Note from MNHQ: please note OP's post @ 19.08 on 22 Jan. The OP has admitted this is a reverse but we are leaving this thread up so they continue to receive advice. Inheritance money - AIBU to be p*ssed off?

No. The 50% should never have gone to FIL. That money belongs to those children. It's supposed to go with them. There is nothing stopping FIL from getting rid of the children and keeping the money now.

Someone will know the legalities but when an inheritance falls to minor children often the legal guardians do have access to use that money towards the care and keeping of the children. Since son was intestate when he died, there are probably specific protocols. They should do it properly.

He was a grown man who decided to marry a woman with kids, are you trying to say men shouldn’t be allowed to make their own free choices, or that the courts were wrong to give her anything on divorced based on your snapshot of their 25 years of marriage, you know better than the law?

People have already posted the legalities. That 50% is supposed to be in a trust for the children, which is accessible by their legal guardian to use for their needs. The children never received their inheritance. The money they should have received is now sitting in FIL's bank account and being called his money.

Wow what have I just read. She shouldn’t even be giving him 50%. It’s not his money, he isn’t entitled to it. He can’t ask her for her money. What’s wrong with you people.

So mother’s should pay for their own bloody kids, but fathers shouldn’t because they might have other bills to pay and women should think about that before going after maintenance?! Ok misogynist 😂

I can’t see how the children’s inheritance could be diverted to their auntie without some type of rigorous legal intervention but even then who would allow that to happen as a legal professional.

sounds like OP and DH is are to trying to gain back some inheritance for their selves.

Or as he wasn’t married he could have decided to travel the world and spent all his money himself.

No one knows what would happen if he hadn’t have got married. You can’t assume the same financial outcome, based on different circumstances.

Op hasn’t suggest that the fil was a bad father or prioritised his step kids. Or maybe I missed that bit.

I hope OP comes back to tell us how the DC are who FIL seems to be in charge of now.

Are FIL and DC getting any support?

I don't really understand how it can have happened quite like this. I would have thought the children's 50% would have some legal obligations on it i.e trust but with facility for the guardian to draw down for their upbringing because the gf in law should not have to use his own money to bring the gc up. It sounds very casual that ew2 daughter just gave the 50% to gf. It should clearly marked as gcs money and given to gc in trust. Can op say what legal professionals were involved in overseeing the intestacy handling. I'm sure some official offices must have been involved.

So she can leave her 50% to the children.

I wonder if OP and her DH consider what his mother got from her divorce as still his father's money, or if it's just the second wife who didn't deserve hers. (Even though that second marriage lasted a lot longer than the first one.)

I don't understand these types of money-grabbing families.

I have no idea how much ANYONE in my family has in their bank account or who is left whatever in whoever's will.

It isn't your FIL's money. How does he even know the DIL's situation or what she has in the bank? It's just weird.

And so crass.

She could of spent all the money right after the divorce as would of been her right then there would be no inheritance so really that’s how your FIL should be looking at it. Money that is not his and is gone. The Sister is incredibly generous to give 50% back so you should all be grateful for that.

So FIL is hassling the terminally Ill daughter of his ex wife for her inheritance from her mother ? .. have I understood that correctly ?!

I don't know if you intentionally or unintentionally have lost the plot but you seem to be actively contradicting yourself.

It's totally fair and she has been generous in goving back 50%.

I don't understand.

If her son hadn't died, he'd have got 50% and sister 50%.

Do you think she should surrender ALL of her inheritance? That's not fair.

YABU. Your dad doesn't have to take the children on. He's doing a good thing, and 50% should help. If he can't manage financially, there are hardship funds he can access as any other hard up guardians do.

*Such a load of ignorance here. The children were entitled to the 50% of their grandmother's estate that would have gone to their father. Their aunt is not being generous in handing this over, she would have had to pay that plus court costs if she didnt.

FIL is bringing up children not biologically related to him - so he should, he was father to their father for years. He still deserves praise for not shirking his responsibilities. It's not easy to be a single parent and worse when older.

FIL is entitled to take money from the children's inheritance for their support. He needs to record what he's spending so ill-informed people cannot encourage the children to accuse him of theft. He shouldnt be pursuing a dying woman for money but perhaps he was hoping to use that money for the children's education*

This. I feel for everyone in this family, they've all been dealt a particularly shitty hand, especially the children who have lost their parents.

It's easy to say that the FIL is grabby, but bringing up children is hard work, and very expensive, certainly beyond the means of most single pensioners. We're always seeing on here (and IRL) how hard and expensive it can be to bring up kids with two working parents, let alone one pensioner. He shouldn't expect any money from the aunt's inheritance, but I can see why he may need financial help from the kids' inheritance. However, this needs to be done carefully, and legally. OP, I think FIL should take legal advice on this.

Also, this women is having to process the death of her mother and brother in a short space of time.

You and your dad should be ashamed of harassing her over HER money at this time. You don't get much lower. Shame on you both.

No, morally 50% of ex-w's money should have gone to her son, and then been passed on to the grandchildren when he died. The other 50% is rightfully her daughter's to use as she pleases.

Therefore your FIL has no moral right to his step daughter's share, and the 50% that was handed back ought to be for the sole benefit of his step son's children.

Ex-wife #2's money was not your FIL's money. It may have been his originally, but it became hers on divorce. There is absolutely no basis on which her daughter ought to hand over all of her inheritance. Suggesting she should do so is totally unreasonable.

However, when ex-wife #2's estate was distributed, her daughter should have inherited 50% with the other 50% being split between her son's children. It is therefore absolutely right that the daughter should hand over 50%.

I think you have your answer loud and clear OP, YABVU.

The 50% belongs to the children, the other 50% to their aunt, that is right both legally and morally. Whether or not some of that 50% can be used for their upbringing is something to find out if FIL desperately needs it, but he better keep meticulous records or whatever is legally required (don't know what is the process in the UK but my minor DD has inherited and in my country I have to give account to the authorities on a yearly basis about what I have done with her money, whether I've used any for her upkeep or invested it or whatever to ensure I don't spend her inheritance on myself or anything unneccessary)

Agree with this. It has all worked out as it should - as long as FIL uses this 50% for the benefit of the grandchildren.