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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

-to 'persuade' my daughter that tampons are not evil? LONG sorry.

111 replies

oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 17:13

There's a backstory here! A bit graphic too, sorry. DD(12yo) has had periods for about 8 months. She came home from school earlier this week dying to get in the pool as she was so hot, I had to remind her she was still on her period.

Anyway she came downstairs a few minutes later in her swimsuit lookign all pleased with herself, I'd bought her a box of Tampax in case she ever wanted to try them, and all by herself she'd gone and put one in.

Three hours later and she came in for a shower, then yelled for me. She'd got the tampon out about half an inch and said it hurt to pull it, said it was a 'stinging' pain. Then she said she'd used a Super tampon (I got her a multipack). She was on day 5 of her period, so very very light.

I figured it was probably not ready to come out i.e. still a bit dry, but it was hurting as she'd already got it out a little bit.

Cue a very entertaining hour in the bathroom - I ran a bath, got her to lay in it and 'open' herself up, hoping it would soak the tampon. She was a little bit tearful because it was hurting but we still had a right giggle, the way she was laying there was like giving birth (she just did that subject at school) and we were making cracks about seeing its head, and whether it was a boy or girl). Anyway, eventually she managed to get it out, there was barely any blood on it at all.

She said it's put her off; but I would hate her to get it into her head that Tampons Hurt. I'm inclined to really try and persuade her to use one (a SMALL one) right at the beginning of her next period when it's really heavy, so she can see how easy it is to get out the 'right' way.

My friends think I'm mad and evil and should let her wait. I'm really worried that if she does, she'll never use one. She swims a lot, and goes to dance class, and absolutely FLOODS at night (enough to where she's started wearing Depends - she ASKED to), and I think tampons would really be a good idea.

I would never push her into something she's not ready for, but she actually used this one herself, so she obviously wanted to. I just don't want her to be 'scared' of trying a tampon again.

So, at the end of all that - AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 18:00

Well we did have a chat about why Super wasn't the best choice, it's just that her periods are very, very heavy in the first couple of days and she assumed that meant she needed Super all the time!

She knows now that she needs the regular ones, it wasn't getting it in that was the problem it was getting it out!

I hope she'll be willing to try again. I feel so sorry for her when she's watching her mates go swimming, and yet she can't even go out for the day without a huge supply of big towels and running to the loo every couple of hours.

I'm dreading the day she gets a sleepover at the wrong time; she completely floods a Super Nighttime towel before midnight.

OP posts:
diddl · 08/07/2010 18:04

Yes it was the impetus to swim & not flood the bed that got my daughter determined-and boy was she!

I don´t think I managed until 14-she would have been trying at 10 when her periods started!

BrightLightBrightLight · 08/07/2010 18:05

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Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 18:08

I use a Mooncup, DD asked a couple of years ago if she would have one when she started. I want her to be comfortable with tampons first - Mooncup is a bit fiddly and she needs to be used to something going in and coming out again, IYKWIM, before she has to shove her fingers up her fanjo and try to grab a slippery stump!

OP posts:
AuntieMaggie · 08/07/2010 18:09

OMG - i wish you were my mum - I had to convince my mum that they weren't evil as she wouldn't let me use them (I startd my periods at 12 too ) and so had to put up with those horrendous thick towels we used to have and they used to leak all the time as I used to suffer with really heavy periods!

I have many embarrassing memories of 'flooding' over night and in school

Perhaps get her to try one of the lightest ones when she starts her next period and wear a towels too? That way she can get used to them gently.

alibubbles · 08/07/2010 18:11

Playtex gentleglide tampons are good as they have a plastic applicator that is rounded and smooth, likewise Tampax Pearl or compact someone else mentioned.

Playtex do a very slim one and a sport one, DD much preferred them to Tampax

Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 18:13

Ooh good idea ali - I forgot they do slim versions.

OP posts:
diddl · 08/07/2010 18:13

Yes my daughter is very confident with tampons-but applicator ones.

