obviously I am and no wonder so many kids grow up petrified of the world

[ditavonteesed]

Just had a run in with a grandma in the park and I do not handle cnfrontation and I am sat here in tears.
Took puppy (very small border terrier, very well trained) and 4yo dd to the park for a bit of fresh air as feeling a bit down.
Puppy was running round with another dog and dd2, ran over to a toddler, I shouted her and she turned to come back, she didn't jump up or anything but toddler fell over, obviously not good balance skills, so I get puppy and put her on a llead and was heading over to say I am so sorry and give the ladsome money to buy the little girl an ice cream and perhaps let her have a fuss as puppy is very gentle and I didn't want her to be frightened.
lady just laid into me about how puppy should be on a lead and I am disgraceful etc, so I sayt I was about to give you money for an ice cream and apologise but you are rude, puppy is clearly safe I have my own small child, who is upset as woman shouting at her mum and puppy.
So I wlakaed off, got to top of park about 10 mins later (dog still onlead) and looked round and she is still sat cuddling this little girl, she fell very lightly on her bum.
Any2way there is no real point to this as I know you are all going to pile in and tell me IABU and I should keep my dog on a lead at all times and you are probably right.
I have no idea why I get so upset in these situations and wish I could handle confrontation.

and yes, I am very angry with the owner despite her heartfelt apologies.

Our council has banned dogs from the main beaches in Summer under the threat of a £2000 fine (because of the shit, not the jumping up at toddlers thing). It's such a shame that all dog owners should suffer because some people are crap (no pun intended). It also means that some of the beautiful glens (our version of National Parks) here are now full of dog shit as people can't walk on the beach with their dogs.

20 years ago, I was sitting quietly watching tv with my own lovely dog sitting next to me. He was seven, a Weimeraner, a big, beautiful, slightly neurotic hound (they are bred for hunting elk, not as domestic pets, but my then DH had him before I came along) who used to sleep on our bed and was so protective of me he'd whimper outside the loo when I went for a wee. Two minutes later, I was on the floor in a pool of blood, exDH had knocked the dog out with a punch and was pressing a towel to my face and crying. The dog had turned on me for no reason, sunk his top teeth into my eye and his bottom teeth into my jaw, I still have a hole in my back tooth where his tooth went through my jawbone and into my mouth. He had ripped my eyelid almost completely off, and my cheekbone was visible where he had ripped off the flesh. We had to wait hours for a specialist surgeon to come to A&E because none of the doctors there would stitch me up for fear of me losing my eye completely. When I woke up the next morning, the dog was standing by the bed leaning his face on my pillow to lick my stitches, all 36 of them. Ten months later the scarring was still so bad that I was in a lift once and when the doors opened and a woman who had been waiting to get in screamed and asked if she should call an ambulance. Ex H didn't have the dog put down when it happened (a big part of why we got divorced), only a couple of years later, when it savaged FIL's hand. I still have a slight scar under my eye, but thankfully, am not disfigured. But, I am not scared of dogs. My 3 year old DD, however, is very scared of them for no apparent reason. If a little puppy bounded up to her in the park it would take more than ten minutes of cuddling and comforting to get her over it. This child's granny was probably just dealing with the fall out from inconsiderate dog owners who think it's ok to inflict their pets on everyone. It's really not, you want a pet, fine, keep it on a lead when there's children around ffs.

Phlebas - That's really awful. Sending v. unMumsnet hugs to both you and your daughter. I hope her surgeries and recovery goes well.

Holy crap sevenkey! How awful

Oh phlebas - now I've just read your post

my mum was crippled by a dog doing this to her, she fell badly. The owners ran away, while she had to have a major operation.

Keep it under control. Your dog does not have the right to wander about freely.

phlebas, sending you love and strength. I know what it's like to have a child in hospital, mine was in GOSH for almost 3 months xxx

Dita- I've only read the first twenty or so posts, and imagine that things have descended or moved on, but I don't think you did anything wrong

She did, actually, she let her dog off the lead in a place where children were playing, then berated a poor woman who was trying to compensate for her selfish actions by comforting her grandchild.

Well-behaved dogs like this one are an asset in public places, by showing children the fun and joy of pets, and the grandmother caused the issue by getting hysterical, from what I understand of the situation.

Phlebas, I hope everything will go well.

Stories like yours are just confirming I am not completely "demented" to refuse to trust people who assure me their dog would never hurt anyone.

Two of my Dcs are terrified of dogs because they have been put to the ground by some "very gentle dogs" In the case of one of my sons, the dog was so big and strong, even though he was on a leach the lady owner could not get him off DS. If people really want a dog, they could at least make sure that they can controle them.

phlebas really hoping everything is ok. you must be beside yourself. sending you all my thoughts x
sktms how terrifying.
I am in no way trying to defend my puppy, in fact I have said from the first post that I was unreasonable. I have been out at 6.30 this morning to the park to do some training, if I take puppy out in the day it will be on a lead.
And on another subject I would never leave dog poo anywhere and am constantly disgusted that people feel they can.
The reason we got the puppy in the first place is to help me recover from depression, get me out when I am feeling trapped etc, dogs can bring a lot to people although obviously the stories on here are very tragic.
As soon as the shops open I will be going to buy an extendy lead so that I can continue to enjoy my puppy. I am sorry if my post has caused further upset to people.

