Teachers don't have it as hard as my husband says he does

Your husband's attitude stinks OP. It's not teaching it's him. From what I've read he thinks it's unfair that he works full time even though your (slightly) lower hours means you do after school care of the DC's and more housework . Does he really think this is nothing, that it doesn't matter? This doesn't equate to more time for yourself if this time is spent on DC's and housework. I couldn't put up with a guy like this OP. lots of people have demanding jobs, he sounds clueless and selfish. Sorry.

I'm a teacher. It is tiring and draining but your husband is being an arse!

So his wife earns double what he earns, but in compressed hours that means she also does everything else in the house and at the weekends.

He should be thanking the lord for your earning capacity and for everything you bring to the table in this family!

I think he has a real problem with feeling gratitude. Some people do - because it means you have to recognise your dependence on someone else and that someone else has given you something good - you haven't auto-generated it yourself.

Hence this is why you get the martyr-ish script about how he has is so much worse than you. If he acknowledged reality he would have to know how much he depends on your salary and your efforts at home and with your children.

Most of the men I know are not like that at all. My husband was a teacher, he was never home from school until 5.30 as he did his preparation at school to have good time at home with me and the three boys.

@GoodChat

I meant teaching isn't as life-encompassing for anyone as he's claiming it is for him,

It absolutely is all encompassing. I was one for 20+ years. Not that I'm defending the husband in any way, I'm merely responding to this comment. It took up every evening and most of my weekends for many years. Ridiculous and totally unmanageable stress/workload in a small primary school. And no I absolutely didn't want it to.

He's asking for help. His job is both physically exhausting and he needs to de-stress at weekends. Perhaps you could help him to find an alternative career or as you earn more he could go part time and take on the childcare duties at home?

Shame you didn't ask him to mark your thread title before you hit 'Post.'

Goady thread. Well done.

Teaching is hard, but he's a dickhead.

So his wife earns double what he earns, but in compressed hours that means she also does everything else in the house and at the weekends.

She says she works 32 hours a week.

As a full time teacher he'll work around 50 hours a week, according to government data. So as he's working an extra 18 hours a week, naturally she would have more time to do things around the house.

His job is irrelevant - it is the not contributing to the running of the household or parenting that is an issue.

He seems to think it is some sort of competition against you on who works the hardest and trying to get himself absolved of his other responsibilities to his family.

He needs to manage his time better and work together with you as a family/parenting team.

He is just a bad selfish person. Bad vibes. Even if he had a free income for life he would still moan and whine about why he should be entitled to do fuck all.

I used to be a teacher (primary) and I had to give it up because no way could I manage 3 of my own kids and all their demands on top.
Hats off to people that do but for me I was doing both jobs poorly and would have got myself into an awful state with lack of sleep and stress.
If I was to teach full time then it would only be possible with someone else taking almost all of the slack of the house and kids off me.
So no, I don’t think your husband is totally unreasonable.
When you have been a full time teacher for 6 months, we can talk. Until then it’s difficult to know.

What do you do now? I think you've described most professional full time jobs. I was in another profession before teaching and I left that burnt out in a similar way.

Two teacher couple as well. Teaching IS hard work. We’re exhausted raising young children as well but we work as a team and pull through.

Your husbands attitude has nothing to do with being a teacher but everything to do with being selfish and entitled.

I still don't see where it says she does all the childcare and housework...

I think there is a fair amount of extrapolation and projection going on here.

I suggested it instead of teaching full time. Much reduced workload and it sounds like the OP earns enough to cover the bills as it is. It would also free up time during the day when the DH could retrain if that what he wants.

I’m a teacher (part time) and the job is hard, but no harder than most other professions I don’t imagine. My husband works full time in a full on job and honestly, he goes longer days and later nights than I do! I do get a bit annoyed at teachers bemoaning their lives when there are options. Class teaching - I’ll be honest - is a drag; hard work and no breaks, but you can climb the ladder and take on different roles. I love my job: I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I do more of the bits I enjoy than the bits I don’t.

I think your husband needs to think about what he wants to make of his career instead of moaning about it!

But what does he do IN THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS? Presumably his workload drops hugely those weeks whilst OP has more limited annual leave? Does she get the weekend lie in then? Or is he still claiming them all?

I’m a teacher (part time) and the job is hard, but no harder than most other professions I don’t imagine. My husband works full time in a full on job and honestly, he goes longer days and later nights than I do!

But that's because you're part time

Who knows, because the OP hasn't answered.

I'm sure this thread will run regardless.

When you have been a full time teacher for 6 months, we can talk. Until then it’s difficult to know.

Teaching is a stressful job no doubt about it. However, you could substitute the word 'teacher' in this sentence for a number of other professions.

A group of us had this discussion yesterday and while we all do very different jobs (although two of us work in education, one a teacher one an a academic) it was clear that they were all stressful in very different ways and we were all only managing these jobs because we are in relationships where both partners pull their weight.

The pity party Teachers throw themselves is SO boring. Nobody forces them to do that job.

I’ve had other jobs before / after teaching but none came anywhere near the level of stress.
My husband works as a senior manager in financial sector earning 3x what a teacher does and whilst it is stressful it’s still not the level of stress and sheer exhaustion that I found teaching a class of 31 6 year olds to be. In fact the actual kids wernt the problem and actually the workload of actual teaching time only made up 30% of the actual workload.
The main problem was I could never escape. Never. I was stressing and worrying about being observed and planning assessing and looking for resources from waking to sleeping 7 days a week. For years.

Oh, instead. I didn't get that. Good idea.

because the OP hasn't answered.

I know. Surprising , right?!