-to 'persuade' my daughter that tampons are not evil? LONG sorry.

[oopslateagain]

There's a backstory here! A bit graphic too, sorry. DD(12yo) has had periods for about 8 months. She came home from school earlier this week dying to get in the pool as she was so hot, I had to remind her she was still on her period.

Anyway she came downstairs a few minutes later in her swimsuit lookign all pleased with herself, I'd bought her a box of Tampax in case she ever wanted to try them, and all by herself she'd gone and put one in.

Three hours later and she came in for a shower, then yelled for me. She'd got the tampon out about half an inch and said it hurt to pull it, said it was a 'stinging' pain. Then she said she'd used a Super tampon (I got her a multipack). She was on day 5 of her period, so very very light.

I figured it was probably not ready to come out i.e. still a bit dry, but it was hurting as she'd already got it out a little bit.

Cue a very entertaining hour in the bathroom - I ran a bath, got her to lay in it and 'open' herself up, hoping it would soak the tampon. She was a little bit tearful because it was hurting but we still had a right giggle, the way she was laying there was like giving birth (she just did that subject at school) and we were making cracks about seeing its head, and whether it was a boy or girl). Anyway, eventually she managed to get it out, there was barely any blood on it at all.

She said it's put her off; but I would hate her to get it into her head that Tampons Hurt. I'm inclined to really try and persuade her to use one (a SMALL one) right at the beginning of her next period when it's really heavy, so she can see how easy it is to get out the 'right' way.

My friends think I'm mad and evil and should let her wait. I'm really worried that if she does, she'll never use one. She swims a lot, and goes to dance class, and absolutely FLOODS at night (enough to where she's started wearing Depends - she ASKED to), and I think tampons would really be a good idea.

I would never push her into something she's not ready for, but she actually used this one herself, so she obviously wanted to. I just don't want her to be 'scared' of trying a tampon again.

So, at the end of all that - AIBU?

[oopslateagain]

I always used lillets (before I discovered the mooncup) but I thought Tampax would be easier as they 'slim down' as you pull them out, the lillets just seem to form a huge plug! I agree that the lillets would be better in the long run, especially with her heavy days, but I hoped the Tampax would be easier for her to start with. I think I'll buy a box of lillets anyway, they do mini ones and I think she'd be reassured by the tiny size. Not sure how she'll fancy shoving her fingers in there but I'll have a chat with her tomorrow, make sure she knows that if she tries them out they HAVE to go far enough up or she'll feel them. Also a reminder to pull the string down first!

[ihavenewsockson]

I've always used Lillets as i didn't get on with Tampax.
Maybe a bit of KJ jelly so it goes in a bit easier, adn trying on a heavy day so it comes out easier?

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Tampax pearl are very easy to insert and they also expand sideways like Lillets. They have got a kind of gauzy coating which stops the fibres coming off and also they don't have that horrid drying sensation.
They do cost a lot more but they are the only thing I will use now.

[Heifer]

I'm another one whose mum wouldn't let me use tampons when I started because apparently I wouldn't be a virgin and they were dangerous!!!!

So not only did I have to use pads, but pads with hoops and a belt. THICK pads with hoops and a belt..

I remember the day we found thin pads, it was like going from wearing a wetsuit to a bikini

Also had massive problems with lillets. I remember being around 15 or so at a hockey tournament and suddenly came on. It was another parents turn to take us so my mum wasn't around, and friends dad had brought us, so I had to ask team mates (who most were a year younger and hadn't actually started their periods)... One girl gave me a lillet she had in her bag. Having never used before I didn't insert it properly and had to go and play several matches in agony! And had to wait ages to take it out.. I also remember having to travel home with nothing but a shed load of toilet paper in my pants. and worrying soo much that I would leak all over the back car seat!!!

I don't think I tried lillets/tampax for years after that.

[Heifer]

Crikey, what is it about MN that makes me want to share so much info.. would never tell this in rl!