Ditavonteesed, I genuinly do not think that your post in particular has caused upset. I think what happened is that your post has just made bad memories of much worse events come back and that is what is upsetting. I think on the scale of reasonable dog owner you score quite well, you called your dog back and you attempted to appologise which is much more than the people I have been confronted to in the past usually do. A lot of them not being able to understand why a child could be scared of a dog do try to insist on their dog being nice instead of just calling the dog back.

I hope you carry on enjoying walking your dog.

Dita, I think you behaved reasonably. Your puppy was trained, didn't touch the child or knock them over. The granny over reacted. Maybe an extendable lead would be a good idea to avoid the hysteria about dogs in public places.

It does make me slightly that people think it;s ok for kids to run about and touch dogs etc etc but not vice versa.

Not all dogs are killers, and we need to ensure children are comfortable around dogs by trying to reassure them that a dog means no harm but to respect them and their space etc.

Give your puppy from me!

Dog owners are ALLOWED BY LAW to let their dogs off leads in certain places.

I take our dog to a local country park. There is a gated, secure childrens playground. I would not dream of taking my dog in there. But other areas where it is wild and woody? Abso-bloody-lutely.

Can I recall her? Yes. Do I keep her on the lead when there are kids around the wild and woody bits? No. Have kids come running up to her wanting to stroke her? Yes. Do the parents go 'Awww - isn't she cute'? Yes. Would they be cross with me if I told them to keep their kids under control so they don't run up to strange dogs? Of course they bloody would. Can't have it both ways....

We have a right to exercise our dogs so they don't turn into frighted, aggressive beasts.

OP you did nothing wrong.

(I should not read these threads....)

Well said ifancy!

there is no legal right to have your dog off a lead, that is absolute nonsense. That's not say that you can't, but the idea that you have some positive right to do this is ridiculous.

Hi Dita

We got a BT three years ago.

He has magic powers!

He's helped my own children and a number of other children start to become more confident around dogs.

Enjoy your dog - he'll do wonders for your mood and, unlike the kids, he'll be grateful for all you do with and for him

Recall is, for me, the single most important command for a dog to learn. The problem with BT's is they have a bit of a belligerent streak, so you've got to really stick with the training.

Hiding behind trees etc worked really well with mine and also, a dog whistle, as well has verbal commands and hand signals. Praise EVERY time he comes back (with a treat at the puppy stage). By having THREE means of recalling him, I found I stood a better chance of winning over his belligerence.

Doesn't work with the children and DH though - tried hiding behind a tree on them and they just boogered off and left me

Not ridiculous SomeGuy. There are designated spots (growing fewer by the year) in which dog-owners have a right to let their dogs off the lead, as long as they have 'reasonable control' (i.e. the dog will come when called).

Sorry to hear about the terrible attacks experienced by a couple of you on this thread.

However, in response to those of you who use these examples as confirmation that you are right to be terrified of all dogs...

I have never been attacked by a dog.

However, I have been attacked by boys/men on three separate occasions. Once on the bus, and twice in my local park.

Would it now be reasonable of me to see treat all men as dangerous? Should they all be kept on one-meter leads and muzzled?

Not following my own advice now.

Step away from the thread...

YANBU.

Dogs share the planet with us as do spiders snakes,birds and all the other things we are scared off (can't even look at a slug myself).

Think people who are scared off dogs should get over themselves. And who came up with the "all dogs can tu"rn vicious thing"? Like the "all men are rapists line it's complete tosh. Some might but plenty of breeds are soft as you like.

Think it's cruel to keep an animal tethered all the time as well, good training is the best thing. As with most things though it's not the dog it's the owners, kind sociable owners like you will have kind sociable dogs.

the thing i object ot most about this thread is the huge assumption that the granny was being over fussy/pandering/setting up a future phobia for the girl

I completeky agree she shuld not have shouted, that odens't help any situation.

BUt maybe the fact that it took more than 10 minutes to calm the child means there is something else going on? maybe the girl is already phobic.

I posted reasonably early on (and I was not the only one) to explain that this would have been the case with my dd. I am not anti dogs. we used ot have one. I now have a dog phobic child, and it is very difficult walking through a park without her getting scared by a dog which runs towards her. For her, it matters not whether the dog actually touches her or not.

I say again, the granny should not have shouted, but pleasecan we stop with all the "oh that is so precious. some people need ot get over themselves" type comments. sometimes it is a big deal already - whether a Rottie or a terrier puppy

oh and btw, by "scared by a dog" I mean literall wetting herself, scared rigid, cannot move type of scared. still talking aout it weeks later kind of scared.

BUt I guess you'd all say she should be kept indoors