obviously I am and no wonder so many kids grow up petrified of the world

[ditavonteesed]

Just had a run in with a grandma in the park and I do not handle cnfrontation and I am sat here in tears.
Took puppy (very small border terrier, very well trained) and 4yo dd to the park for a bit of fresh air as feeling a bit down.
Puppy was running round with another dog and dd2, ran over to a toddler, I shouted her and she turned to come back, she didn't jump up or anything but toddler fell over, obviously not good balance skills, so I get puppy and put her on a llead and was heading over to say I am so sorry and give the ladsome money to buy the little girl an ice cream and perhaps let her have a fuss as puppy is very gentle and I didn't want her to be frightened.
lady just laid into me about how puppy should be on a lead and I am disgraceful etc, so I sayt I was about to give you money for an ice cream and apologise but you are rude, puppy is clearly safe I have my own small child, who is upset as woman shouting at her mum and puppy.
So I wlakaed off, got to top of park about 10 mins later (dog still onlead) and looked round and she is still sat cuddling this little girl, she fell very lightly on her bum.
Any2way there is no real point to this as I know you are all going to pile in and tell me IABU and I should keep my dog on a lead at all times and you are probably right.
I have no idea why I get so upset in these situations and wish I could handle confrontation.

Well, I wouldn't say she should be kept indoors, poor little thing.

Prob not aimed at me anyway, as I have twice stated that dogs that are likely to run up to children should be kept on leads at busy times.

I was more bemoaning the dog-loathing culture that seems to be becoming the norm in parts of the country.

and me again

when we did have our dog, she was never let ot run up to anyone else. people approached us/her (and have neverunderstood the randomness of runing up to strange dogs, but hey), and if we were in a shared space and other people did not mind her running about, then we let her. but we checked first.

no "let dog run and sort out issues later"

because it doesn;t take a lot to understand that, as with everyhitng, not everyone in the world wanted ot know our dog

booboodedoo,not realy aimed at anyone.

I just hate the over-generalised asumption that anyone who picks up their child when a dog comes near, or says soothing things ot a child when a dog is near, or who takes longer than 2 seconds to comfort a child who is upset by a dog, is clearly pandering to the child and raising a spoilt, demanding, whinging, scared of their own shadow child.

Op yanbu, you sound very kind and it was just a misunderstanding.
I was bitten by a dog as a child so can see both sides, but do think it's a shame that some children grow up scared of animals. Recently some young boys kicked their ball into my garden, so I let them in to look for it, and they all screamed when they saw my cat, which I though very strange!

OP YABU because your dog ran up to the child - you should not have had it off the lead near enough to other people for that to happen, or should have called it back sooner. as another poster said - call dog to you as soon as it even LOOKS like its going to run up to someone!

what would have happened if the little toddler had screamed at the dog and startled it, or if she hit it? the dogs reaction cannot be guessed at.

and maybe the cuddle 10mins later was for another reason, not related to your dog - perhaps she had had another little bump and needed consoling - you alos don't know the child/granny/family history - there may be very good reason for her to be wary of dogs

justonemorethen any dog DOES have the POTENTIAL to turn nasty though- remember the woman whose dog bit half her face off IN ITS SLEEP - and many a family pet has suddenly snapped and gone for the very children it has grown up with.

I do not think it is about being allowed to be terrified of dogs or not, fear cannot always be explained. The problem is about a minority (maybe) of dog owners who when asked to call their dog back when scaring a child do not do so on the ground that their dog "will not do anything to them". I think one of the reason my children are scared of dogs is that so far their concern has not been taken into account by the dog owners. When one just looks at a crying scared child saying "my dog will not arm you, he is just friendly" my Dcs understand " I do not care at all that you are terrified, my dog can do what they want!" and now they totally distrust dog owners.

I will never understand why the need of insisting the dog will not do any arm (when in actual fact it actually already is, it is scaring a child) instead of just calling their dog back.

Once Dh was carrying dd4 in a park (she was about 1), a dog sarted jumping on him and barking at dd. The answer of the owner when asked to call her dog back ""she is just a bit jalous because she would love to be carried as well"" FGS woman just call your dog back!

Yes, it does sound silly and annoying when people keep saying 'he/she won't hurt you' but it's not just a case of being complacent it's also about being concerned for the child in fear and trying to calm them. As a dog owner the reaction of people is so unpredictable that sometimes it's hard to know how to react. Take the other day - I went to a beach where there are 'dog-free' and 'dog-friendly' areas. Obviously went in the 'dog-friendly' but a woman there stared and stared at us for a good half an hour. We all assumed she was giving us the evils because of the dog and eventually I called over, 'he's allowed on this bit of beach'. She walked over and I thought 'here we go, anti-dog rant'. She said 'I just can't take my eyes off the dog - I used to have one the same and I really miss him!'

