Note from MNHQ: please note OP's post @ 19.08 on 22 Jan. The OP has admitted this is a reverse but we are leaving this thread up so they continue to receive advice. Inheritance money - AIBU to be p*ssed off?

Before my FIL knew that he wasn’t receiving ALL of the money, he told her to retain money from the fund that she had loaned him when he was divorcing and nearly lost the house. He would not have told her to do this has he known she wasn’t going to give him the full amount back.

So when he was divorcing Wife#2, the house was worth more than half their joint assets so he borrowed money off his step-daughter to pay off her mother so he could keep the house? And he hadn’t paid her back before his ex-wife died?

Then ex-wife died and he thought he’d get all the ex-wife’s assets so told his step-daughter she could keep some of ex-wife’s money to pay off his debt to the step-daughter. But he only did that because he though ALL the ex-wife’s money would come to him?

So not only has he taken the grandchildren’s share of the inheritance for himself, he still has the whole of the house and hasn’t actually paid his step-daughter back the money she leant him so he could keep it?

Some of the anti-FIL here forget he's been supporting this lot for decades already. And as for the housework his Wife 2 did, she also got her keep, and her children's keep, in return for that. It's not like she was contributing anything substantial above and beyond the cost of feeding/housing/clothing/transporting/etc her and her children.

I think this is an object lesson in why anyone with substantial assets or earning power is a fool to get married. In this case the earner's stepchild's spouse is going to get more than his own offspring do, from his life's work. How is that fair?

How much was 50%

How do you work that one out? FIL kept everything from before his marriage. He only had to split what was earned during his marriage. Assets obtained during marriage are considered part of the marriage. This has always been the case.

Yes. That was his choice.

He brought in the money and she, likely, kept the house. She may have even worked part time. If he didn’t want that he could have not married her.

If he had substantial assets before they married, he must be really well off. Because he got to keep anything from before the marriage. She got her half of assets accumulated during the marriage.

Which she was entitled to since he decided to marry her and build a joint life with her, which included joint finances. he knew she had kids and was happy for the kids to view him as their Dad. But now people should feel sorry for him because he only has control over 75% of the marital assets plus what he had before the marriage.

Do you think OP's DH had to/will have to pay back to FIL anything he receives from his mother's estate when she dies? Seeing as she will have got some of his hard-earned money during their divorce also. Or is it only second wives who don't deserve the money.

He was married for 25 years. He kept his pre marriage assets and the wife - of 25 years - got half of the assets accrued during the marriage.

He had 50% that he can leave to his biological children. If he’s spent it that’s down to him.

Cribbing that his child (you know one of the ones he chose to be Dad to for 30 years…) is leaving money to her spouse is just vile. The fact his ex wife, his son and his daughter are both going to die young isn’t fucking fair… cribbing about the money (that his belonged to his ex wife would have likely spent had she not prematurely died) not coming back to him is just nasty.

Some of the anti-FIL here forget he's been supporting this lot for decades already. And as for the housework his Wife 2 did, she also got her keep, and her children's keep, in return for that. It's not like she was contributing anything substantial above and beyond the cost of feeding/housing/clothing/transporting/etc her and her children

is that actually your opinion of all SAHM’s and their ‘worth’? 😳

Did she legally have to give him any of it? I would say morally 50% of that money is the children's, no one else's.

Are you annoyed because your DH, the only “legitimate” child of your FIL, is getting none of this money?

That in fact your FIL’s stepdaughter and step-grandchildren are getting whatever is left over after his second wife has spent whatever she spent while she was alive, married to him and not?

What happened to the 50% your FIL kept upon divorce #2?

Your FIL left his first wife when your DH was quite young by the sound of it. 25 years - an entire generation - with his second wife (and not your DH), raising her children and his stepchildren while she fulfilled her side of the marital bargain in their marriage.

He was awful for ignoring your DH in all his financial planning. He just moved on without ensuring he had taken care of his first child. Your anger should be directed at him - nobody else.

