obviously I am and no wonder so many kids grow up petrified of the world

[ditavonteesed]

Just had a run in with a grandma in the park and I do not handle cnfrontation and I am sat here in tears.
Took puppy (very small border terrier, very well trained) and 4yo dd to the park for a bit of fresh air as feeling a bit down.
Puppy was running round with another dog and dd2, ran over to a toddler, I shouted her and she turned to come back, she didn't jump up or anything but toddler fell over, obviously not good balance skills, so I get puppy and put her on a llead and was heading over to say I am so sorry and give the ladsome money to buy the little girl an ice cream and perhaps let her have a fuss as puppy is very gentle and I didn't want her to be frightened.
lady just laid into me about how puppy should be on a lead and I am disgraceful etc, so I sayt I was about to give you money for an ice cream and apologise but you are rude, puppy is clearly safe I have my own small child, who is upset as woman shouting at her mum and puppy.
So I wlakaed off, got to top of park about 10 mins later (dog still onlead) and looked round and she is still sat cuddling this little girl, she fell very lightly on her bum.
Any2way there is no real point to this as I know you are all going to pile in and tell me IABU and I should keep my dog on a lead at all times and you are probably right.
I have no idea why I get so upset in these situations and wish I could handle confrontation.

That is fine with me cakes. Call people what you will.

I am sure it will suit you one day

The other day me and DCs and in laws were walking along a footpath that borders through someone's garden. As we crossed the brook, two huge labs came barking loudly over and so I quickly picked up DS and DD (8) who has a fear of dogs, tried to jump up onto her grandad who said she was silly and got really cross with her. MIL said "oh look they're wagging their tails, that means they're being friendly". However, I told them that the owners should have called the dogs back - they just sat around their lunch table staring at us. If they don't like peopl walking through the garden, they should put a fence up. I was fuming and loudly ranted as to how they shouldn't be allowed onto the footpath.

I totally desagree with you FranSanDisco (love your nickname BTW). I think dog wners in general (not talking about OP in particular) need to be far more considerate of people who do not have dogs/are scared of dogs that they are.

agree granny getting irate probably didn't help anyhitng.

but sometimes, it isn't as simple as "show them the dog is friendly"

we have been working for about 4 years now to try to get dd1 over her phobia, which arose out of nowhere (seemingly -possibly it was a dog running up to her, we don't know. she is ASD and cannot tell us why she is now scared, when she never used ot be)

to me, coming at it with my experience with dd1, the fact that the granny was still cuddling the girl 10 minutes later wouldmean deep upset, not any kind of pfb-ishness

Look at it this way; if someone shoved their pet python in your face and you didn't like snakes, you'd have something to say about it. Even if the owner said "oh, he's fine with people", you wouldn't take the risk if you thought it might bite you.
So why do people assume that everyone should like dogs.

ditto Silver

My Ds2 cannot be persuaded that any dog ( other than ours) is safe - and goodness we have tried!

But my mother would have been very upset on behalf of DS2. She is quite over protective because of his autism and she may have over reacted and been cross. Especially knowing that it is harder for her to comfort DS2

I know this thread is not to do with a child with SN but I think parents/carers sometimes are dealing with other factors not imediately obvious

Diva

A dog is a great choice for post depression , not withstanding your situation today. They are great company plus all that fresh air
Hope you continue to feel better

I didn';t shove the dog in anyones face, I picked her up and was ealking over to say sorry.

sadly, pagwatch, dd1 couldn't deal with our dog either, and so we had to re-home. was very all round, but better than our dog getting bored and antisocial in the garden, as we were unable ot walk her enough (I always had dd1 with me, and dh works away a lot)

thanbks pag, I was sitting int he house feeling glum and I thought why don't we take the dog out, I have been taking her at 7am so as not to meet any children and would never dream of taking her anywnbere near the play ground, I understand people are scared of dogs, I am tbh. I am going to post something in pets for some advise on b etter training as I obviously have not got it quite right.

Oh that is sad Silver.
Poor you

and dd2 is now sat on the sofa watching tv on such a lovely day and I can't thiink of anything to do with her either.

Sounds like an extreme over reaction by Grandma.
Yes it would have better if your dog hadn't run towards the little girl. But if he didn't get too close to her, then it's hardly crime of the century! Some people are just very intolerant of everything.

YABU though to get so upset by this old bag though.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Nothing happened this time and now you'll be more aware for next time. You sound like a rsponsible owner to me; only taking puppy for walks early before anyone else is there etc.
Puppy training classes will help a lot.

