obviously I am and no wonder so many kids grow up petrified of the world

[ditavonteesed]

Just had a run in with a grandma in the park and I do not handle cnfrontation and I am sat here in tears.
Took puppy (very small border terrier, very well trained) and 4yo dd to the park for a bit of fresh air as feeling a bit down.
Puppy was running round with another dog and dd2, ran over to a toddler, I shouted her and she turned to come back, she didn't jump up or anything but toddler fell over, obviously not good balance skills, so I get puppy and put her on a llead and was heading over to say I am so sorry and give the ladsome money to buy the little girl an ice cream and perhaps let her have a fuss as puppy is very gentle and I didn't want her to be frightened.
lady just laid into me about how puppy should be on a lead and I am disgraceful etc, so I sayt I was about to give you money for an ice cream and apologise but you are rude, puppy is clearly safe I have my own small child, who is upset as woman shouting at her mum and puppy.
So I wlakaed off, got to top of park about 10 mins later (dog still onlead) and looked round and she is still sat cuddling this little girl, she fell very lightly on her bum.
Any2way there is no real point to this as I know you are all going to pile in and tell me IABU and I should keep my dog on a lead at all times and you are probably right.
I have no idea why I get so upset in these situations and wish I could handle confrontation.

Puppy should have been on a lead definitely. But Granny probably over reacted. Mind you I confess I would have done as I absolutely hate dogs.

Grandmas overreacted but you need to keep the dog leashed around other children.

Dita - you have my complete sympathy. My dog is six now and does not run up to people, but when she was a puppy we were learning together how to handle certain situations.

The next puppy I get will always be on a lead if I spot a child on the horizon, because a lot of pups get over-excited around children.

However, peoples reactions to her did upset me when I first got her, because (I know now) I was identifying too closely with her, and was ashamed that she did not immediately return when I called her.

Also, if you're depressed, you've answered your own question wrt why you're still upset.

This time of year is hard with puppies, as the parks are so packed with small children and picnics. It'll be rainy old autumn soon enough, and you'll have the park to yourself again.

Try not to take it to heart. The woman does sound like she over-reacted to the situation as you described it.

Boy I hate it when people are letting their dogs delightedly run loose in the park, but then they spy my children and instantly call the animal over and leash it. It really annoys me that they think they have to do that just because they are kids and "might" be frightened .

So I'm sorry that you're feeling pressured into feeling you have to always leash your dog, OP .

And DD was frightened badly once by a pack of chihuahas with one big Rottweiler that swarmed her, but that's totally different from a single small puppy that doesn't even get within touching distance.

thanks for not flaming me, am feeling bettr now, going to puppy class tonight and been doing training in the garden, only problem is recall is perfect in every other situation but that is my problem.
got some uselful advice in pets. Had an awful lot of things happen the last few weeks and think this was probably the straw that broke the camels back iyswim.
I do find I really struggle in these sort of situations but as with the rest of life I will just have to get over it.
been round to a friends house and she has been showing me some training techniques as well as giving me tea and sympathy.

did you have to sit before she gave you a biscuit?

she tried to give me a pigs ear and make me submit, but thats a whole other story.

YANBU at all

YABU to have it off the lead at a park imo.

YANBU to think she made a big deal out of nothing. One of my absolute pet hates is people who soothe their child for ages after a tiny bump or who run to them every time they topple over. I wouldve just said to ds 'up you get' and that wouldve been the end of it tbh.

Oh hang on was it a park as in a playground or a park as in an open space? If the latter then YANBU.

Sorry but I think yab a bit u. I love dogs and grew up with them, but I don't trust a dog I don't know. If a dog I don't know runs up to me I am naturally cautious because I don't know that animal's temperament. And unfortunately every single dog owner insists that their pet wouldn't hurt a fly. Our local park is impossible to visit because of all the dogs off their leads. That said she did overreact a bit and her behaviour probably scared the child more than your dog did.

is an open space, there is a playground but we were no where near it.

That's an interesting analogy that I hadn't thought of, luciemule
I like the idea of taking my snake out to the park and seeing how dog owners feel about me letting her roam free. I might drop her into a picnic or two.
She's ever so friendly and hasn't bitten anyone yet. And she loves the sunny weather.

YABU.

You may 'know' that your puppy is safe, but the granny didn't. The toddler certainly didn't, and has a right to be comforted if she was upset. Not your place to judge if granny was making a fuss. You were about to offer money for an ice cream- why do that if you are completely in the right?

before this kicks off did I mention that it is a 3 month old puppy and about the size of a guineapig.

tethersend I didn't say I was in the rikght, in fact I have said that I am in the wrong.

You should have had her on a leash, but the Granny did overreact. I have a dog who is quite large (he's a mix but mostly golden retriever, we think) and even though he is always leashed when we're out and about someone yelled at me once because he'd frightend her child. I'm not sure how, as he was on a leash and not even looking towards said child, but there you have it...

Congrats on your new pup, what's her name?

You did not mention it was a teeny tiny adorable puppy! Sounds very cute, don't think even my wimpy children would have been scared by that. Granny's reaction definitely very very OTT.

Doesn't change the fact that I think all dogs should be on leads though. Because who will decide which ones can be on leads and which can't? If yours can be off, why not the giant mean dogs too? What would the cutoff be?

Amazed to see so many people stating that all dogs should be on leads. Dogs who are never allowed off the lead are more likely to become neurotic and upredictable in my experience.

The only place I keep my dog on a lead is the street and I take him to the park deliberately to run around and explore and get some exercise. I am very attentive and make always call him back if he runs off. Funnily enough I have the reverse problem of little children coming up and fussing over him without checking wether he's ok. So far he always has been but I would never assume and I always tell them not to touch him until I have him next to me. I'm surprised you haven't had more of that with your cute puppy Dita - when mine was that age it was like being out with a celebrity the amount of attention we got!

I just wonder if the old lady really saw what happened properly and if not that might explain the overreaction.

OK am going to generalise hugely but have often found in parks/toddler groups wherever there are lots of small children - the grannies do over-react. Probably as someone else said - because they're scared of what their dil will say

Hope you feel better soon though Dita!

I was upset for ages after a granny shouted at me after my then 2 year old ds got sand on her grand-daughter.

I'm sorry but dogs who are likely to run up to other people or licking or jumping up, should be on leads. I really dont like being slobbered on, and even a gentle dog can hurt someone by jumping up - I had this happen to me in a park and someones "harmless" black lab jumped up and put its claws straight through an expensive cardigan! I was very annoyed. It also managed to scratch my hand quite badly in the process.

So YABU for having puppy off the lead, but YANBU for thinking the woman was very OTT and for being upset.

YABU, sorry! my dd is petrified of all dogs since one ran over to her in the park and she fell over. the dog was not angry but she got a terrible fright from the dog bounding over and knocking her over.

i love dogs and i have NEVER reinforced her dog phobia. some people just have no patience with children who are scared of dogs and are intent on 'curing' these children. some people just are afraid - it doesn't mean they are cowardly, or dramatic, or have over precious parents, or are lesser human beings. some people just dont like dogs; that's ok too. so what?

dog owners can feel free to enjoy their dogs if thats what they like. by the same token my dd certainly has the right to enjoy her time out at the park too and should not have to accept dogs licking her or knocking her over.

she now goes rigid with fear if we visit any friends with dogs - you can imagine how many problems this causes for us.

you were very good to offer to buy the child icecream and i think you did really feel sorry for her/him, but consider that the child was much more upset than you thought.