Note from MNHQ: please note OP's post @ 19.08 on 22 Jan. The OP has admitted this is a reverse but we are leaving this thread up so they continue to receive advice. Inheritance money - AIBU to be p*ssed off?

So, her mum died, her dad died, her gran died, her aunt is terminally ill and all her grandfather cares about is clawing money out of her hands? It's like Cinderella on steroids.

You all sound disgraceful and she's given more than she should've at 50%. The money is legally hers. All of it. She should run away from the lot of you.

It seems none of you understand how marriage works.

To give up 50% seems fair, unless I've misunderstood it.

That money was the ex wife's fair and square.

When she died without a will it all ended up going to the daughter meaning her grandchildren didn't get anything. The daughter has not offered to give up 50% which can go to the grandchildren. Thus restoring the position that the son would have got 50% if he'd lived.

It's the thinking that the it's still the FIL that is at fault here. It isn't. It was the ex wife's and her decedents.

Wow your poor SIL. Lost her mum, brother, has a terminal illness and now FIL is hassling her for money. Shame on him.

Of course he should get it all. 50% is fair, although technically it belongs to the kids. If he wasn't looking after the kids he'd get zero.

OMG not again. No the daughter was not thoughtful here. She initially took what was not hers to take and then she handed it back. Yes handed it back because it wasn’t hers, there was no gift. And in any case it seems she didn’t hand it back to the rightful owners (the children’s trustees) anyway.

Should NOT

YABVU.

At the point of divorce that money was nothing to do with your FIL even if it was earned through investments he made.

Why he and you seem to not grasp this I have no idea.

The 50% left to the daughter is still in no way anything to do with your FIL or the children.

I hope she blows the lot enjoying the last moments she has on earth.

I would advise your FIL to stop harassing a terminal cancer patient and start putting his efforts into finding out what benefits and help he can apply for from the government in regards to raising the children.

Sounds like it's not "all" he cares about as he's taken on two kids that no one else bothered to provide for.

Your FIL has asked for all inheritance money from his stepdaughter who is dying from terminal cancer, who has lost her mother, brother and SIL, and who has already given him 50% of the money which he had no rights to? Are you for real?! Your FIL is an entitled piece of work - the money was rightly his ex wife's when she died and has rightly been passed to her daughter on her death. Tell your FIL he is a money grabbing a-hole and to leave her well alone.

This

It's not how things work.

Their mother legally had money after a divorce that was set up at that time.
She has I think been incredibly fair to give 50 over as she would have had had her brother been alive.
The money has moved on now fil should let it go.

Does she have children? Will her money all come to her niece/nephew?

And what do you suggest the "a-hole" do with the children? Use his own pension on them?

That money should have gone to the children but obviously the GC are now being looked after in families by an older man.
I wouldn't begurdge him the money but he's got their half that's fair.

I honestly do not know how so many people think that this is an option. You cannot just take other people’s money because you think you deserve it.

The point is in the real world raising dc is expensive. Giving them a good life & some stability after all the trauma they have been through is more expensive.

I don’t think the children should go to whomever is willing to take them on the proviso they get to keep the orphaned children’s inheritance for themselves. Do you?

Where did I say that? I think it's reasonable the FIL requires financial assistance to raise the dc. I think its reasonable to use some of the dcs inheritance for that as opposed to relying solely on benefits. Yes. I think that is a better alternative to care. I also don't think the sister has been incredibly generous giving 50% to her nephews.

It's not reasonable that he keeps asking for

more.

The brother's children are not the aunts responsibility. She's kindly give half.

That's the right thing to do.

Yes, the DC are. Them, not FIL.
She's given FiL their share now when she could make provision for them in what her own will instead. The other 50% is hers to give to the cat shelter if so desired.
If DM hadn't died but son had and she ended up looking after DC, she would have had to get on with it - no option of asking for money from anyone

and all her grandfather cares about is clawing money out of her hands?

I don't understand how you can reach this conclusion. The FIL didn't have to take in his stepsons family after they struggled due to DILs death. He also doesn't have to raise the gc. Clearly he cares about them!

Quite honestly it wouldn't surprise me if he is only caring for them to get a hold of their money. He's not suggesting that the other 50% goes in trust to them, or asking for just a contribution to their welfare, is it? He wants ALL the money now to do with as he see's fit. He believes it to be 'his' money and looking after the kids is a reasoning to get at it.

It seems reasonably fair to me....it wouldn't be fair for step daughter to receive nothing surely? In this way both step children inherit 50/50 from their mother, in a round about way with her son's half going to your fil to care for the grand children. Surely if stepson had lived the money would have been split 50/50 between the two siblings anyway?
Unfortunately whether or not anyone feels the divorce settlement was fair is irrelevant.

@MuthaHubbard why are you assuming the aunt would have looked after her nephews & would just have got on with it?

Such a load of ignorance here. The children were entitled to the 50% of their grandmother's estate that would have gone to their father. Their aunt is not being generous in handing this over, she would have had to pay that plus court costs if she didnt.

FIL is bringing up children not biologically related to him - so he should, he was father to their father for years. He still deserves praise for not shirking his responsibilities. It's not easy to be a single parent and worse when older.

FIL is entitled to take money from the children's inheritance for their support. He needs to record what he's spending so ill-informed people cannot encourage the children to accuse him of theft. He shouldnt be pursuing a dying woman for money but perhaps he was hoping to use that money for the children's education.

It's a dangerous and pointless thought process. The ex wife wasn't working, only 6 years... lived off fil..her two dx not his...they divorced she was given x but really....she shouldn't have been given anything and fil wants it all back. Its his money,he made it, he was the main contributers....

What we don't know is mils side. Not that it matters legally.
She may have gone through hell ,been his skivvy who knows! Not that it matters but fils way of thinking and that narratives...is going to drive him mad.

This. And none of this is sisters fault either

this is why we’ve set up a trust so that our assets can be used now so that our children will have the same lifestyle as they do now. I’d rather they attend the same (fee paying) school, holidays etc now and less money when they grow up. I’m

Any old dinosaurs, agree but what's fair has happened.
.it's also fair that the daughter inherited from her mother. Her mother's could have spent that money she didn't.

That inheritance is hers.
She's handed over half and that's the end of it.