obviously I am and no wonder so many kids grow up petrified of the world

[ditavonteesed]

Just had a run in with a grandma in the park and I do not handle cnfrontation and I am sat here in tears.
Took puppy (very small border terrier, very well trained) and 4yo dd to the park for a bit of fresh air as feeling a bit down.
Puppy was running round with another dog and dd2, ran over to a toddler, I shouted her and she turned to come back, she didn't jump up or anything but toddler fell over, obviously not good balance skills, so I get puppy and put her on a llead and was heading over to say I am so sorry and give the ladsome money to buy the little girl an ice cream and perhaps let her have a fuss as puppy is very gentle and I didn't want her to be frightened.
lady just laid into me about how puppy should be on a lead and I am disgraceful etc, so I sayt I was about to give you money for an ice cream and apologise but you are rude, puppy is clearly safe I have my own small child, who is upset as woman shouting at her mum and puppy.
So I wlakaed off, got to top of park about 10 mins later (dog still onlead) and looked round and she is still sat cuddling this little girl, she fell very lightly on her bum.
Any2way there is no real point to this as I know you are all going to pile in and tell me IABU and I should keep my dog on a lead at all times and you are probably right.
I have no idea why I get so upset in these situations and wish I could handle confrontation.

right alarm shall be set for 6.30 tom for early morning recall training in the park. I figure at 6.30 the only people we are likely to meet are people walking dogs.
We do usually get mobbed by children wanting to fuss her (and teenagers who go all squeaky and high pitched).
Walking will have to be with just me and not dc until she is older.

YABU Keep your bloody dog on a lead !!!

The teenagers are so funny aren't they - even the boys stop trying to look hard and go 'so cute!' Sounds like you've got a good plan there - recall is the key thing, make sure you've got some nice rewards!

Hope you are feeling a bit less down now and won't let this little upset spoil your enjoyment of the puppy - they are a great source of affection and socialisation for you and the dc.

A late vote for pagwatch. I think all the 'old bag' stuff is really, really ugly.

mamalovesmojitos - I could have written your post almost word for word as my 4yo DD is terrified of dogs after being sent flying & licked by a golden labrador that came out of no where (off a lead obviously) in the park when she was a toddler. She freaks out if a dog goes anywhere near her now & hides behind me if we pass one in the street. What can be a very innocent "dog knocks toddler over in park" can have long lasting consequences...

Some dog owners are great & are very understanding, but some dog owners really don't help with the "it's ok she won't bite" approach, not it's not okay actually, my DD terrified to have a dog anywhere near her

I grew up with a family dog and am not at all frightened or paranoid (although of course sensibly cautious with unknown dogs) so she doesn't get it from me. My lovely next door neighbour; who has the softest spaniel ; is helping DD to take the first steps overcome her fear by getting used to being around her dog, it is taking a long time...

I think the snake analogy is a really good one - I had a friend who had a boa constrictor and dropped it on my lap once at a party and I'm scared of snakes. Didn't matter that it was a "friendly" snake that had never hurt anyone and was very used to being handled, I was terrified.

Can all the people who think that people who don't like dogs bounding up to them are being silly honestly say they would be happy if someone else's snake/rat/tarantula was all over them uninvited?

'Can all the people who think that people who don't like dogs bounding up to them are being silly honestly say they would be happy if someone else's snake/rat/tarantula was all over them uninvited?'

I'll let you know at the end of the summer.
Watch out for a gorgeous cornsnake on the news.

I'll be fair, I'll only test out owners of bouncy dogs. When their dogs are away and bouncing at other people,so that my snake doesn't end up a chew toy.

'Dogs running about loose are a hazard that you just kind of have to live with.'

What if we don't want to?

YANBU, what an OTT reaction from this lady

A puppy running round a park? Oh dear, terrible, awful, outrageous, should be on lead, no hang on should be shot.

Toddler cried because she fell over, not because of the dog. THe dog did nothing wrong, neither did the OP. People are hysterical about dogs. Its their problem not the dogs.

BTP: You are flogging a dead horse with this one.

There is an MN regular who actually advocates a ban on dog-ownership except for guidedogs.

When asked how she would deal with the huge number of dogs currently in existence in private homes, she indicated she would not be averse to a mass culling.

Even more worrying, lots of people seemed to agree with her.

I suggest stepping away from the thread and going to give your dog a hug.

What many dog owners seem incapable of understanding is that many people are scared of dogs. If you're not used to them, what you see is something that moves quickly, that has certainly bitten children in the past, that has killed children, that is unpredictable, that is often at least twice the size of your child, etc. etc.