[sillybillymummy]

YANBU
My mum would never have bought me tampons!
(or thin sanitary towels for that matter!)
She bought me Lidls cheapest thick pads.. GRIM

[oopslateagain]

at toilet paper in the knickers, not that I've ever had to do that of course

[Mumcentreplus]

My mum didn't actually say not to use tampons ....but she did say at my age you use pads...and I accepted that..didn't really want to use tampons until I got much older and mostly when i was away from home (ie scared about accidents)...I would not reccommend tampons for my DDs till they are older unless they are into sport also you have to be careful about TP..and not friggin Lillets ones with a plastic applicator!!

[deaddei]

My mother told me in hushed tones (think Les Dawson and "down below")- that tampons can get lost inside you.
Thank god for better informed next door meighbour- though at the first attempt I thought "these don't work too well"- I'd shoved the applicator up as well.

Oh the shame of Lilia sanitary towels and belts- like sitting on a lilo. I remember the boys calling them "jamrags"
When I was 6 I appeared at my mother's British Legion meeting in the front room, with a Lilia looped round my ears.
Got a good smack for that!

[diddl]

Glad I´m not the only one who remembers belts & loops

[Heifer]

Does anyone have any idea when stick on pads came about. I know I wore the belts for quite a few years before discovering the lovely think stick on (actually didn't stick on that well) pads....

Am now wondering if my mum deliberately kept this information from me

[Onestonetogo]

YABU, give her a break. She's a virgin, she doesn't know the inside of her vagina too well, she's just beginning to know her body.
Let her do this in her own time. It probably hurt because it ruptured the hymen?
She'll use tampons when she's a bit older, nothing wrong with pads for now.

And I remember a friend ( who's a surgeon) who told me that tampons can be deadly.
Let her choose for herself.

[oopslateagain]

Blimey onestonetogo deadly eh? Guess we're all for the chop then .

That would be Toxic Shock Syndrome. Which is well advertised right there inside the pack, on the instructions, in very BIG LETTERS.

And I suspect it would have ruptured the hymen on the way in, not out... if it ruptured it at all. The hymen doesn't cover the whole opening, and if a tampon can go in without rupturing it, it can certainly come back out.

I fully intend to let her choose for herself. But when your DC falls off their bike for the first time, you don't pack it away and let the fear develop, you plonk them right back on it. That's what I'm going to encourage her to do - to try again.

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

OH GOD! YANBU I havent used a ST in nearly 20 years! Bloody things were a nightmare! My mum never said yes or no to tampons, She bought me towels until I started to use her tampons, and I have never looked back!
When my dd gets her period, she will get the choice.

[NeverPushWhenItSaysPull]

But tampons are evil: scroll down to "the moral dangers of tampax".

[oopslateagain]

Neverpush Am going to find reasons to use Internal Tamponage in casual conversation tomorrow

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

OMG! Hockey makes you infertile!!!!!!...............Thank God Ive never played it!

[NeverPushWhenItSaysPull]

I once had a dinner party rant (after much, much wine) about the luxury rate VAT attracted by tampons. To be fair to the 82-year-old dad of one of my guests, he didn't turn a hair.

[NeverPushWhenItSaysPull]

(And the RC church wonders where its credibility has gone...)

[textpest]

You could take her multipack away and replace with tampax minis - they are very slim and easy to use. She might want to use pads as well in case she leaks though.

[melikalikimaka]

I'm so glad I have sons!

[TheSmallClanger]

I'd get her one of the Mini-sized packs and some Always. If she wants to leave it a while, don't push the matter, but someone that active is bound to get fed up with pads sooner or later, especially if she has heavy flow at night as well.

When I first started my periods, I always had trouble at night, and after an incident where my dad ended up clearing up blood off the bathroom lino, my mum finally let me have tampons.

[PurpleRhinoArePissed]

totally get her a mooncup

[diggingintheribs]

Haven't read whole thread so don't know if someones said this but regarding the swimming;

if her period was light she could have gone in without the tampax. If she cleaned herself first and went to the loo it would be fine as you don't tend to bleed in warm water.