Not sure why FIL is so many years later viewing it as his money. It stopped being his when the court order was made. He got a fair deal. Actually, arguably before that as they were married. He us lucky that his ex has such an understanding daughter... but the money is for the kids

Absolutely this

Also OP it has nothing at all to do with you so why are you so angry? EVEN if it were right that FIL get the money it is his. He isn't dead. He isn't your dad. You won't inherit it.

The aunt is now somewhat diminished in my eyes, as I did not realise she'd reduced the childrens' share by the amount owed to her by FIL.

So many questions .....

Why did FIL make no attempt to repay his debt to the aunt over the years?

Does he have a substantial history of mismanaging money?

Has he been subsidising OP/her husband for years/decades to the extent they have bled him dry?
Do the children get 'chucked back' in the event of no further funds from the aunt?

Again, I'm of the view these children need proper Guardians allocated via Court / Social Services to look after their interests, financial and otherwise.

It would be best for this to happen sooner than later whilst the aunt's funds are still intact i.e. before they pass to her husband/whomever she has named in her will.

Tbh, this entire tale sounds like something Dickens penned.

You need to read this OP. www.the-inheritance-experts.co.uk/what-happens-if-a-beneficiary-dies-first/

If the Beneficiary Dies After the Deceased

As long as the beneficiary [the step son] is alive for the time in the survivorship clause [28 days] their share of the deceased’s [Wife 2’s] Estate will pass to their [the son’s] Estate. This will then be distributed according to their Will or the Rules of Intestacy.

So, provided Wife 2’s son survived his mother by 28 days, in the absence of his Will saying otherwise, his share of his mother’s estate goes to his children - the grandchildren. Unless the son left a will leaving all his assets to his sister, it was never hers to give to your FIL - regardless of the fact he didn’t live long enough to claim his rightful inheritance. The grandchildren potentially have a claim of inheritance theft.

Your fil isn't entitled to anything. The children are entitled to their dads share of his mums money.

There marriage lasted 25 years, thats a good solid marriage and and money made, by whoever, is a marital asset. I can't believe you or your fil don't this is daughter is entitled to half her mums estate.

You are all being so greedy!

With two children to raise, if your fil only has small pensions he will be entitled to some benefits to help raise his grandchildren. He really shouldn't be using their inheritance for day to day living.

^^ this @snoozum
97% think YABVU are you happy to steal money from your nephew and nieces. What a horrible family

The daughter was the only surviving child of ex-wife #2

This simply isn’t true (unless the son died within 28 days of his mother). Wife 2 had two surviving children. It’s irrelevant whether her estate had been settled or not at the point he died. Therefore, legally, 50% passes to the daughter and 50% to the grandchildren. Note - none of it passes to your FIL.

he is not keen on his finances and personal affairs being subject to any investigation

You don't say.

However, he is not keen on his finances and personal affairs being subject to any investigation because he is a very private man

🤣🤣🤣 unfortunately for him, when the GC realise he’s stolen their inheritances, he’s going to find court appointed, forensic accountants all over his finances and personal affairs.

97% say you're being unreasonable.

Are you trying to convince us otherwise now? You don't really care what we think, then. We're not going to agree with you and in fact every new thing you add here either makes no difference to or makes your case worse.

Have a wonderful day.

I’ll just leave this here for you OP. You might want to forward to your FIL.

todayswillsandprobate.co.uk/naive-guardian-jailed-stealing-minor-beneficiarys-inheritance/

OP please can you tell us if the GC are OK

We are 20 pages in. Not one post agrees with you or your FIL. You are both grabby. And of course he won't want anyone looking at his finances. He will have to give the money to the GC.

Genuinely @snoozum are you taking any of this in? Wake up. You and your FIL are being grossly unreasonable. Please just make sure you do the right thing by those orphaned GC.

Quite

He has plenty of money, he's not sharing it with you guys because he's a wealth hoarding control freak and wants MORE.

Those poor kids, as if they haven't suffered enough.