I think the granny reacted badly.

HOWEVER it is incidents like this that make children phobic about dogs. A friend of mine has a big black dog who is friendly but hyper. The few times we've gone over there (can't go anymore!) the dog has jumped at, barked at, knocked down and tried to lick my toddler, who is now terrified of all big black dogs. We were just at relatives on Tuesday, they have a very gentle big black dog & DD2 absolutely shook with fear and screamed whenever she came into the room.

I just don't understand why dogs need to be off leads in public places and why dog owners insist on saying "ooooh he's harmless" when he's just run at and knocked down a toddler.

it was awful, actually - we'd had her about 6 years by this point, brought her back form abroad etc. but, she is happy now, and where she needs to be - with a family of 3 girls who all spoil her rotten.

dita - don't be too sad.pag is right - dogs are great for getting out and about and getting fresh air, and it sounds as though your dd loves the dog too.

I only posted to point out that osmetimes, people aren't being pfb about dogs - there are some who are very very scared, no matter how many times they are told it is ok.

we do go to puppy classes every week and have done since she had her injections, I also spend at least 30mins a day doing training. she is just very young and probably a bit too friendly.

I understand why you posted and thanks, I understand that IWBU, I hate that I am unable to chalk things up to experience and am still sat here in tears.

I totally agree that many dog owners should be more responsible (not aimed at OP). The amount of dogs brought up to dc's school to hang around the gate is ridiculous. It's like Cruft's. If you had a child who had a dog phobia you couldn't leave the school . It's all showing off really and some of them try and go for each other (dogs not owners).

Dita, go out with dd and the puppy on a lead. Don't stay in - please don't let this upset you anymore. Enough, draw a line and go out

Sorry, I know what you mean about confrontations, I am still on edge from something that happened 2 days ago. Do you have a garden you can sit out in with DD & puppy? How old is DD? If she's under 2.5 I've got a great garden game for you.

Dita - i can understand why you were in tears.

You were upset because an incident happened which was your "fault", you were apologising and just got shouted at instead.

It's horrible when people are like this. sometimes I think people just want to have a go at someone just for the hell of it.

off for school run now, dd2 is 4, love to know the garden game though.

dita, please don't worry about it anymore.
don'tsit inside and fret.

you are taking oyur puppy to training classes. yuo have her under control, to an extent.

I think oyu lapsed a little by letting her run over to the other toddler, but it wasn'tthe crime of the century, and you also tried to make up for it by wanting ot offer an icecream etc.

go back out with your dd and your puppy. have fun in the sunshine - it is a glorious day out there.

FWIW, I would have been annoyed if it had happened ot me and dd1, butI certainly wouldn't ahve shouted at you. and I wouldn't have heldit against oyu either. these things do happen. I would onlyahve been really annoyed enough to say something if it was something that you let happen regularly, (ie whenever we saw you at the park) which it isn't, from what you are saying.

YABU

For a toddler, a puppy running at them must be quite a frightening thing...due to size alone....perhaps it would be the same as a Great Dane running at an adult.

Perhaps it's best to keep it on the lead until you are sure you can control it.

It's of little help when dog owners say they know their dog wont do any harm, unless you inform the person they are running at in writing in advance about that...also, I am always a bit about that anyway...I don't even know what other humans are thinking...never mind a bloody dog!

Although I am scared of dogs, I would not want my children to be, but for me that involves teaching children to respect animals and only approach them when the owner is there and thinks it is okay; it would not involve standing by blithely whilst someone's out of control dog ran at them.

Probably best just to keep puppy on lead when you can see young kids around until puppy is trained not to approach. Some toddlers are just terrified of dogs so no matter how nice your puppy is they may still be frightened. This is one of the reasons I would not want to have a dog myself as I find controlling my 2 boys hard enough without having to worry about any extra stress!! I think you sound really kind offering to pay for ice cream etc, the grandma was just probably being over protective, as I think you are even more careful than usual when it is not you actual child iyswim?
We were out with my parents eating a picnic and got ambushed for about 5 minutes by 2 dogs. One actually stole a sandwich out of my son's hand and ate it! My parents started shooing the dogs away as my children were terrified. When the owner came she screeched at us not to hit her dog (which we weren't). She had no regard for my kids or the fact that her dogs had taken our food and were jumping up at my boys. So anyway you sound much more reasonable than her and at least you had an eye on your gog!

sorry meant dog at the end not gog!!