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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that it is always unacceptable to call a woman a 'slag'?

163 replies

electra · 07/07/2010 19:19

I think it is hideous and reinforces the misogyny in our society.

Why do people do it?

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:44

exactly. so why debate it?

me - i think we are stupid. we should legalise prostitution and be done with it. i think some people are immoral regardless of how many people they sleep with. and some have morals and sleep with loads of people,
and whose business is it exactly?

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:46

x posts! sorry

clemetteattlee · 07/07/2010 23:49

Well, no qk because they are 5 and 2. That would just be weird.

I would hope that they would both eventually meet partners with whom they could share a life, but if they really wanted to have sex with twenty people a week until then (is that even possible?) then my role as a parent is to have taught them about safe sex, not to have told them that consensual sex is in any way "wrong".

expatinscotland · 07/07/2010 23:50

'when I am God or in charge of the whole world somehow I will strongly discourage use of words like promiscuity

it is just an utterly pointless concept that has no use at all'

Another nominee for Quote of the Week, IMO .

clemetteattlee · 07/07/2010 23:52

Pondering - trying to imagine my son as an 18 year old. Would I be happier with him having lots of sex, or with him cooped up indoors playing on an X-box (or whatever the equivalent will be) ...

qk · 07/07/2010 23:57

I disagree clemette. Your role as a parent is not just to deliver the safe sex talk and let them do as they please. Your primary role is to protect them and I believe that if you did not speak up when they were shagging at 20 partners a week, then you would not be protecting them. Condoms are not 100% - they could get HIV for a start.

qk · 07/07/2010 23:58

Well if he was 18 and having lots of sex with one person, then fine. But with multiple partners, no, I'd take the X box alternative.

MarineIguana · 08/07/2010 00:01

In my mind a slaaaaaaaaag is someone who shags a lot of people willy-nilly (so to speak ) without being in relationships with them. Male or female. Have to say I don't really look down on that though - their choice, and I didn't think I did it enough when I was younger! - and I wouldn't use that word in all seriousness, only in jest.

But I can't really see that it's inherently misogynist. Using it only about women, maybe that is - but not the word in itself. I have heard plenty of men get called it, just as many as women.

ifancyashandy · 08/07/2010 08:07

If my DD wanted to sleep with lots of people in her 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's it would be HER business - like my sex life is mine from my parents.

Do yours know how many you've slept with qk?

1footinfront · 08/07/2010 08:31

I think The HIV risk is wildly overstated, women and men can both use condoms at the same time to minimise risk further. The risk is using them incorrectly, in the main.

I hate the word, and in the past I have said it about myself,( how wrong!) but I truly believe no on should judge me for the amount of men I slept with, it was behind closed doors, no one saw, so why the hell is someone offended who wasn't even there and isn't part of my body?

It is so not like taking a shit in a public toilet with the door open as er, its private and no members of the public would see it!

QK "Well if he was 18 and having lots of sex with one person, then fine. But with multiple partners, no, I'd take the X box alternative." Clue, if hes 18, Id love to know how you anticipate being able to control your sons natural urges and control him to play the X box instead of having consensual sex with people he wants to ( and they want to)

Lovefrom 1foot

qk · 08/07/2010 09:07

ifancyashandy - actually my mum knows how many men I've slept with, so does my MIL and I know how many men each of them have slept with as well. None of us have only slept with one man, so don't go thinking any of us are sanctimonous angels! My mother and my MIL are my friends.

1foot - of course I don't anticipate being able to control an 18 year old boy - it was a hypothetitical situation where the question was put: would you be happier with the sex or the x box.

ReasonableDoubt · 08/07/2010 09:11

I'd hope that they use contraception to protect their health and never do anything they're not comfortable with.

However, once my kids are adults, they can do what they want. My mum had no idea who I was sleeping with once I left home, and that is the way it should be.

thesecondcoming · 08/07/2010 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

qk · 08/07/2010 09:33

well I'd watch out for your DP then!

thesecondcoming · 08/07/2010 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slushy · 08/07/2010 09:56

I hate the word because when directed at a girl it is used in a stinking dirty slag put down term . But when directed at a man it is a way hay you slag you jack the lad look how many notches he has got kind of term.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 08/07/2010 10:05

"well I'd watch out for your DP then!"

What an awful thing to say, you are talking about thesecondcomings best friend and husband! Just because she has slept with alot of men doesnt mean she has no morals!

clemetteattlee · 08/07/2010 10:11

I think it is clear that qk thinks casual sex is somehow "bad" and that anyone who enjoys it is a "bad" person.

ShirleyKnot · 08/07/2010 10:20

Not all women who have lots and lots of casual sex are doing it because they are empowered, strong, sexually free women.

Some women are damaged and confuse sex with love and are harming themselves by not using adequate protection and getting pregnant and contracting STD's. I have a friend who fucked 3 different men in one day, I was [shocked] when she told me because she hadn't used protection with any of them; and I'm sorry to say that she wasn't doing that because she was a free sexual being; she was doing it because her head was all over the place. (I wouldn't call her a slag though, although I would call her daft for running such a risk)

That is what I meant by something being "amiss" (I've drifted right off the point here)

clemetteattlee · 08/07/2010 10:22

I agree Shirley, and such women are also not "slags".
There are women who have lots of sex because they enjoy it, and there are women who have lots of sex because they are damaged. Neither of these deserves to be judged.

ShirleyKnot · 08/07/2010 10:27

OK, so just out of interest, was I an awful person for calling my friend who fucked my husband a slag and a whore?

(I called my husband worse things - but she was my friend not just a random woman)

And if so what terminology should I have used? Because "nasty person" just wasn't going to cut it for me at the time.

thesecondcoming · 08/07/2010 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vanillacupcakes · 08/07/2010 10:31

yanbu at all - and I get so annoyed that there never seems to be a masculine equivalent i.e. man may be called a "lothario" or "casanova" - but for me they seem to have positive connotations, whereas "slag" is just derogatory.

slushy · 08/07/2010 10:31

Shriley under the circumstances I think you can be forgiven for using the s**g word .

sunny2010 · 08/07/2010 10:35

My friends and I call loads of men we know slags. It isnt just for men or women. We call anyone a slag who has been with literally everyone you know eg at least 100+ or someone who repeatedly only goes for people in relationships etc. Nothing wrong with it I dont think

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