And yes, I KNOW this is insane, most dogs are lovely and harmless, and your dog would never harm a fly - but still, the above is what many people's instinctive thoughts are. You can't blame them, you can't expect them to rationalise the thoughts - what you should do is show some respect and courtesy, and understand that it is not OK to impose bounding, leaping animals on small children.

And dita - yes, the dog should have been on a lead. But you tried to apologise and handled it well - no need for tears .

Wasn't warning you, just that I've learned not to bother too much when threads get a bit dog-bashy.

Fight away if you've got the energy!

FWIW, I think it's dreadfully sad that a species which has helped us and been in thrall to us for thousands of years should be viewed with such repulsion by so many.

Agree hassled that many dog owners seem to expect far too much indulgence from people but I think a lot of that comes from the fact that so many people are very indulgent of dogs. The generally negative MN attitude is really not representative of my experience since getting my dog a year ago.

I have had a baby and a puppy and I can tell you that I got far more attention with the puppy than with the baby. Grown men would cross the street to coo over the puppy and ask all about him and even now he's fully grown strangers will still come up to chat about him and give treats and share their memories of childhood dogs. It's true that many people are scared of dogs but many more have massive affection for them and perhaps that's what makes a lot of dog owners a bit too commplacent (me not being one of them )

It is not compulsory to like dogs. I don't see any point in getting my dd to like dogs if she doesn't. She will grow out of it but I cannot really be bothered to waste any time trying to speed that process up.

Most dog owners understand and are considerate to control their animals around little children.

People not liking bounding jumping dogs is one thing.

People being irationally terrified of all dogs regardless of whether they are on leads and transferring that fear to their children by crossing roads/picking up children etc are bloody ridiculous.

A couple of years ago I was walking down my street with my guide dog, in harness, fully under control and doing his job, when we happened upon a woman with her toddler. The toddler didn't cry, didn't appear to be distressed, made mention of the dog, but the woman instantly picked him up and said "oh, let's carry you so you don't have to walk near the dog." She proceeded to carry him the whole way down the street.

Now there are occasions when I will make allowances for fea of dogs, if I'm in a shop for eg and standing in a queue where there is a tiny tot who is smaller than my dog and seems afraid I will move him to my other side, although generally the parents will encourage the child that it is a friendly dog. Recently I walked into the shop and there was a boy of about 8/9 who was clearly autistic (he reminded me strikingly of friend's ds who is severely autistic) and was clearly reacting to the dog as he let out a high-pitched scream as soon as we approached. I did turn around and went to a different part of the shop as I do appreciate that the mother might not be able to reason with the child in the same way as one perhaps could with an nt child, and that she also perhaps didn't want to have to deal with a meltdown in the middle of the shop.

But parents, or grandparents who practically encourage their children to be afraid of dogs are just idiots.

Be aware of them by all means. Teach them that you don't go and stroke a strange dog without consent from the owner. Teach them that animals can be unpredictable and that they should have a healthy respect (not fear) for all animals.

Teach them all those things, but the rest....

My daughter was knocked off her feet by an over friendly border terrier whilst we were walking on the beach. After that it took us 2yrs of constant reassurance and visiting people with dogs to stop DD screaming in fear every time she saw a dog out in public. I got sick of people saying that their dogs were only being friendly when I'd have to lift DD out of their dog's way, as they came bounding up to us. DD was so frightened and this fear was caused by someone else's irresponsibility.

I'm used to dogs and really, really love them, but people just don't seem to realise that their dogs shouldn't be off the lead if they don't respond to a call to heel.

Oh and I won't even go into the amount of dog shit that is round here

BTP that must have been lovely for the old man.

Dog shit. Oh my god. Before the dog I had many a stand up row with dog owners who didn't clear up their mess (as far as I'm concerned it is their mess!) and now I'm a dog owner...I still have those rows.

There is never an excuse for not clearing up and I'm amazed that councils don't put more effort into clamping down on people since everyone agrees how loathsome and antisocial it is.

'Dogs running about loose are a hazard that you just kind of have to live with.'

Why?

I like dogs, we've kept dogs, my children love dogs & aren't in the least bit scared of them.

I'm posting this from the bedside of my 9yo dd, on a paediatric surgical ward where she is recovering from the first of potentially three surgeries to repair the damage done by a 'totally docile' 'harmless' 'friendly' 'good with children' 'wouldn't hurt a fly' dog who decided he was pissed off the the attentions of a couple of drunks in a park & bit my innocent-bystander dd.

It probably wasn't the dogs 'fault' it certainly wasn't my dd's but the dog will now be destroyed & my dd will be scarred for life. It wouldn't have happened if it was on a lead.