023 23:56

I'm not minimising anything, I'm putting in the context of October 2020, in the eyes of a vulnerable middle-aged woman. It was a scary time for many people but particularly scary for people who already had cause to consider themselves 'vulnerable'. And even the non-vulnerable went around screaming at people for invading their space

I think you're starting to reach a bit now. While I understand that Covid did elevate anxiety, she wasn't screaming about keeping distance, she specially told Celia to get off the pavement. Her barrister has since said that 'Grey's "present opinion is where the pavements are narrow the cyclists ... should cycle on the road".'

It was about the bike being on the pavement, not social distancing, and she's sticking with that line. Had there been an issue around social distancing and fearing for her health, presumably her team would have used that as part of their defence.

While I appreciate you sharing your experience, there is nothing that has been reported that suggests AG is autistic and I don't think it's helpful for anyone to diagnose her with ND (which has been done on these threads), nor to project their own experience and seek to justify her actions on that basis when her own team have not expanded beyond her having some 'cognitive impairment'.

steff13 · 04/03/2023 00:00

bellswithwhistles · 03/03/2023 14:37

? She's almost certainly autistic. Their brains work differently.

I honestly believe the cyclist was 100% at fault. Simply should not have been cycling along a narrow pavement having seen that a pedestrian up ahead hadn't moved to one side to accommodate you. Should have got off her bike and pushed it calmly down that narrow section.

If woman is autistic, she will simply see things as 'black and white - ie shouting get off the pavement because you're not supposed to be there. Yes rude/agitated/aggressive. But did she mean to kill her?

If she had meant to kill her it would have been murder, not manslaughter.

BrigitteBond · 04/03/2023 00:07

Oh dear. I'm not minimising anything. It's a fact that many of us behaved a bit weirdly in 2020. Her behaviour was exactly what was common in 2020, ND or not, CP or not. The whole country acted weird.

I'm not saying that's what it was, that it was definitely to do with the pandemic, but that behaviour was really common, even to NT people, at the time.

freyamay74 · 04/03/2023 00:14

The whole country did not do what Auriol Gray did.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 00:26

BrigitteBond · 03/03/2023 23:20

No, it’s probably just you and this woman

It really wasn't. Do you really not remember people crossing over the road or walking in the road to avoid passing within 2m, and then screaming when other people's actions made 2m impossible? You really don't remember the batshit crazy behaviour? Emphasis on not going out instead of not being inside with other people? Handwashing instead of good ventilation? Were you living on another planet?
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I think an important distinction in your examples is that those most worried voluntarily moved, they didn't cause someone else to which led to their death

Clymene · 04/03/2023 00:31

I'm very comfortable in saying that if lockdown were a factor, Grey's expensive defence team would have used that and we would know about it.

BrigitteBond · 04/03/2023 00:39

Clymene · 04/03/2023 00:31

I'm very comfortable in saying that if lockdown were a factor, Grey's expensive defence team would have used that and we would know about it.

I'm very comfortable in saying that you don't know they didn't. And also comfortable saying that even if they didn't they should have, unless they knew it wasn't true.

But anybody who wasn't happy overdosing on banana-bread and pan-banging in 2020 would realise it may well have been a factor.

BishopRock · 04/03/2023 00:41

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 03/03/2023 22:10

Do you know, I’ve just watched the video on sky news Twitter. And it actually does look like she pushed her. Like it really does.

I think it's a bit like a magic picture - once you see it you can't unsee it, but if you haven't seen it then you just think 'what the hell are they on about?'

I didn't see it at all the first couple of times I watched it, but then I full-screened it and zoomed a little and it was very apparent. Now I can't understand how I couldn't see it in the first place.

I think she was really lucky it happened out of frame otherwise she may have got a longer sentence.

BishopRock · 04/03/2023 00:46

BloodyMabel · 03/03/2023 22:43

Apparently there was a longer version of the video shown in court so I assume it isn’t clear whether she shoved her otherwise surely the first jury wouldn’t have failed to reach a verdict?

From what has been said about it, I think the longer video must show the aftermath, which was horrific, rather than expand on the part that happened just on the edge of the frame and outside it.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 00:49

BishopRock · 04/03/2023 00:41

I think she was really lucky it happened out of frame otherwise she may have got a longer sentence.

I think its hard to say definitively as she's already gesticulating, but it seems like there's a shove.

MolesEdgeworth · 04/03/2023 00:51

BishopRock · 04/03/2023 00:46

From what has been said about it, I think the longer video must show the aftermath, which was horrific, rather than expand on the part that happened just on the edge of the frame and outside it.

I agree.

I also think it is fair to say that the video available appears to show a push, but not definitively so, which rendered it unprovable at court (hence the focus on the aggressive shouting and gesticulating).

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 00:54

I said it earlier and I still dont really understand there's 1000s of posts on MN every week about people feeling unsafe doing stuff be it walking alone, or letting kids go to the toilet alone, we have a woman that's seemingly caused someones death and yet there's loads that want her walking free giving numerous excuses like the pandemic.

But if the pandemic is that much of a factor would you really want her back on the streets and running the risk she feels you or your loved ones are too close to her?

BrigitteBond · 04/03/2023 00:57

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 00:54

I said it earlier and I still dont really understand there's 1000s of posts on MN every week about people feeling unsafe doing stuff be it walking alone, or letting kids go to the toilet alone, we have a woman that's seemingly caused someones death and yet there's loads that want her walking free giving numerous excuses like the pandemic.

But if the pandemic is that much of a factor would you really want her back on the streets and running the risk she feels you or your loved ones are too close to her?

I'm the only one who mentioned the pandemic I think, and I think I made it clear I was putting it forward as a possible reason rather than as an excuse.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 01:01

BrigitteBond · 04/03/2023 00:57

I'm the only one who mentioned the pandemic I think, and I think I made it clear I was putting it forward as a possible reason rather than as an excuse.

Reason/ excuse does it matter? If that was the reason for it would you still trust her on the street around you or your loved ones?

Mouldyfoodhelp · 04/03/2023 01:01

Also I just used the pandemic as it was the newest one mentioned

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