I think the OP has fully accepted that she was wrong to assume the other woman was being over-protective and that we've no right to judge the child's reaction. She admits she overreacted in response to this woman's anger. I wouldn't make light of anyone's fear - the meter reader came the other day and he was plainly terrified of my dog to a degree that was really not funny to see. I am pretty phobic about spiders.

Btw - if your catatemygymsuit then I'm not suprised those kids screamed!

It's really simple. Don't let your dog touch or chase other people without their permission.

Apart from any danger if they really want dog hair and drool they can buy their own.

Blackberryway!
The cat is terrified of children!
Actually I am phobic of spiders so I have no right to criticise either.

Well said BeerTricks

Beertrickspotter, I have never said that you shouldn't exercise your dog. I am well aware how much exercisesome dogs can need.

I was merely pointing out that nt all parents are ridiculous over protective types. Sometimes, they are jsut trying to calm a very scared child.

I also think the OP handled the original situation pretty well. the ony bit I take issue with, and one that you have now repeated - even 1 out of 10 times is not ok if by that oyu mean your dog is approaching other people uninvited.

It just is simply unacceptable. you should have your dog under complete control at all times, and should be monitoring the situation to ensure this is so. (SPeaking as a former dog owner there. If my dog so much as looked over at other people she was reminded not to go there). If you cannot manage this, then you are being an irresponsible dog owner, whether you think it or not.

Fio it would appear so!

oh, and those who say there are ways to deal with phobias - what the hel do you think we've been doing for the last 4 years?! have you not read any of my posts? I used to own a dog, who I loved very much but have had to re-home. NOt a decision we took lightly. It is hard (bordering on impossible at times) to reason with a child who cannot reason. dd1 has ASD, and is often irrational. If she could explain her fears to us properly, we might have better success at dealing with it.

op YANBU This old woman was being totally ott, god help the poor child , Just ignore the situation.You acted very kindly, sadly there is just no pleasing some people.The child that was with her will grow up in a cocoon and be very underskilled in dealing with future life challenges imo.Don't let some bitter twisted cronies attitude ruin yours,your dc, or your puppies day

What sort of child is frightened of a puppy anyway? weird if you ask me.All the children I have ever known wouldn't be able to pat a puppy quick enough.

yes, darkandstormy, my dd is claerly just weird

I assume you meant 'crone' darkandstormy not 'cronies'? In which case I would like to belatedly add my vote in with pagwatch(pg 1) for an end to these unpleasant words to describe an old woman.

silverforg I really have yet to meet a child who is scared of a puppy, I am quite amazed actually.
BLACKBERRY anyone who is as miserable and nasty as this woman sounds deserves no niceties imo.

Border terrier puppy as well so tiny.
DITA Honestly ,please don't be upset at this you are a very nice person.I certainly would not shed any tears.Treat yourself to a nice big ice lolly

I am terrified of dogs (was badly bitten aged 3) As a result I don't visit open spaces on my own where there might be a dog off a lead. But in parks I think they should be on the lead.

I have sometimes asked an owner to put dog on a lead while I walk past if I'm very scared. But wouldn't hang around.

YANBU in this instance, but please do remember that not all people have had great experiences with dogs & you must accept that even a puppy running up to some people can be frightening. Clearly you felt guilty as you rushed over to offer ice cream!

DD 2.5 is terrified of dogs, well of any animals really. I don't know why - I love them. But most dogs in our area are those fighting breeds with young guys so I don't mind for now that she is freaked out by them - every reason to be wary.

And for every person bitten by a dog, there's an owner going "don't know what came into him/her - never done that before" which is exactly why people are freaked out when dogs run towards them, and why they don't like dogs/puppies running up to their young kids.

Re the toddler still crying 10 minutes later - you don't know what else went on in her day did you. Might not be all about you.

I had a problem a bit like this when I was a nanny and I had just had dd1 a big dig ran and jumped up on the pushchair and licked her hand I was so scared and cross. The dog owner apologised and over the year we did get to know her very big dogs. she suggested I thought my three charges to stand still if they were worried by a dog which was great. It is a local park that we had to walk by every day. A park is for everyone the dog can't go in the children's bit but they do have to be able to run in the rest of it.