I don´t think she like a mooncup as I don´t think she´d like to be putting her fingers inside herself.

MathsMadMummy · 08/07/2010 18:15

I think some people just find them more painful. I tried them when I was young due to heavy flow. OWWWWWWW.

Apologies if TMI but I was only able to use them after becoming, ahem, active!

Carbonated · 08/07/2010 18:16

I just don't think it's a decision you need involve yourself in. You've bought tampons and towels probably (I think it was a bit mad giving her a multi pack including super size without telling her that they when to use them - if at all at this age - she will still be tiny inside regardless of flow), you've explained it all to her, now leave her to work out what suits her best.

Word if warning re lillets at this age. I forgot to pull the string before insertion and it took a doctor 45 minutes to pull it out 3 days later. Young girls are usually very small and there is no room for error. I used to find them agony to put in and have no idea why DM bought them. Tampax were almost as bad but I everntually mastered the super super slim ones. These days I wouldn't use tampons but I don't think they make them in sofa cushion size anyway

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/07/2010 18:16

Ali, WTF is a sport tampon? Does it have an airodynamic shape and stripes down the side?

slushy · 08/07/2010 18:17

I found tampax unbearable as a teenager particularly the applicator one, I have always had a heavy flow so needed a tampon and st to get through a hour lesson, I prefer lillets much better and comfier for a virgin girl.

slushy · 08/07/2010 18:20

Also my mum bought me a pack of mini only for quite a few months .

sarah293 · 08/07/2010 18:23

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diddl · 08/07/2010 18:23

I think the applicator ones are better now though-the applicator end is also rounded-I remember when it wasn´t!

I also remember non sticky pads

QueenofDreams · 08/07/2010 18:27

I wasn't allowed to use tampons when I was young. My mother had a thing about the whole penetration aspect She also believes old wives tales about how they cause cancer.
She always bought me these hideous thick pads - it was like having a surfboard wedged in your knickers. I finally tried tampons when I was 18 and it made my life so much better (not exaggerating) Whether or not you're being U, your DD is lucky to have a more open minded mum who will discuss these things and respect her. Kudos.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 18:33

God I remember those hideous thick towels, I had horrible heavy flow when I was about 14 and I remember having to do PE with this huge pillow stuffed in my knickers, my friend told me it was really visible and she lent me her tracksuit top to tie round my waist

When I first used tampons, I would tie the string round my knicker elastic so it wouldn't 'get lost'!

OP posts:
sarah293 · 08/07/2010 18:35

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Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 18:36

OMG I am a terrible mother, I'm sitting here reading this and suddenly remembered DD's dance class is half an hour earlier tonight, I just shoved her out the door 3 minutes late already, dinner will be ready in 5 mins and I've just turned the stove off, hope it's still nice when she gets back!

OP posts:
diddl · 08/07/2010 19:12

I remember using a tampon with a plastic applicator which had "petals" at the end.

It was when they first came out-it pinched

What a variety there is in UK.

Here there are loads without applicators but have only found one with!

Butterpie · 08/07/2010 19:33

Do they still make those ones with a little thing of lubricant?

SleepingLion · 08/07/2010 19:39
MumNWLondon · 08/07/2010 19:47

My mum gave me a box of slim ones. Can see that if her flow is usually heavy this wouldn't work, but perhaps buy a box of thin ones and suggest she wears with a pad until she is used to them. Tell her to try them when her flow is heavy.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 08/07/2010 20:11

Oh it's not being a freak not wanting to use tampons, my mate hates them too.

Butterpie what ones with lubricant? I've never heard of them!

OP posts:
mumbar · 08/07/2010 20:36

Yeah lillets are meant to be better for a heavy flow as they expand sideways more.

Oops what a great mum you are and your dd's very lucky.

FWIW I danced too altho I was a late starter for periods (15) I did use tampons as soon as I could as st and ballet tights just don't mix!!! I felt uncomfortable but didn't have a mum who guided me. I do think just buying a box of mini or reg and some panty liners (carefree ones are brill) would be beneficial.